If your kid’s friend wants to change gender should the school allow it or would you pull your kid out from that school?

Teaching children that they should run from unusual situations is not a good way to raise compassionate, understanding children.

Geeze. Being upset over this as a parent, in my own opinion, is akin to being upset over something like, “Oh! One of the kids travelled to Europe over summer vacation? WHY WASN’T I INFORMED?!?!” (in other words: ridiculous. Why should you care?)

Children that grow up sheltered from “scary” or “controversial” issues (after they are old enough to have a chance to understand them) seem to have a harder time adjusting to the “scary, controversial” world after they are allowed to leave the nest. Parents can’t be a kid’s eyes/ears/censor all the time.

As for whether or not a school should “allow” such a change – if it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen whether or not a school “allows” it.

Not sure if I really trust The Sun, but I’ll still answer the question

I think parents have no right to know what the hell is going on in some strangers life. Yes, they were told and should have properly informed their own children of what happened and yes, kids will be curious and ask questions…just answer them! Running away from it and lying about it will not help the children understand.

You guys are fast! One of the reasons I asked is because two weeks ago people were threatening to keep their children at home so they wouldn’t have to see a black man on television. Controversial issues are often tolerated as long as it doesn’t affect you or those around you.

@casheroo I agree, the Sun has a certain reputation, however these stories were copied straight to Dutch press. Not that I trust them, but stories like this do travel all over the world.

Of course the school should “allow” it! People will just have to learn to deal with it.

I can hardly believe it is allowed to undergo a real sex change at that age, I recall a similar story in De Volkskrant a long time ago about a boy that wanted to be a girl but not being allowed to undergo surgery until he/she was an adult by law. That was in the Netherlands, of course. By the way, it said nothing about uproar at the school – and I don’t really see why there is here. It doesn’t really do them any harm, and they’re bound to walk into more extraordinary issues.

And of course that story about the black man is even more ridiculous. I can’t imagine anyone having a happy life if they’re worrying about stuff like that.

@markyy Yeah because Dutch press is always trustworthy, like the quality papers De Telegraaf and Sp!ts and Metro and the likes ;-)

It’s none of my business.

I might actually have to go all Ayn Randian here: people make fusses. The greatest among us ignore them.

It shouldn’t be up to the school to decide, but the child and his parents should be prepared for him/her to be teased to tears every day until graduation. This may not happen, but they should be prepared. I would definitely not pull my kid from school, and I think it’s a ridiculous notion.

As a parent, I would think that being informed of such a big change would be beneficial because I could talk to my child about it beforehand. Not to shield my child from it or anything, but just to tell him that he may encounter someone who is different and that it’s not a big deal, the student is still a person just like him, etc. On the other hand, I wouldn’t be outraged if I didn’t know. It’s not my business unless they family wants it to be. I’d just deal with it should a situation arise.

In elementary school our teacher talked to us about a kid that would be joining our class who was different, and I think it benefited us greatly. He had a severe speech impediment. We soon learned that he was the nicest kid in the world, and I thought he was a cutie.

Apparently some of the parent’s from that school are not that comfortable with the situation and feel left out in the dark for not being told about this in advance.

Umm.. too bad. It’s none of those other parents’ business what choices a family makes. What if a girl came back to school pregnant? Would they feel bad if they weren’t tnotified about that too?
Pulling your kid out of that school seems so ridiculous to me. You’re going to interact with all kinds of people in this world – transgender, bisexual, tall, obese, racists, idiots. Are you going to pick up and move every time you meet someone different? That seems like a crummy message to be sending to those kids, but that’s just my opinion.

I don’t think it’s any of the school’s business, nor any of the other parents’ what gender someone is.

What is gender anyway? Is it what the body presents? What the mind posesses? What about intersexed people? I think the that all the rules about gender are in the process of getting significantly changed. It’s not just black and white anymore. There are a zillion different shades of grey in between.

Its none of the other parents’ business, nor should the school forbid such a student from attending. However, children and teens can be horribly cruel so there would be a very strong possibility of relentless teasing and bullying. Any parents who have a child that is transgendered need to work very hard to prepare the child for the reaction of other people to the change. It might be less injurious to the child to switch schools, especially down here in Texas where folks seem to have a fear of anything unusual relating to sex or gender.

Besides, our school district was one of the ones that opted not to show Obama’s speech, even though we are a strongly Democratic county.

I don’t see why it should be any of my business what other kids do with their lives. It’s complicated enough as it is, both technically and obviously psychologically (I imagine there was a lot of talking and it must have been a very hard and complicated decision for both the parents and the child). The last thing these people need is someone like me complicating things even further with my nosiness. No, I should not be told, though of course it may be useful to be informed so I can prepare my own child about how to deal with it. (having said that I assume those kids probably got teased a lot more before the sex change anyway).

I agree with the Fluther community. Parents that have the dramatic-shock reaction to this type of news… cause all sorts of harm on all sorts of issues.

I would try to do what would be in the best interest of the children. If they were not emotionally equiped to deal with the consequences they should be moved. A sex change operation is not something one “does” over summer break. Most adults who do it are required to spend months on hormone therapy coupled with psychological counseling. I find it hard to believe two children would be allowed to make such a life changing decision in such a short time frame.

Although I agree that it is the parent and child’s decision as to whether other people know. I feel it’s only fair that something like this should be discussed openly with parents and children alike before the child returns, as ignorance can lead to prejudice and if a child returns as a different gender then people are going to notice and the unknown could become confusing or frightening for some children, if they haven’t had the process explained to them properly.
I find it hard to believe that this has been allowed at such a young age, however, life stories are big news and sometimes sensationalism for sensationalism sake is used.

My only hope is that the child in question is not being used by their parent to become a news story, as that would be very sad for all involved.

I would support my son’s decision to identify with his friend, and share my dresses with him (we’re about the same size anyway).

I hardly think any doctor is actually going to change the gender of a 9 or 12 year old just because the kid wants to change! Would you agree with giving a 9 year old a vasectomy because he’s pretty sure he won’t want kids when he grows up? There has to have been some underlying medical issue, such as Ambiguous Genitalia. I think it’s easier to form female genitalia than male…however, my only criteria would be whether the child felt they were male or female. I wonder if they can even know that at 9 years of age?

And to answer the question, honestly, if my child changed gender, I’d change schools. I’d probably move so the child could begin a new, normal life without having to worry about being bullied and teased because of it. Hell, I changed schools when I held my daughter back in 3rd grade because of the possibility of her getting teased. I can’t imagine what a gender-changed child would have to deal with, for the rest of their lives in that school district.