Are you pro-abortion and in favor of parental consent?

I would hope, given the situation, that my relationship with my daughter would be strong enough that she would want to tell me and/or her mother that she was A) pregnant and B) considering an abortion. We work very hard to have that kind of openness.

That being said, I don’t think it should be mandated that I know by law.

While I would be sad and disappointed if she didn’t come to us first, I certainly don’t need the government interfering in our relationship.

THAT being said, of course, I’d prefer she not get pregnant in the first place. But hey, if wishes were fishes…

It’s a sad but true fact, that we need protect the rights of these girls. Some parents would be willing to listen, and even if they were disappointed, they would still be there for their daughter, but some parents are just assholes. They would either force their child to continue an unwanted pregnancy, make their child give the baby up for adoption, or keep the baby. And the emotional turmoil is something most teens want to avoid, because even with a good relationship with their parents, children are still children and don’t want to disappoint or upset their parents.
It’s a shame. I would want to know, but I also know what it’s like to be a teen in that exact situation. I approached my parents and told them I was pregnant, of course they flipped out…it was handled horribly and is probably one of the biggest mistakes my parents made while parenting me. yes, I can say that Even kids with good relationships will have parents who push their agenda..
I agree with what @cprevite posted.

@cprevite and @casheroo perfect answers

Well I think that it’s a procedure a parent should know about because it’s semi-invasive, not because of its political or emotional or what have you ties…so I would want to know, yes, that someone is cutting into my daughter…and I would, ideally, prefer a world where daughters wouldn’t be so scared of telling their parents about abortion so that we wouldn’t even need this debate, this debate of whether or not parental consent is necessary…

Actually, no, I don’t think parental consent is necessary but I do think that parental awareness is necessary but shouldn’t be mandatory because some parents will be a danger to their children…

I am not in favor of it. I was forced to tell my mother (thankfully in Ohio you only have to get one parent’s permission, not both—telling my dad would have killed me) and even though I knew she would support whatever decision I made, sadly this is not the case for a lot of underage girls. I’ve heard too many horror stories of girls being forced to continue their pregnancies against their will, of girls opting to go through unsafe, secret abortions, of girls being abused by their parents for being pregnant…there is the option of the girl going to a judge and getting permission to have an abortion without the parents’ consent, but from what I’ve heard most of these judges do not rule in the girls’ favor.

In a perfect world, all girls would be able to tell their parents and get their support whether they personally agree with her decision or not. But we definitely do not live in a perfect world and, as @casheroo said, the rights of these girls must be protected. I also agree with @Simone_De_Beauvoir ; I don’t have as much of a problem with parental notification, but I think it should be waived if the girl feels that she would be in danger if her parents knew.

I’m pretty much right in the middle of pro-choice and pro-life, but I kind of lean towards parental consent.

Many times an abortion is not invasive. If it is done early enough, within 9 weeks of a missed period according to Planned Parenthood http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/abortion/abortion-pill-medication-abortion-4354.htm you can just take medication, which is the majority of the time effective.

I’m pro-choice. I’m not pro-abortion. I can’t believe anyone is pro-abortion. I’m not in favor of mandatory parental notification, but I do think that girls should be offered to chance for a phone call or something—maybe a reminder that they may want to talk to their parents. In any case, I hope my daughter would feel safe talking to us about it.

I’m pro-choice and I don’t think parental consent should be required, but there should be an age cut off. For instance if a girl is 13 when she gets pregnant I do think that the parents should be involved in what’s going on. 14 (maybe 15) sounds like a good cut off age.

Well I don’t know about that controversy. I am firmly pro-life and pro-sanctity.

I wouldn’t require parental consent, but I think parental knowledge should be required. I think parents should be aware of any medicines their child is taking or medical treatments their child is undergoing (not just abortion related) for safety reasons.

@daloon I like that…offered a chance to call a parent, or maybe offered the chance to speak to their parent with a counselor present. That seems like a good compromise.

I’m rabidly pro abortion.

Not only should the parents not need to know, they should be barred from even intervening- no one should get kicked out of their house for having an abortion.

