Is there friction between gay men and gay women?

No.

Not that I have ever witnessed as a general thing. Most gay men that I know have lesbian friends and vice versa.

Yes they do.
Next time you go to a Gay celebration.
You will find these back room, basement gatherings.
Where Male and Female Homosexual fight it out for sexual supremacy.

Not that I have ever seen. It is our sexist society that insists on separating homosexual people by sex. My sister doesn’t use the term lesbian to refer to herself or her female friends of the same preference, just the word gay for both men and women.

I wouldn’t say there’s friction, overall, but the socializing patterns and opportunities tend to be different. Also, while there’s a lot of overlap, enough to find political common cause, there are also a lot of differences politically—more so in priorities than in anything els.

So they’re two separate communities that have a lot of overlap.

Ok question…

Gay male couple has a child.
Gay female couple has a child.

Both couples have good jobs and are on their game.

Which couple is more equiped (emotionally and physically) to raise the child?

I know there’s some tension when it comes to Bisexuals, but I’ve never heard of general friction between the Gay and Lesbian communities.

I’ll say it, some gay men hate women. In my intro to LGBT Studies class we talked about the historical separation between the gay and lesbian communities. One of my LGBT teachers talked about how during the AIDS crisis in the 80s gay men became very dependant upon lesbians and that the aid of the lesbian community helped to bridge the gap between the men and women.

@ChazMaz – That depends on the two individuals in each couple and the dynamics within the couple. Certainly a female is better equipped to breast feed, but that has never been a requirement for raising children.

@ChazMaz: based on the information you’ve provided, it’s impossible to say. The lesbians have an advantage, because if one of them carried the child, she can breastfeed. But there’s no innate nurturing gene that women have and men don’t.

@tinyfaery: And some lesbians hate men, too, but that doesn’t mean in either case that it’s a widespread derangement.

So you would see breast feeding as the only advantage?
How about the mother child connection thing? Especially if they carry the child.

After watching my husband with our children, I would say that there is also a father child connection thing. Many men report that the instant they see their newborn they fall in love with the child. This seems to be true with adoptions as well.

:-)

It depends on the people involved, really. My mom (a lesbian) dislikes men, gay men doubly so. She calls them nasty names. I always wanted to have her realize that, ‘Hey, we’re all in this together.” And I’ve had gay male friends that call women things I won’t repeat either. I called them out on it once, and they said, “Oh, Laureth, we don’t mean you of course!” <sigh>

On the other hand, lots of gay men and lesbians get along like peaches and cream. Everyone’s different!

This is one of those general questions that’s hard to answer because no one answer will fit all situations. It’s like, “Do white people and black people hate each other?” Some do, some don’t!

Staright from the mouth of many gay men who went through the AIDS crisis in the 80’s: Had it been women who were struck with the disease I’m not sure that gay men would have come to theh help of their sisters. I’m not saying that some lesbians don’t hate gay men, but to compare them is like saying men are as eqally victimized by sexism as women.

Am I really the only person who was tempted to make a bad joke about making friction?

@Jeruba absolutely not. I had to try really hard not to do so within my response

<Whew> Thanks, @Beta_Orionis. I feel better now and don’t have to say anything more.

@Jeruba – I, too, had to overcome temptation.

@Jeruba That makes 4 of us then. I could see the question was sincere and so resisted the urge.

No.

I’m gay and, although I do not personally know any lesbians, I feel they are part of the same overall community. Lesbians and gays are different subcommunities, I think. But they’re still brothers/sisters in the whole.

@ChazMaz: I don’t think that there’s anything inherent in women that makes them more nurturing, and I don’t think there’s anything inherent in men that makes them less nurturing. The mother-child and father-child connection develop, for the most part, after birth.

I’m pretty gay (and don’t really object to being called a lesbian), and while I have more lesbian friends than gay male friends, I do certainly have both and love them all. There was no antagonism in my undergraduate community either – the lesbian clique and the gay clique tended to party together actually. I know does exist in terms of the world, though… my uncle (a gay man) told me once that he’s kind of afraid of lesbians (not including me!). Haha. Also, in terms of big GLBT organizations, the upper echelon CEO-type people tend to be mostly gay men or mostly lesbians. Hell, this usually happens even in small GLBTAs. Where I did undergrad, the GLBTA e-board almost never had a guy on it. I don’t know why, but it’s something that I’ve noticed.

