Like the sunscreen song: "Forget the insults, remember the compliments. If you know how to do that, let me know...?"? Is this possible?

In another thread, my esteemed fluthees LexWordsmith and Anatelostaxus (don’t you love copy and paste) had this banter, which made me ponder:

“Oh! Excuse me, I didn’t realize I was in your way!” and the woman said “No, no, you’re grand, you’re brilliant,” and I said to her, “Please tell that to my wife.”

Every time I am insulted, offended, injured and hurt by someone, inadvertently, or indirectly (read: backhanded compliment, or “no offense but…”, I wish I had a magical (read: Matt Browne) device that would have someone who loves me, or thinks I’m “grand” or brilliant – actually pop up – maybe a hologram like Carrie Fisher, and say: leave Brad the fuck alone – he’s actually (place compliment here).

Now wouldn’t that be nice?