Also, though, schools should be giving out condoms, etc. And birth control should be part of minimum health care rights- you should be able to get birth control from any medical clinic, paid for with glorious tax dollars.

Children are a choice.

I’m pro choice, but not pro-abortion. I’m unsure about parental consent. While I wish complete privacy rights for people of all ages, I fear that some girls, especially the very young or uneducated ones, could fall victim to a dangerous situation with a cheap, dirty doctor without parental guidance. I’m on the fence, but I’d lean toward no parental consent, but would hold doctors to the highest expectations and if one hurt my imaginary daughter, I’d cut his/her reproductive organs out.

Just to clarify I used pro-abortion in the main question, because I was looking for answers from people who actually would consider an abortion for themselves or their children. I know many people who would never do it themselves or want it for their children, but are respectful of other peoples rights to have an abortion, and so identify as pro-choice. I am not implying that people who utilize the option of abortion are happy about abortions happening. I think everyone agrees we would prefer the need for abortion to be close to zero. The reason I thought of this question is because I know someone, a father of 2 girls, who voted for parental consent. When I asked him if he would have his daughter get an abortion if she got pregnant as a teenager, he replied without hesitation, “in a second, I would make the appointment and drive her there.” I could not see the logic. Hence, the question. Thanks for all of the great answers so far.

I’m not pro-choice (in general, I believe there are exceptions), but I’m also not in favor of parental consent. How much does that throw a wrench in the gears? LOL

@aphilotus Having sex is the choice, children is a consequence that shouldn’t be dealt with lightly. I think something like an abortion should need some sort of consent from either a parent or guardian.

@J0E I agree at an individual level that yeah, no one person should take sex or children lightly.

But at a societal level, unless we seriously start cutting down on the number of children born by rabidly encouraging safe sex, abortion, etc, there are going to be a lot of problems in the future.

@aphilotus What is society but a bunch of individuals?

@J0E a structure by which those individuals can make choices as a group that do not necessarily benefit any one person.

Absolutely not.

I have two little girls. When they grow up to an age where such a situation is possible I too would sincerely hope that they would chat openly to me about it. I would help them regardless of their wishes.

That said, I see no reason to bring the state in. If the girl is old enough to get pregnant then she is old enough to decide if she wants her parents involved in the decision. If not, then she probably has a good reason to keep them out of it.

The parents should have no legal right to dictate whether or not their daughter aborts a fetus.

@JLeslie The thing with that medical abortion, is it requires more visits than a surgical abortion, it requires testing of iron afterwards, and for the woman to be aware if she may be bleeding out or not….and it’s hard to gauge that…I had two medical abortions and probably should have gotten a transfusion with them, but wasn’t sure. I even went back to PP but they were just concerned if you pass too large of clots (I’m talking tennis ball size, which is the same with after giving birth.. large clots aren’t good). I would actually think a teen could not handle a medical abortion, because of the excessive amount of blood and pain, and waiting for it to all end. A parent would definitely know. It’d be near impossible to hide.

@casheroo thanks for the additional info on that. The only experience I have with medication to “abort” was methotrexate for my ectopic, and I know that must be different, than a two month pregnancy. The lining of the uteris would already have been much more built up compared to what I went through. I would assume the sooner you do the abortion the less blood and shorter time it would take. I have heard that aspiration is faster and easier in the end. I have no personal experience with either one.

@JLeslie You cannot do a medical abortion past 7 weeks, at Planned Parenthood..so you have to go almost immediately after finding out. I think the amount of blood just depends on the person. I usually have very light periods and barely bled compared to others after I gave birth, but taking those medications made me literally think I was dying from blood loss. Oh and I was an adult and almost married, but still scared to tell my parents what was going on lol

@casheroo I’m curious why the second time you did not opt to do the in-clinic procedure?

@JLeslie Honestly, the thought of the surgery scares the crap out of me. I know they do it on women all the time, even for regular miscarriages and they go on to have healthy children..but I was too scared it would scar my uterus. I also don’t like the idea of being semi awake during it, they offer “twilight” sedation but I was just too freaked out.

@casheroo makes sense.

