Support groups can help people achieve their goals. I’ve been in several. They told us that infertile couples who participate in fertility support groups are more likely (I don’t remember how much more likely) to have children than infertile couples who don’t. Similarly, people with bipolar disorder have found support groups to be very effective in helping people stay healthy. I believe that there is evidence showing that cancer patients in support groups survive longer than those who don’t.
Support groups that I’ve been in have provided advice. We help each other think through our issues and provide information that the other people may not have. In my current bipolar support group people seem to be pretty open. Not always at the beginning, but if they come long enough, they start to open up. It can be very helpful to be around people who have the same problems you do, and who understand.
I don’t know about the data regarding 12 step programs. I don’t know if there are non 12-step programs for people dealing with alcoholism. I don’t know what the definition of quitting is that @Zuma is talking about. However, I am pretty sure that support groups—even those of the 12 step kind—have other benefits besides helping folks to quit.
They may help people stay away from alcohol longer, even if they don’t help them quit permanently. They may help individuals build friendships and raise their self-esteem to some degree, depending on how they work. They may just help folks feel less isolated, or like they are the only one with this problem. I think that’s useful.
The group may not help you change behaviors you’ve had for 35 years. However, they still might be helpful to you. It doesn’t sound like they do any harm, anyway.
And you don’t have to go to a 12-step support group. There are other kinds. Hell, you could go to a book group and get the same benefit, I’m sure. Maybe even better, since you wouldn’t necessarily be hanging out with other people who have the same issues. Although there would probably be more temptation.
Frankly, I think that alcoholism and other addictions are signs of an underlying pathology. I believe that if you deal with that, you’ll be much more able to break free of alcoholism. I’d spend my time trying to understand the pain that drives you to drink, and then see if I could find a way to deal with that pain that does not involve alcohol, or doesn’t involve as much alcohol.
Therapy is good for that. There may be other medications that would help, if you have some kind of mental illness. There are other support groups that can help you deal with underlying issues that have no specific focus on alcohol issues. To me, alcoholism is a symptom, not the problem. If you only deal with the symptom, you can’t get rid of the need to drink. If you deal with the problem for which you use alcohol to medicate, then you might have a better chance of kicking the addiction.
As always, I could be wrong. I’m just an amateur. I’ve never been addicted to substances. I do feel I am addicted to certain activities—fluthering among them. At least fluthering seems to have a better cost/benefit ratio than alcoholism does, but I don’t know that for sure.