Why Won't My Old Friend Answer Me on Facebook?

She may have said that she has no hard feelings, but I’d guess she still does.

Just curious, you’re how old dear?

I say, if a friend is gonna be upset that you being pushy they’re not good enough to be friends. I usually only bother the hell out of my friends if there was plans. This, sounds as such. If she never answers, move on.

I had a similar situation. I was best friends with this girl in h.s. and after years of not talking (for reasons neither of us could even remember) I decided to get the weight off my shoulders and apologize for whatever I had said or done to hurt her feelings. She acted all excited and apologized too. However, every time I have run into her since, she has still been snobby and uncivil. So i guess what I am trying to say is you need to be the bigger person/be friendly/apologize/do whatever you think you need to do. Put the ball in her court. It’s her turn to put in the effort. If she doesn’t follow through, then she isn’t worth it.
Don’t stress yourself out about it. Some friendships just aren’t meant to work. And I’m sure there are many people who feel blessed to be your friend.

@Sarcasm ouch, I hope not.

@Zen I’m sisxteen

@Axemusica yeah, if it was any other friend, I would have long forgotten and moved on entirely, but she is the best friend I ever had, and I really miss her, she was like my sister.

@mramsey yeah, she should put in some effort if she wants to be friends, and I will just continue to look out for a message from her, but if not then I guess I’ll just forget about it. No, there are not many people. After we stopped being friends I notice I am a lot more quiet and have a lower self esteem, and I don’t open up and let loose anymore like I used to. I don’t have many friends anymore. I’m a different person now that shes not around, and its because I’m unhappy because I have no one to really have fun with and talk to anymore.

@desiree333 Thank you. It’s nice to have some kids around and keep the place fresh. I have kids older than you, who would disagree with the term kids – no offense.

@Zen Thanks, do you mean no offense because you think I would be offended by being called a “kid”? Because I’m not, I am a kid, although I am very mature for my age and I guess I sohuld be called a “adolescent”, or a “young adult” :)

@desiree333 Well, I hope everything works out!!

And remember, don’t let this girl be your identity. It’s great that you are willing to fight to keep your friendship with her but if she is not, then move on to bigger and better things. Don’t be afraid to break out of your shell and make your life the best it can be.

I’m not saying you can’t be sad if things don’t work out but don’t let it break you. You can be GREAT with or without her. I’m sure you will make some awesome friends in your life..just give it time.
I only have a few close friends..and they are the people I left to hang out with that girl I mentioned above. If only I knew then, what I know now! I would have appreciated them more.
I hope your friend realizes you are willing to fight for her and she gets back to you soon. Best of luck!!

@desiree333 If she was your bestfriend and she was really meant to be your bestfriend she’ll be back. I thought I lost my best friend nearly 8 years ago, but we’ve been talking about everyday now and he’s one of the main reasons why I’m thinking about moving back to be closer to him and his family, since it’s the closest to one I’ve ever had.

Just three days? People get busy and absent minded. Try not to take it personal. Like @Axemusica said, if she was your bestfriend, she’ll get back to you.

She might have blocked you while she was angry and is now not receiving your overtures.

@mramsey thanks for the good advice, I hope I do make some good friends, and maybe she will wirte back, but I’m going to try to not worry about it.

@Axemusica wow eight years? we have only not been friends for almost a year now. I think she will write something at least, after all I think I deserve to at least know how she feels, and if she even has any interest in talking to me.

@jonsblond yeah, I know 3 days isn’t long but I wanted to know if she has maybe seen it, so I looked at her profile and she changed her status and some other stuff meaning she must have at least seen that I messaged her. Plus shes been on msn a couple of times, so she must have read it by now. Maybe shes just thinking and deciding on what to say.

@DarkScribe I don’t think so because we were messaging each other a while ago, while we were apologizing to each other, so I don’t think she has me blocked.

When friends have a falling out it’s often very hard, if not impossible, to be as close again. This doesn’t reflect poorly on either of you, it’s just life. You’ve both changed, grown, and have new lives now – at least somewhat.

It kind of sucks, but it’s good to remember that some friends are truly forever and some good friendships only last a finite amount of time. It’s hard to know which are which until you spend time apart.