@poofandmook can you expand on your answer? So as long as it is the law, meaning legal to get an abortion, you would vote against parental consent?

I don’t think parental consent should be required, after all no one should feel forced or even pressured when it comes to a decision like this but I also kind of (I’m not 100% sure yet) with @jhp

I do not think that, unless the mother’s/child’s life is in danger, or unless the pregnancy was the product of a rape or incest, that abortion should not be an option. I think that if you’re responsible enough to have sex, then you should be responsible enough to deal with the possible ramifications. I also think that once a viable fetus is created, that it’s not just the mother’s body anymore. There are so many parents out there trying to adopt children because they can’t have any. There are tons of willing, loving, capable want-to-be parents out there that the child could have a loving family. Anybody see Juno? That’s how it should be done.

With all that said, if a teenager is going to be irresponsible enough to not take the proper precautions before having sex, I think they should be able to procure an abortion without parental consent. I also think that a girl should be able to obtain birth control without parental consent… which could very well be the case nowadays but a short 11 years ago when I was 15, it wasn’t, and you needed consent to get birth control. I don’t agree with abortion (almost) ever, but if you’re absolutely going to persue it, it should be your choice and not a parent’s.

I wouldn’t call myself pro-abortion, but I agree with pretty much all of what @aphilotus said.

Condoms/birth control should be easily and readily available to those that need it.

We should take steps in this direction to help lessen the expansion of Human population.

We as a culture should be more educated about sex and it’s consequences and steps we can take to protect ourselves and each other.

I am pro choice/pro abortion but I am not in favor of mandatory parental consent because not all parents are supportive, compassionate, reasonable or trustworthy. Sad but true. When in the position of an unplanned, unwanted or dangerous pregnancy then the girl needs the most positive energy and guidance around her, abortion is a tough decision.

@poofandmook no yeah, ‘cause Juno is just how it happens in the real world.

I’m generally anti-abortion, but realise there are exceptions. It should not be used routinely instead of contraception (as it is here in Europe), but at the same time there are situations where abortion is necessary.

@Simone: I know you’re going through something in your real life, and so I’m going to let that snide answer go. What I meant is that, Juno got pregnant, and instead of having an abortion, she gave the baby to a loving mother who couldn’t have children herself. That was my point.

@Jack79 my parents used it as contraception – I think it was because their society was trying to be all proper and pretend there is no need for condoms and it, well, never worked out…mom had like 15 abortions – I was going to be one as well but the abortion doctor was on vacation

@poofandmook Wow. That is a unique answer. Is part of the reason you think a girl should be able to seek an abortion on her own to protect the parent? So the parent is not party to the decision of abortion? And, I have a lot of problem with saying that if a young teen is old enough to have sex they should be old enough to deal with the consequences, because we know that teens are not good about predicting consequences, neuroscience has proven it, and society has acknowledged it for a long time, even before the science explained it, that is one of the reasons we have juvenile court.

@JLeslie: Well, that’s actually sort of why I don’t agree with parental consent. I know teens do stupid things. I don’t really like the idea of teens running off and having abortions, but since a good deal of them aren’t mature enough to predict consequences, as you pointed out, I can maybe understand it a little better for a teenager. They make mistakes. I would prefer the baby be born and given for adoption, but I also know that having a child as a teenager is probably much more psychologically damaging than it would be for an adult to take the same course of action.

@poofandmook So you think a teen should go through all the physical and emotional pain that comes with carrying a baby, just because she got pregnant, and then give the baby away? That’s ideal?
I’m all for adoption, but I really think adoption and teens are a hard thing for me to accept, because of the emotions that go into having a child and then giving it away.
And things aren’t just like Juno. I was asking my 16 year old cousin the other day what happens to pregnant girls at her high school (public, but stricter than the one I went to…mine had a lot of girls with children) And she said they can attend while pregnant but are forced to leave once they have the baby because they want to ensure that their drop out rate stays low…people think having a child automatically means you will drop out, which is sad. They should be given the same opportunities.

