Am I wrong in being a bit uncomfortable about my girlfriend kissing other women for work?

I would not be comfortable with it. Kissing is intimate regardless of reason- but that could just be me.

What theme park is this? It sounds unlike any theme park I have ever been to.

I’d give the specific one, but I think that might be too many details, I’m already having second thoughts about posting this at all :x Though I do share the same belief on kissing, @Dog.

Forgive me if I am wrong on this. But to me it seems like she is baiting you for a reaction. Does she often drop emotional bombs on you then when you react she becomes offended or turns your reaction around to make you think your normal reaction is abnomal? I ask because she is seeking hidden meaning behind a very normal reaction to a very off-the-wall question that any boyfriend or girlfriend would reel at.

Frankly I think you are being an over-controlling crybaby. Are you her trainer? Does she need you to run every aspect of her life? Work is work, and one does what one must. Actors and actresses who are married and have kids are sometimes required to do nude love scenes with other people. They do it because it’s in the script. Get off her back, get over yourself, and try to resolve these crypto-sexual jealousy and control issues you seem to have.

@Dog That was my initial thought as well too. I even said during the conversation about it saying “Either way I answer this I’m digging myself a hole, I see that. You don’t have to switch, I’m just put in an even further awkward/tough position because what would be going on isn’t clear”

@pdworkin No, but I won’t deny that you do hold a valid view. The whole point of the matter is she came to ask if I would be comfortable with it. Which I should’ve seen as a loaded question to begin with and avoid the whole matter. It’s not a matter of control issues, while I will admit I do have a tad bit of jealousy about it- if she hadn’t brought it up and came to me about it then I would agree with you completely.

If my partner came home and told me he had to start behaving in a sexual fashion with other men or women for work, I would suggest he get another job or a new mate.

@Syger – Let’s see, are you an ass for reacting naturally? No. For asking a question? No. For NOT doing or saying anything against it? No. Relationships are ongoing. As such you come across forks in the road and you need to address. This fork seems to be is she someone who does this type of thing to bait you and get all dramatic so as to put it on you. Almost like she can’t decide so she wants to use your reaction or lack of one as an excuse.

@pdworkin Kinda harsh there, buddy.

@Syger How you feel is how you feel. There really isn’t a ‘right’ way to feel about this at all. I don’t see anything wrong with you asking for clarification about the activities she’s expected to take part in. I think it was mature of you not to ask her to switch out of that area, even after admitting that yes, it does bother you. Do you really need this drama? Long distance drama at that?

@augustlan I had told her to keep the position and try and inquire what exactly it would be she’s expected to do, but that seemed to further drive her irritation. (Why bother asking me in the first place then? :[ ) It’s not so much the acting that would bother me as much as the lack of clarity on what would be going on. (Also thanks again for your thoughts, augustlan :) )

Weird job.
It sounds like you know what you want to do.

Honestly, it could be anything, as another poster pointed out, she may be baiting you. If this is a habit of hers, it’s fairly immature and you should consider her response in that light.

Then again, maybe she’s into it and brought it up as a safe way of exploring her own interests. Your reaction may have just been a pinprick at a subject she’s insecure about and may have been looking for reassurance that those kind of behaviors outside of the context of your relationship are fine. If she doesn’t make a habit of crazy, I’d think this was likely based on her reaction to yours.

Only she knows.

When she grows up and stops being moody about the subject explain to her that your reluctance came from your ignorance and hers as to what the acts expected of her are. That you want to support her, but you need to know for her sake and yours where this would be going and clearly outline your specific concerns for your relationship as well as for her wellbeing. You can make a decision at that time with all of the information available to you both. Whether or not either of you like it, this kind of thing affects you both.

Beyond that, there isn’t much you can do. It’ll go where it goes from there.

I think @Syger is using Fluther to develop a story treatment for the next CW teen vampire program. Make sure he gives you all contributing writer credit.

Oh @augustlan, I know! I am a crabby old curmudgeon!

@galileogirl: Was that humor or a nasty quip aimed at someone else’s personal problems?

Because it definitely came off as the latter.

jeeze, get some sleep. it was just a joke. you’re crabbier than I am.

I’d start looking for a new girlfriend.

I just want to emphasize what Augustlan already pointed out.
Your feelings are what they are. There is not any kind of universal “supposed to” regardings feelings. Whatever they are in any given situation is. There isn’t any SHOULD about feelings.

