How can I become more confident?

Join the Army.

@Swervy, welcome to fluther.

I see that you have listed these fields of expertise in your profile: Ancient History, Soccer, pets, HSC. (I don’t know what HSC is.) Are you really good at any of these things, really skilled or knowledgeable—an expert, in fact?

I can relate. I’m a very introspective person. At one point I had myself convinced that I didn’t need people and that I would never change anything about myself to fit in or be accepted.

Then I realized that I’m a social organism just like every other human. I realized that I was only hurting myself by avoiding people. Not everything has to be absolute, belonging to one extreme or the other. You can have friends and be social and still maintain your individuality.

It’s not a choice between being a loner and being a social puppet. It’s learning to balance the two: sharing commonalities with a group of people in some way or another and still being an individual and staying true to yourself.

One of the bottom lines for me was that I had to learn to completely screw my comfort zone. If something was comfortable that meant it was familiar. And that meant that I wasn’t learning or experiencing anything new. You have to learn to stick it out through the awkward feeling of leaving your comfort zone.

Reading “How to Win Friends and Influence People” helped me a lot. It basically conveyed to me that you must show legitimate interest in other people if you want them to do the same to you.

I’m still a work in progress, learning how to be more comfortable with myself in new situations with new, unfamiliar people. I have, however, gotten better.

It makes sense why they’re called “social skills.” Skills are learned. With skills you progress. Sure, there’s a natural component to being social but ultimately everyone can be social. You just have to get out there and try it. See what works.

Good luck to you.

I was like this too and still am to an extent. Offer to babysit for someone or get a dog. Being out and about with a kid or dog always leads to conversations. Although you may feel uncomfortable talking to strangers..the more you do it the more relaxed you’ll become. My 18 month old niece came to live with us and I got a puppy. Now anytime I’m out I am put into situations where I have to make conversation.

Do your therapists/counselors regard you as agoraphobic?

Well, at the beggining of high school, i was a freshmen, so pretty awkward and shy, but every year, i just kinda relaxed a bit and talked to people around me. At first, i just didn’t care much about others around me, nor did i want to make any conversation with them….. but every year i just kinda started making little talk to random people, and i realized it was fun making a ton of accquaintances, now i’m a senior and really comfortable with pretty much everything. Strange how i was more energetic out of school all the time than in the school. Join some clubs or sports if you want to overcome it and you’ll get used to the changes and start to like it…. haha.

Well… Umm… Geeze I don’t know…. I guess talk to people?geeze I hope not to many people read this…

Read lots of books and become knowledgeable in many fields.

im very shy too. its terrible being shy. I am only very outspoken when I am drunk or when i am too tired to think about anything. I think most people are shy because they are afraid of how people may judge them.

The best way is forget about the people, say all you want, don’t care what others say,