@poofandmook please never let any of my remarks go – Id have made it all the same no matter what was happening…Juno received a lot of flack because it was unrealistic…and 9 months of pregnancy and the possible postpartum are no joke…a person DOES NOT have to go through that simply because there are loving parents out there..and let me shed some light on the adoption scene..most parents are white and rich and want white ‘normal’ babies…those that are remotely undeveloped or non white just end up in awful foster systems like the one here in NYC…it’s not a picnic

@simone and casheroo: read what I said in my last response. I’m not crazy about the idea of abortion in any case. The instance of a teenager giving birth is a hard one for me. WHICH IS WHY I think they should be able to get an abortion without parental consent.

@poofandmook I think the conversations you have with your children or around your children greatly influence what they will do if they get pregnant. I really appreciate your explanation.

I cannot imagine giving away my child, except under horrible extreme circumstance. Giving my baby away for adoption was never an option for me. It was have a baby or abortion. Not that I was ever in the situation, but that is what the options would have been in my mind. Growing up I was told if I get pregnant I would be hauled off to the abortion line. I was kind of afraid of the procedure, so it was a deterrent. Sometimes I worry about people making it seem like pregnancy and birth, giving life, is a miraculous thing, and that giving up a baby to a good home is a gift, etc. I am not saying you are saying that. But there seems to be some of this in the pro-life movement. Everyone celebrating the baby was not aborted. I think a young girl should be completely FREAKED she is a teen and pregnant. Not be judged, anyone can make a mistake, and if she chooses to have the baby I hope her family and friends help her and support her, and like @casheroo pointed out, I hope her school is understanding. It seems that with pregnant teens in pro-life families the chidlren are more freaked their parents will know they had sex, than about the pregnancy. I have no idea if that is really true, I have not spoken to any pro-life teens personally.

I can say with confidence that, as a (mostly) pro-lifer, if my future daughter were to become pregnant as a teenager, I would let her make the choice, and I would support her no matter what. I’m not one of the pro-lifers that thinks that abortion is murder…that’s a harsh word. Unnecessary death is how I’d put it. And I’m the polar opposite of a holy roller, so it’s not a religious thing. I just don’t agree with it, is all.

@poofandmook Oh, I didn’t get the impression you were one of those holy rollers, sorry if it came out that way. I respect your position. But, I thought you might have insight to how they think.

@poofandmook I hope you don’t feel I was attacking you for being pro-life. I do respect your stance. I just think it’s unrealistic. You seem to be the most rationaly pro life person I’ve talked to lol This is all bringing back awful memories of when I was 16 and became unexpectedly pregnant, while on the pill…a total “It won’t happen to me” scenario. My parents flipped out, and wanted me to get an abortion. I refused, so they assumed I’d give the baby up for adoption and actually began looking at places to send me to…like my Aunts home, or a home for pregnant teens. It was ridiculous. I was pretty set on adoption, but it was very early in the pregnancy. I ended up losing the baby naturally, so it became a non-issue. My parents told me afterwards that they’d never give away their blood….why would they put me through what they did though?! Parents seem to go crazy in stressful situations, they’re only human though.

@casheroo Oh, how awful. Sorry this has stirred up bad memories. Parents are so whacky sometimes. Are you Jewish?

@JLeslie: Oh, no, I didn’t feel like you thought I was a holy roller or anything. I was just trying to clarify my position a bit.

@casheroo: I didn’t think you were attacking me, but I am well aware of how non-liberal thinking is generally accepted here on Fluther, and so I was naturally on my guard. I generally consider myself a liberal, and even my conservative pro-life stance would be considered too liberal for a conservative… lol… being on the fence is a hard place to be! Though, considering your experience, I would understand if you were to attack me for it… LOL

@poofandmook Now that I can understand. Flutherites can be tough on “non-liberals” as you call it. :) But it is opinions like yours that I find most interesting, because I already pretty much know how liberals think, I am one, and I am surrounded by them. Although, even liberals vary depending on the specific topic. It is the “other” point-of-view that I want to understand most of all. Hell, I might change my mind or be proven wrong. I start to lose respect when someone is just following whatever their party or church says, not THINKING.

