Is my Dad's business any of my business?
My dad raised us in a born again Christian household. My parents have been divorced for about six years. My father is now actively searching for a Russian/Czechoslovakian bride through seedy dating sites. I think that this is somewhat dangerous, and not really the route I would like to see him go if he wants to find someone to spend his life with. He has gone on 3 or 4 international trips to meet women and I’m scared for his safety. I think many of these women prey on American men for their money. I’m afraid he is going to go to another country and get robbed or worse.
Is this my business? Or do I just let him do what he is going to do?
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14 Answers
Wow, what a tough one. I believe there is indeed a chance that he could be in danger. Some of these arrangements are tantamount to prostitution, and many of these tales have ended badly, but how would your dad take your interference? I know my dad would have told me to mind my own business.
Maybe you can assemble some research and show it to him.
He’s going to do what he wants to do. You can voice your concerns and hope for the best, but that’s about all you can do. I’m sorry. :(
What you just told us? About being scared for his safety and that you worry there may be women who pray on American men because they are lonely and have money? You should tell him that. Do it in a respectful way, where it is obvious that you are talking to him because you are worried about him, but you should tell him.
If you don’t and something happens, you’ll never forgive yourself. If you do and he blows you off, at least you tried. And if you do and he gets angry, just explain that you were simply worried about him and will not interfere in the future.
Explain your position. It’s all you can really do.
Great, great question and well written. I need to think it over and return. Good show.
Some weeks ago i saw a docu on the Belgian television about (mainly) Russian datingsites and the way they work.
Criminal.
I searched for references to it on the web, but i only found something in Dutch.
You could try to put this article through a translator and see if it makes sense.
Or visit this site, which is dedicated to the problem of criminal datingsites.
“Dear Visitor,
The first part of Stop-Scammers.com web site is about known scammers involved in dating fraud (scam) with complete information, photos, scam reports, media files, fake documents (passports, visas, etc.), forum, different scam scenarios, warning signs, resources for reporting and much more…”
I really understand what your going through. My dad recently had a thing for Thai brides and he went there several times “looking for love” his last was a 27 yr old biatch. But he met a lovely 40 ry old Thai women here in England in a restaurant of all places and he is smitten. You’ve got to let him make his own mistakes, hell mine made many, but he deserves happiness and if this is his way let him carry on. I have a right laugh with my dad now he’s settled about the past failed attempts. I hope you can keep your mind at ease until hes found the 1!
just to comment on things said by others before. I am sure your dad is well aware of the risks and money grabbing poor eastern european girls but if this is how he feels he might find happiness then dont patronise him by thinking you know better, he’ll feel more hurt by you if he thinks you dont want h to be happy.
He’s a grown man and should have friends counsel him through this, it is likely a doomed venture.
!st of all, your fear fear of his getting robbed in a foreign country. The thing to do is meet people in public places. Tourists of any sort should not be carrying enough cash to be a target.
In foreign bride situations, I think the women are more likely to be in danger. They end up with a virtual stranger in a foreign country where they have nobody to turn to when things go awry.
This might make some angry but I would question the character of a man who has to go to the other side of the planet, to another culture to find a wife. Sonetimes the reference to being christian is really code for a man who has to dominate and control a submissive/servant wife. These guys buy into cultural stereotypes that are patently untrue. Of course the women are dealing with their own misconceptions, like this fatherly man will help her family who are living in poverty. Things can really go bad when everyone is disillusioned.
The best thing you can do for your father is give him a reality check, There is no beautiful woman, half his age, who only wishes to serve his every desire obediently as she shares his modest home and income without any demands of her own.
@daloon Never! I’m sure George Clooney is waiting for me to retire so he can dump those supermodels and bring me to Italy. He’s only waited this long because he didn’t want to interfere with my teaching career. Dreams AH!
If you believe these dating site sleazy and he is dead set on using one, maybe you need to investigate which one has good reviews and way under the radar of the BBB. Tell him to be vigilent and stay in public places. Or devise a way to bring one he likes here instead of him going there, at least if it works he saves money one a jet trip one way at least.
Just as much as there maybe some gals there just seening a nice Yankee money bag, I am sure a lot of men here go there to be “Cap’n save a ho” and get them a woman they can sex up because they feel she owes them for saving her from a life of poverty. That sword cuts both ways.
In the end if you nag him and seem like you are trying to mind his Ps and Qs he might shut down and not listen at all.
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