Should flow/rhythm in a relationship come naturally or is that something you have to work on and it will come over time?

you have to work on your flow.

I’ve always felt like it should come naturally. If I have to work too hard at it with someone, I’m just not interested. You either mesh, or you don’t. That said, it’s not going to be easy breezy all the time from day one. But it shouldn’t be a constant struggle. IMHO

I don’t think people should waste their time trying to create flow within a romantic relationship because there is always someone else who will flow with you with a problem.

The relationships I’ve had to work at have never lasted. The ones that come easy, that me and my partner just seem to click together, last much longer.

Isn’t part of the whole flow notion the lack of work involved? That is not to say that a good relationship won’t have bumps and turns and things, but that working with and around that other person should come naturally, and have an ease, a fit to it.

The best relationships I’ve ever seen are the ones where the partners are attune to each other as if having had been childhood friends, though they only met a few months ago.

The flow will develop and evolve on its own… you can’t force it to go where you think it should, but your choices will impact its course.

I don’t see a developing relationship as being either one or the other. You can’t really force it to be something it’s not, so go with the flow, or rhythm, but it still requires work, in the form of always thinking about what effect your actions or failure to act might have. You need a balance between doing nothing (flow) and doing all you can (work).

It’s a process. I felt comfortable with my now husband right away, and he with me, but that did not solve every issue or prevent misunderstandings.

I can look back and see several points where we almost broke up. It was a combination of our continued attraction to and friendship with one another along with our willingness to keep working on problems rather than walking away.

That said, if we were not in harmony in terms of our rhythms and flow, I don’t think we would have made the effort.

What is flow?