Without getting too deep into this debate, I’d like to ask a question if I may. If parents don’t get the right to give permission, and are not allowed to have knowledge of the medical procedure type of abortion, are they still legally bound to pay for any complications arising from it?

Say for instance, the patient develops some horrible infection or hemorrhages a day or so later. Since they gave no permission, and had no knowledge of the procedure preformed, it would come as quite a shock to both the parent and their wallet, don’t you think?

I understand all the points of view you’ve all posted so far, but I’m wondering if anyone is thinking about an unsuspecting parent’s point of view?

I was fortuante enough to have a daughter who got pregnant 6 years after she married, so I wasn’t in this positon, but I would hope if it had happened at a younger age, she would feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it. That made me think of what I would do if she had done it without my knowledge and something went horribly wrong.

BTW, my stance is I lean more towards the pro-choice side of this issue. I believe in a woman’s right to choose when there are extenuating circumstances, and I hope she would choose life, and not use abortion as a form of birth control. ,

Money? <<shakes head>>. Abortion isn’t about money.

@scamp: I don’t say that a teen should be able to get an abortion without parental consent so she can do it without her parents’ knowledge. The decision to tell her parents is a personal one that should ultimately have nothing to do with the abortion. So, if she gets pregnant, and talks to her parents, and they absolutely refuse to allow her to have an abortion, then she’s stuck with a baby she doesn’t want, might not care for, or the pain of giving up a child for adoption. But if she tells her parents, and they say absolutely no abortion, it should be her decision to make, even if her parents disagree.

Does it make any sense that I think it should be her choice, even though I wouldn’t necessarily agree with the choice if it were made? O.o

Of course it’s not about money.. but that was only a small part of my post. Let’s look at another side of my question then… What about the heartache a parent would go through finding out about the procedure because their daughter bled out and died? That of course is a very remote possibliity, but possible all the same.

@poof.. I see what you’re saying, and it makes sense to me. I agree with some of what you’ve said.

@scamp It is very rare an infection or severe complication occurs, but if it did, it is like any other thing your daughter does and winds up needing medical care, you help her get the medical care. I mean, if she went skiing and twisted her ankle, you get her medical attention, and pay for it right?

@scamp An argument to be pro-choice. So, your daughter will come to you, and you can help supervise her recovery from the abortion. And, it will be done in a safe sterile environment.

@JLeslie You’re not getting my point either. Did you read my whole post? I said I am pro-choice. I would just like to be able to help my daughter choose who preforms her procedure, and make sure it is done in a safe sterile environment.

@scamp Yes, I read it. Did you say if you are for parental consent? I missed it if you did.

Then I say the parents should have been the kind of parents that a girl could trust. I say if something happens to their child then it’s their problem.

What if you let your kid participate in sports and they die? Where does it end?

@scamp You are pro-choice, which I appreciate, but it seems for yourself and your own child you would choose life, so in your daughters eyes I would assume becoming pregnant as a teen would mean you expect her to have the baby, or maybe I am making a bad assumption?

@tinyfaery In the defense of parents. Even when parents would be understanding about things like these, some kids are not going to tell their parents. Children confuse a parents guidance with dissaproval all of the time. They think they will be in trouble or their parent will be angry or dissappointed, when really the parent wants to be there to help their child if they get into a bad situation.

Hmm, now I’m wondering what legally happens if the woman or girl has to go to the hospital. I think I had just lost my insurance, and went to Planned Parenthood..and they tell you to go to the ER if you have excessive bleeding. They go by how much money you make, for how much the abortion will cost…so I don’t know how they expect people to pay out of pocket for hospitalization. I probably would have expected Planned Parenthood to pay or care for me. But, legally I don’t know.

I had mine done, and I didn’t need consent from my mother, nor did I tell her until MONTHS later when she found out through snooping through my things. She told me if I ever got pregnant that she would kick me out (plus she was already abusive). I don’t think you should need parental consent, esp in situations like mine. People who get the procedure done, don’t tell their parents about it for a reason.

Children only confuse things which their parents are confusing about. Care is never confusing. I have no sympathy for parents. They are the adults.

@tinyfaery I’ll think about that.