Right now your predominant problem is confusion about the lack of specific info about what will be required of her.

Once more info is given you will know how you feel about it. Then your decision isn’t one of how you should feel but rather what your actions and decisions are about those feelings. Do you act in accordance with how you feel or do you squash down those feelings for the good of the relationship. No one can tell you how to feel, not even her.

Did she have this job which sounds interesting btw before you and her started seeing each other? I agree with others on here that say you can’t help the way you feel but a job’s a job and if you can’t handle certain aspects of it and she isn’t willing to change her job for you then maybe you’re not meant to be together.

You can’t really expect her to give up her job for you (and it doesn’t sound like you have asked her to do so) so if you love this girl, providing there is honesty and trust in your relationship, you may need to learn to accept certain aspects of her job. If you want to be with her that is.

I’m so surprised that no one has mentioned how hot this girl on girl vampire action sounds…or maybe that’s just me being insensitive?!?!

Obviously there are two differing points of view about these job requirements. Some folks think it’s “hot” while others have reservations about it. As was pointed out, kissing IS an intimate act.

This is different from acting roles in films in which this is required because actors and actresses are told upfront exactly what will be required and if it’s something with which they are uncomfortable, that don’t apply for the role.

This job seems to be throwing this in later on and even they recognize that not everyone is comfortable with it and have the option to switch to a different section. So, it’s not as if she would lose her job if she decided to opt out.

If I were placed in that type of situation in a job I wouldn’t be willy-nilly enthusiastic about trading spit with a bunch of strangers just because they happen to be working at the same theme park as I.

Can anyone say SWINE FLU?

Hello? And there are other plenty of other things passed around thru kissing from the common cold to herpes. I seriously doubt that job comes with a fabulous health plan.

People are going to be on both ends of the spectrum on this and that should be their absolute right. No one should be reluctant to express their reservations about this and that includes the person most likely to be kissing the girl involved. It affects him also both physically and emotionally regardless of how hot the action is or isn’t.

I wouldn’t be cool with it.

I don’t think your feelings are wrong at all. Kissing someone else when you’re in a relationship isn’t right, no matter what the reason.

I’d kibosh the kissing of other people for my SO, job or not. What it sounds like to me is a passive aggressive this:

“be shocked, give me a reaction, tell me you care about me more to say you don’t want me with anyone else but you, tell me you don’t desire to have me and another girl at the same time, give me something more in terms of what our relationship means to you”

@asmonet A cheating bi gf who works at a PG vampire strip club???? It’s got Heidi and that prat Spencer written all over it.

Speidi! My favorite! I got to see Lauren on Runway! She was a judge!

@galileogirl Actually; I looked up the section of the park today, and it was given an ‘R’ rating all previous years and now holds an ‘MA.’

Huh? Sounds like your trip to the park left you lost in the woods.

Really, really want to know where this park is. PM me if you care to share.

You’re not even reading the facts here. As far as we know she is not bisexual, and it is not PG – so get started on being helpful or get the hell gone.

@asmonet you are really turning me on.

I’ll say this: When I worked in films and TV, many, many, many actors’ SOs would come to set on days where it was “Essential Personnel Only”, so you’re not alone in your feelings about it. I imagine that actors’ SOs have a talk with them beforehand about their feelings on such things, but then they have to let it go. Whether or not an intimate scene ends up becoming Brangelina is out of the SOs hands and they simply have to trust their partner.

She asked and you told her the truth. And as you say, you didn’t say she couldn’t do it. But for her to berate you for being uncomfortable with it, in essence trying to make you justify your feelings, or to not even try to put herself in your shoes, that’s the “alarm going off” bit to me. A person feels what they feel. It’s neither right nor wrong.

@Syger So… how did this whole thing turn out, by the way?

@augustlan
She had gotten her position changed, now she just stands in a room and jumps out at people. I’ve no idea what she’s wearing past heels and a skirt though. She said she likes this position better, which is nice cause I prefer it too. Though due to all the smoke and such she’s developed pneumonia but is still going to work there disregarding what her doctor had said. Thanks for the concern to check up on it. :)

@Syger She obviously values your relationship enough to listen to your concerns even if she did make you feel bad for it. I am pleased for you :)

Thanks, @Leanne1986 :)