In a second marriage, what is the same, different or better this time around?

I remember thinking that there would never be another love for me in my life and I buried myself in school and work often painting very dark themes.

Because of the pain of the loss I grew emotionally. I also had no problem being alone and did not need anyone.

By the time I met my current spouse I had matured enough to realize and cherish the new relationship and see how different and special it was. As we got to know one another I realized that I had found a love deeper than I had ever imagined and a trusted soul mate.

My thoughts overall- learn from failure, admit your shortcomings and work to correct them, and when the right girl shows up recognize and nurture the relationship. Do not let fear stop you from grasping the golden ring. Embrace NOW and let go of the past.

I haven’t taken the wedding vows a 2nd time but I have had a few longterm live-in relationships since then where I was very careful of saying things in anger or hurt. The biggest lesson I learned during my marriage is that just because that’s your spouse, maybe your best friend even, you can say a thing one too many times and hurt them to the point the relationship changes. Love may still be there between you two but the dynamic of being a couple changes. I never wanted to see my relationships suffer by my hand again.

I think that without the experiences of my bad marriage, I would not have known how to make a marriage work.

If something happened to my spouse, which I sincerely hope it does not, I wuld not marry again.

Ha Zen, I just noticed the Elizabeth Taylor topic! If I had married them all, I’d be four down and romancing my current “future ex-husband”, it’s been his nickname for a year now.

I’ve only been married once, but my husband was a widower when I met him. Like @Dog, he believed there would never be another love for him in his life, but then we were introduced and he decided he was going to marry me long before he said anything to me. Apparently he told people at work the next day that I was the one. We have used some of his experiences from his first marriage to try to avoid some of the same problems this go round.

He is ill these days and may die soon, so I have considered whether I would marry again. At this point I can’t imagine doing so, but who knows what the future may bring.

Who was it that called remarrying the “triumph of hope over experience?”

@Brahmaviharas: I don’t know who made the quote but it makes a whole lot more sense to say, “remarrying is the triumph of experience over hope”.

@Darwin Sorry to hear. I hope he recovers. May you know no further sorrow.

@Brahmaviharas GREAT! Lurverolla.