@chelseababyy thank you for sharing that. Of course that is the main reason I want girls to have access without consent, the parents could be horrible, or worse a girl could be pregnant by a sexually abusive father, or stepfather, crazy shit happens all of the time.

to quote Pope John Paul II, [who grew up down the street from my own gramps, in Krakov]
said this,...............”....for a Nation, that Kills it’s Own Children, is a Nation Wthout Hope.”
adepts in tibet, big heads, said this too,....... what is the most evil aspect of humanity?
no, not murder. it’s “Selfishness”, that breeds a mother load of schtick. ok?

I am pro-choice, not necessarily pro-abortion but in favor of an individual’s right to choose but I also think parents of minor children need to know about any medical procedure that will be performed on said children. While abortion and pregnancy are considered both to be quite safe, there are complications that are possible. How would you feel if your child had a medical procedure done unbeknownst to you and died or became seriously ill with infection as a result?

Yes, I know some parents are immature, judgmental or sometimes downright evil people. But they are also responsible for the well-being of the minor children in their care. I believe that an underage girl should need to have parental permission in order to have such a procedure, or permission from someone who can act in loco parentis if the child rightfully fears their parents’ reaction.

Our children are both adopted. The mother of one was 21 when she became pregnant and so was legally able to make her own decision. However, her mother caused her immense emotional pain by not supporting her in any way. She was ostracized for becoming pregnant at all, and would have been considered doomed to Hell for choosing abortion. Because the child was mixed race her family and the birth father’s family were both outraged at the idea that they should attempt to raise the child. I ended up actually serving in the role of mother to the birth mother for several years, until she graduated from college, met a great guy and married him.

OTOH, the mother of the other child was supported by her mother in any decision she chose to make. However, she delayed making a decision until the only possibility was to carry to term. Nonetheless, her mother helped her decide to place the child for adoption and helped her select us as the adoptive parents.

I would hope that either of my children would turn to me if they found themselves in such a situation, but then I believe strongly that they would come to me long before to tell me they wanted to be sexually active and so needed birth control and gynecological care.

@Darwin So, if it comes down to it, are you voting for mandatory parental consent or not? amazing story by the way, thanks for sharing

@vanhelsing: No.

I am not happy about mandating parental consent, especially if the minor girl is not under control. On the other hand, the parent/guardian should be informed if only to help in protecting the girl’s rights, ensuring her welfare, etc. If the girl’s relationship with her parents is healthy, the question will not arise. BTW, I extracted a promise from my daughter that should she become pregnant, she would come to me first before making any decision.

@JLeslie – I vote yes, in favor of mandatory parental or guardian consent.

@Darwin but since you stated that you strongly believe they would come to you, why do you need the law? And, I know you said you are pro-choice, but is there a certain choice you would want your daughters to pick if they became pregnant?

I want the law because I don’t want someone to convince my child to have a medical procedure without my knowledge and consent, just as I don’t want them to risk getting an infection by getting a tattoo or to have their tonsils out without my knowledge. I would want them to go to a doctor or clinic that I know is trustworthy and safe. I also have better financial resources than either of them will have for a number of years, which will also lead to a safer result, whatever it may be.

As to what choice my children might make, the only one that they cannot make is to have me raise the child. I do not have the energy for that. They do need to voice their reasons for their choice, and then I will support them in that choice, whatever it may be.

I really can understand why parents want to know if their child is having a medical procedure, even though I am against mandatory consent.

I have a feeling that if you raped your child and she got pregnant, you don’t care much about her welfare. Nor would you deserve to have any say in what she does.

http://calitics.com/diary/9808/the-prolife-hypocrisy

@tinyfaery – In that case, a responsible party would stand in loco parentis, such as a case worker from CPS. In that particular case, the parent or parents that committed and/or allowed the rape would go to jail.

@Darwin if we know the guy is raping the daughter.

You find out because his kid ends up pregnant and wanting an abortion.

@Darwin One would hope, but she could lie to protect her father, or in fear of him. Meanwhile, this is obviously a rare and extreme case. But, the idiot could be pro-life and a rapist and be angry at HER for getting pregnant. Crazy shit happens. But, like I said all very unlikely. Hmmm…I might have seen that on a Lifetime movie?