I think people make assumptions about groups no matter the sexuality – just because someone is queer doesn’t mean they’re exempt from being completely ignorant or sexist or gendered about others…I find that many in the mainstream lgbt community make assumptions as much as the next person about what a proper gay man is or a proper lesbian woman is…and I do see that bisexuals aren’t accepted and trans people less so…that’s because people who don’t fit neatly into the straight or gay box threaten both worlds…

anyway…back on topic…in many ways, though this shouldn’t be, gender gets equated with sexuality and many think gay men are feminine and gay women are masculine…for some this is true, for some this isn’t but they try to align themselves with the ‘culture’ anyway, and for even more others it isn’t true at all and it’s harder that way…but the point I am making is that the stereotype of a gay man is one that is interested in feminine things and for a lesbian who wants to be a ‘proper lesbian’ (there is no such thing) it would make sense to distance herself from the seemingly meaningless and ‘flamboyant’ and sexualized world of the young privileged gay men…and some gay men, stereotypically, are ‘pussy-terrified’ and are wary of people with vaginas that are really interested in other vaginas…

there is a lot of bigotry out there…plenty of chances for all of us to feel isolated…it’s very sad…

Is there friction between gay men and gay women? No. Friction is caused by two objects rubbing against each other, and I don’t think that happens a lot here.
(Couldn’t resist, @Jeruba )

I have a true story that is barely related to this. This took place in the 1980’s.
My coworker/friend Kent was gay. He and his partner were long time companions, and faithful.
Kent’s sister was gay, and she and her partner wanted a child together. They decided to ask Kent to impregnate his sister’s SO, so that it would be genetically connected to both mothers.
Kent asked his partner, who reluctantly agreed. Kent wasn’t thrilled about it, but wanted to help his sister.
His sister and her partner asked Kent to take an AIDS test, and he did. He was clear.
They tried to procreate several times.
During a pregnancy test by a doctor, he found she had AIDS. She had been an IV drug user, and had AIDS long before the deal.
Kent was now infected, and died less than a year later.
Yes, he was bitter.

It’s too hard to generalize about any community as large and diverse as the gay community.

@filmfann What?? Ummm… Whatt???
I’m sorry, but does anyone else see the problem here? There is no way Kent could have gotten AIDS in that way. Unless they are all morons.

Kent was not a moron. His sister’s gf was.

Then how did he get an STD by donating sperm?

@caroj Ummm… Read more carefully?
He “donated” his sperm in the traditional fashion. Kent had sex with his sister’s girlfriend several times in an effort to impregnate her and provide the couple with a child.

@Beta_Orionis I do understand the logistics and do understand that Kent had sex with his sister’s girlfriend several times but do not understand how that doesn’t make Kent, along with all those involved, a moron.

Well, we don’t understand why you think them moronic. Care to explain your reasoning?

Well, in general, were I just to hear the phrase Kent had sex with his sister’s girlfriend several times, I would think the Kent in question was a moron who’s just out to get his jollies. In this specific case, however, several things bother me:

1. He’s in a committed relationship.
2. It’s his sister’s girlfriend.
3. Artificial Insemination is a possible and commonplace option.
4. He’s gay, and I assume would want to explore any other option than having sex with his sister’s girlfriend.

I give up. We’re off topic anyway, and I just give up.

@caroj
1. He and his partner obviously discussed this very carefully
2. And?

3. Remember, it only became commonplace towards the end of the 80’s. Maybe they didn’t have the money for such a procedure? Maybe they were afraid of being refused? Maybe the procedure only legally allowed the use of sperm banks and not new donations from involved individuals? There’s any number of hypotheses, and their solution was a bit unusual, yes, but that doesn’t make the individuals involved or the whole idea moronic.

4. His sister asked him. With such an argument, if you’re very close siblings, it’s difficult to say yes, but also hard to say no. But you’re also forgetting that sexuality exists on a spectrum. Just because he identified as gay doesn’t mean he would have been absolutely horrified/disgusted/incapable of having sex with a woman.

how can you give up? You’ve posted less than a handful of very short responses [3 (not including this last one) to be exact,] the first and second of which indicated that you didn’t understand the entire situation and merited the responses they received. If you did understand the logistics, why would you even ask “Then how did he get an STD by donating sperm?”