Have you ever succeeded in changing a core personality trait?

Which question do you want answered? The one in the title or the one in the body?

I, for one, have overcome my shyness.

Jeez, and I’m trying to swear more!!! The problem is that when I do swear, since no one expects it of me, it actually does shock them. Pretty hard. That’s what happens when you don’t swear.

However, I don’t consider swearing to be a personality trait. I’d call it a habit. Habits I can change. Core personality traits—not so much. I’m working on it, though.

One of my major personality traits that I’d like to change is my low self-esteem. Don’t get me started! That’s one place where I do swear! When I start thinking about myself and how worthless I am. Never mind.

I’m trying not to get bothered by the thoughts. Like you said, I’m not trying not to think shit about myself. I can’t stop the thoughts. But what I can do is to reduce the amount of attention I pay to those thoughts. I can “let it go.” So I’m worthless. Big deal. Let’s go fluthering! I can at least get some enjoyment out of thinking, even if my thoughts go nowhere useful.

Or better yet. I can stop thinking entirely. Go play some music. Or dance. Or get involved in some other demanding physical activity. Then I just get involved and I stop paying attention, for the moment, to all those fucked up thoughts. It works pretty good, too. Except when some jerk asks a question like this! Just kidding. It’s my own damn fault for being unable to stay away from questions that make me think about myself. Now where’s my horn?

I actually used to swear a lot and casually. As I moved up the corporate ladder and as times changed, it was not suitable. So I stopped.

You can do this. Use a reward/punishment system that really matters to you. For example, music downloads or something else, sports tickets.

I used to have sever anger issues. Horrid horrid issues. I just worked really hard. I talk to a counselor. I realized that there is nothing wrong with being wrong. And that I don’t have to win every or any argument. I also gained clarity as to what I looked like when I was away from my brother and dad, the people I credit for pushing me to become the way I was. Sort of do it to survive. When I would get back to visit I saw how ugly it was.

I think the key is to find what works. Having someone else, and outsider really helps.

You might augment it. But it all plays a part to who you are and will be.
So I would have to say no. Accept who you are.

To answer only the swearing issue, that is easy. Learn lots of synonyms and save the big ones for special occasions only

I agree with @daloon (~shocking, I know!~) Cussing is a behavioral habit, and can be changed. I’ve gone through phases over the course of my life. As @gailcalled suggests, expand your vocabulary to include more descriptors, and then when you do feel the need to use profanity, it will have a more profound effect.

Core personality traits, like shyness, pessimism and self-esteem can also be changed, but it takes a while longer to have those changes truly reach the core.

my promptness has sure changed. when I have an agreement to meet someone else at a given time, I usually show up on time, or early, versus late, and less breathless and tired than if I had procrastinated. before I would almost always show up late. one drawback: I get more angry than I did when other people don’t do the same. if I could manage it, why couldn’t they?

I think it’s possible to change any personality trait. It comes down to how much you want it and how hard you’re willing to work on it. Discipline is the way to go.

Let’s say you are an alcoholic (a core personality). You stop drinking.
Now you are a recovering alcoholic or an ex alcoholic.
Will always be one. Even if you never take another drop. Evident by the fact that it is best to stay away from the booze.
If your parent is/was an alcoholic. You are a child of an alcoholic and have the disposition of possibly becoming an alcoholic yourself.

I used to try really hard to fit in with my peers. And I never fit in. I don’t do that anymore because I realize that I’m not like them, and I don’t want to be like them. I also used to agree with everyone, to fit in. Now I actually voice my opinions.

When going to work, I put on my “straight skin”, I don’t swear if I can help and I too have very bad potty mouth, I dress well but conservatively, have a work walk and work posture, work face and work personality. Myself in my own time not so ladylike.

I remembered another trait that’s pretty major. I have an inner desire to do sexual things with many people. And I hold back because I know it’s not right. I’m sure If I didn’t hold to my Christian values, I’d be the city slut.

@Facade If it weren’t for your “Christian values” do you really believe that you wouldn’t hold back? Surely there is more to Christian values than that they appear in the Bible. I’ll bet you anything that if you had no Christian values at all, you still wouldn’t be the city slut.

I honestly don’t think I would. I don’t think I would have the “moral compass” I do if I wasn’t brought up with the morals my parents taught me.

@Facade: I haven’t had a Christian upbringing yet I have a sexual compass that has kept me from being promiscuous in order to respect myself, respect my sexual energy and share it only where it’ll be most appreciated. Yes, in my mind I’ve wondered if I’d enjoy to go crazy but when faced with the situations in real life, I passed them up. It’s possible to not need religion in order to be socially morally responsible.

I know that. I just know how I am. If it sounded like I was saying that non-Christians have no moral compass, I apologize for the misunderstanding.