@JLeslie I’m right there with you. I know how it is first hand, and being able to have the freedom to do such a thing without consent was such a great opportunity. Not that I’m saying that people should just go get pregnant and have an abortion behind their parents backs. I’m just saying when you’re in a tough situation and you’re scared and you’re not sure of how things may turn out, it’s nice to be able to make a choice for yourself.

I would just like to point out that not all pro-lifers fit that profile. raises hand

@JLeslie you made the wrong assumptions, and have completely misunderstood what I said..

@poofandmook Of course not. No one thinks so. @chelseababyy and I are talking about extreme circumstance. The fictitious character in my scenerio is in no way supposed to represent pro-life people, he represents an abusive person.

@scamp Yes, I went back and read, and for some reason I thought you had said you were pro-choice, but did not want an abortion, I think I was typing too late at night, like I am now. So, I infer from what you wrote, after rereading, it that you want parental consent. Sorry I misunderstood, thank you for pointing it out.

I am pro-choice because I don’t ever want a woman to have the right to what happens to her own body taken away from her, forcing her to some back alley chop shop.

I also would like parents with pregnant minors to be informed at the very least to keep their children safe. I understand there are some circumstances where that would not be in the child’s best interest.

I would like to see the child (or any woman, for that matter) take responsibility for her actions in cases where she had unprotected sex in spite of all the information and birth control that is readily available to anyone who seeks it.

If a minor child is in one of the circumstances mentioned earlier in this thread where she would be forced to keep a baby that was the product of rape, or her parent(s) would be abusive to her if they found out, there should be some type of assistance available to her to either speak to her parents, or bypass their consent.

Child protection services could get involved to help the parties heal and avoid further damage being done to a pregnant minor. If in fact the minor is in an abusive situation, pregnancy is merely the tip of the iceberg, and child protection services should be involved anyway to help with the underlying problems.

In a typical situation where there is no abuse, rape or anything of that nature involved , the parent should have the right to know that their daughter is considering a medical procedure and be able to help choose where it is done so they can assist with the aftercare involved, and most importantly be able to make sure the child learns to make better decisions in the future, such as using birth control and being more selective in what happens to her body.

It sickens me to think about women who use abortion as their only form of birth control. These days, it seems as common for a girl to call a guy she’s involved with her “baby daddy” as often as they call them boyfriend. Does no one else see anything wrong with that?

@scamp Of course we see something wrong with baby daddy being a common thing. That is a separate topic really, which I don’t mind discussing. I think teen mothers is a very big problem in our society. I would love for these girls to not have sex or use birth control or get an abortion. The first two choices being the best options. But, within some subcultures in our society having a baby gives these girls status from what I understand, they are happy to get pregnant, so birth control will not work. That is a whole cultural change that needs to occur.

I think your statements about the abused child are idealistic. I think tons of abuse just flies under the radar. Adding a baby to the situation will not make things better.

I do understand why you want to know if your daughter is having a medical procedure, I think you have to hope you have built a strong enough relationship that she will come to you; or, as I think Daloon suggested, I am in favor of a counselor at an abortion clinic being mandated to offer calling your mom with or for you, before going through with a procedure and I would add that the girl is mandated to go to a class that teaches all forms of birth control. If you say these girls need to take responsibility, then getting abortion is dealing with the consequences of her bad decision. Some girls live in denial for months and then have a baby to deal with, they are the ones not really facing the consequences of their actions.

I still want to protect the girl who has abusive parents, or parents who will not let her get an abortion.

@JLeslie Should I type slower? Or are you reading too fast? I said nothing about adding a baby to an abusive situation. What exactly do you think is idealistic about protecting a child from abuse by getting child protective services involved?? Please read and re-read my comments before posting so you get a better grasp of what I am saying.

I’m guessing you either are not a parent at present or your children are very young, because you don’t seem to understand this issue from a parent’s point of view.

“I still want to protect the girl who has abusive parents, or parents who will not let her get an abortion.”