I’d wait to let this person get back to you, you’ve reached out to them already. Let the situation alone for a bit and make sure you’re spending time with the friends you have now.

@desiree333 ”@DarkScribe I don’t think so because we were messaging each other a while ago, while we were apologizing to each other, so I don’t think she has me blocked.” so, it wasn’t in person? the apologies I mean. This makes the question have a little more sense, but anyways…

You say you’re 16? Well, by the time we were you’re age we were already friends for 5 years. We were best of friends for a total of 8 years and that was 8 years ago. Funny, I gotta tell another friend about this, He seems to think 8 is a revolving number that constantly pops up in life everywhere, weird, lol.

@Amurph exacly, this was my point. See @desiree333, we had a falling out due to him changing so much. He’s now recognized that was the reason why I moved on and has changed more maturely in a way kind of like he was when we were friends. We’ve been talking a lot and I’ve been moving for years and really having found what ever it was I’ve been searching for. So, I’ve decided to finally go home to my stomping grounds. I didn’t think we’d ever talk again, but he tracked me down and it’s like we were never apart. We still talk as though we just saw each other and oddly enough he’s always been one of the only people that I can keep a conversation going with, lol.

Having been on the opposite end of the kind of situation, I felt that sending me a facebook message was a “cheap” way to try to reconnect with me. It takes almost zero effort, and doesn’t feel at all personal like a phone call or a face-to-face meeting. I understand that if you can’t see the person face-to-face, you have to communicate with them somehow to arrange that, but people don’t always think about that. Also, she may still be trying to sort out exactly how she feels. That was another reason I didn’t answer my friend’s message, I just didn’t know what to say. Why don’t you try calling her?

It’s most likely because they likely don’t want to talk to you now.
Yes it sounds harsh but that’s what the Facebook world does to us. It connects us with people from our past and subsequently creates uncomfortable moments. If your friend from back in day doesn’t respond to your Facebook messages, you have to move on.

@Axemusica Thats exactly how I feel, give it 2 weeks tops and I honsetly think it would be just like we were never apart.

@Amurph I have grown, but only in a good way, other than that I’m not such a happy-go-lucky person anymore. And yes, I remember not really wanting to be her friend, but after spending time apart I think our friendship would only be stronger because we have grwon, matured and learned from our mistakes (well I can only really speak for myself)

@La_chica_gomela I really really don’t want to call her. Maybe I would have called her before, but not now that I’ve already sent her a message and she has not yet rsponded, I would feel like I was being pushy and bugging her, and sort of desperate. You are right, a message is quite impersonal and it does feel a bit like I’m not putting in any effort. Yet at the same time, I think we have to talk little by little. I think it would be more appropriate and comfortable to message her, and if all goes well, call her and make plans or talk. But how awkward would that be calling her:
“hello?”
“hey ____ how are you, this is Desiree..”
-awkward pause*
“oh, hi….how are you..?”
“um good, how has your life been for the past year?, Anyways wanna hang out?”

Ummmm no thanks too awkard for me. I’ll call her once the ball starts rolling, right now I’m waiting to see if she even wants to talk.

@desiree333: I guess what I had in mind would go something like, “Hi [name of BFF], this is Desiree. Listen, I’m really sorry about that fight we had a long time ago. I wish I hadn’t said those things. I feel really bad about it, and I miss you.”

Then she says “oh it’s really okay” or “I feel bad too” and then if you’re lucky she says “I miss you too.”

Then you say “Hey do you want to to go get a coffee together or something on saturday?”

Then she says “yes!” Desiree shoots, she scores!

But of course since you’re the one in the situation and actually know the person, you should do what feels right to you.

@La_chica_gomela yeah, I’m not going to bother her and call her until I know that she actually wants to talk to me. Good advice though, thats what the gist of the conversation will sound like when I call her after she messages me.

Show up at her house and have the conversation in person.

just to let everyone know, she emailed me back, and say she wants to be friends again. We’re going to go see the final destination movie. :)

@desiree333 Good!! I’m very happy to hear that! Have fun at the movie. =)

@mramsey thanks, I’m so happy. :)

@desiree333 see a different movie, lol. Don’t fall victim to the corporate mumbo-jumbo.

Maybe because you try to hard to be friends and its overwhelming for them. Or maybe they don’t check their facebook too often and you are excessively anxious.