So make sure that all abortion doctors require the signature of a parent or a legal guardian, including a CPS worker or an attorney ad litem before performing a procedure. In any case, anyone in the health care professions is already required by law to notify CPS of suspected child abuse and APS of suspected elder abuse. And the vast majority of nurses, doctors, lab techs, etc., that I know abhor child abuse and are very willing to step up to the plate if such is suspected.

@scamp we are not communicating well. I said that I UNDERSTAND why a parents would want to know when their child is having a medical procedure. I also think our system f$!ks up quite often and abused children slip through the cracks, and that children lie to protect parents. I meant that if the parent is the abuser maybe it is best they are not notified their daughter was having sex or got pregnant or whatever. If the abortion clinic suspects abuse, they SHOULD report it, so it can be investigated, but I want the girl to be able to get her abortion. I did not think you were saying adding a baby to the abusive situation is a good idea, what I was saying is if the family is abusive, and they are not going to allow an abortion, and the abuse is not being taken care of by our social services then adding a baby will make things worse. I am not trying to put words in your mouth.

Basically, you want parental notification and I don’t. I know if I had been pregnant as a teen I would have told my mom, and she would have rushed me over for the abortion. My mom knew I was having sex, so revealing that was not a worry for me.

I asked the question because I was interested to know why people who are in favor of abortion are against parental consent, because it didn’t make sense to me. Now I see some of the arguments, and I have a better understanding of the thought process. Thank you.

Consider this idea instead: parents need not give consent, but the authorities must offer counseling to the girl; counseling that is unbiased, accurate and confidential. However, if the girl is under – say – sixteen, for example, I don’t see how the parents cannot be involved.

@Darwin Great idea!

@Darwin My parents were abusive. I was taken out of their custody once and they had to go to court to get me back. They told the judge there would be no more abuse, and was thee? Absolutely. The NJ Division of Youth and Family Services were called many more times by me and my school and other relatives however half the time they said I was just a lying, rebellious child who didn’t want to follow her parents rules.

So you saying “So make sure that all abortion doctors require the signature of a parent or a legal guardian, including a CPS worker or an attorney ad litem before performing a procedure.” if that was the case, I would have never been able to get the abortion, and I would have gotten even MORE abused.
I would hope people who have been in my situation, or situations like mine would be able to tell their family members and seek help, I was not able to and had to go through the process on my own. It was the safest and best thing for me, and I do not regret it. Not having to deal with consent was the BEST thing. If I had to, I would have been worse off.

In my experience with CPS here in Texas every report is investigated to a faretheewell, and twice over if the abuse is reported by a school or a doctor. Down here at any rate, once you hit 14 the judge must take your words as truth and will remove a child if the child says abuse is happening.

@Darwin I wish it were like that in NJ. Family Services talked to my mother before they talked to me MANY TIMES and they pretty much just disregarded what I said and took her word that I was just acting out and didn’t want to follow rules.

@chelseababyy it’s really sad that they didn’t listen to you when you were trying to tell them the abuse was continuing. Maybe you should see if you can get an adult to speak to them for you so this doesn’t happen again. I can’t understand why they would discredit what you told them if there was a history of abouse.

Granted, some kids do make false reports because they want to get their own way in some issues, but they should investigate any and all complaints. too many children fall through the cracks because of that attitude, and I’m sorry it happend to you.

It’s very sad that the same people that are anti-abortion are pro death penalty (except the Catholics). Having an abortion is a very sad thing. Counseling should be mandatory for girls under 18. We have to protect children that are being abused by adults or relatives. We can also prevent future abortions if we find that the parents are responsible for her condition. I also believe it should be a last resort and limited resource. You get two abortions, the third time you get your tubes tied because you have proved yourself unfit for motherhood.

@Ron_C So are you saying that you want parental consent?

@JLeslie the more I think about it the less I think consent should be asked. There are too many parents that would insist that the kid had the baby just because their religion says so. Unfortunately, these are the same people that support abstinence only and won’t get their kids birth control. So no the parents shouldn’t be notified but there should be counselor or advocate to support someone that makes this decision. In fact, I understand that some planned parenthood clinics do that.

@Ron_C I agree.