What can I do about a forbidden crush?

What do you imagine the ethical and moral thing is to do? What would cause the least amount of harm? What would do the most good for the greatest number of people? I think you know just what to do.

No offense, but your boyfriend should be worried by it. You thought it was enough of an issue to tell him, after all. If it was really a simple little crush, you could have blown it off and not felt the need to tell him in the first place.

You probably shouldn’t stay with your boyfriend. Not with the kind of feelings you have for one of his closest friends.

If you feel that strongly about someone other than your boyfriend, that ought to clue you in to the possibility that your boyfriend isn’t really the right person for you. Whether you ultimately end up with the one you have a crush on or not is beside the point… you boyfriend, as nice as he sounds, isn’t the right match for you. Listen to your gut.

Well, only you know how you really feel and what the right decision is. I’ve been in the same situation, except my boyfriend at the time got pretty bent out of shape about it, and rightfully so, and we ended up breaking up. It sucked at the time but it was for the best in the end. Good luck.

You did the right thing in telling him.

You were mature enough to realize a potential train wreck on the horizon and came clean. You should not feel guilty unless you go back to him.

If it was me II would tell him that you need time to sort out your feelings.

Time will help you choose which direction to go.
You may find that the attraction to his friend wears off or it may be that he is not attracted to you. You also may find yourself rekindlling passion for your boyfriend. But in order to really know you need time alone to clear your head.

I have a penis.

He is probably really pissed off and will dump you once he finds a replacement. You are just something to fuck now.

haha I love this dude @johnpowell

You did the right thing in telling your boyfriend, but his report of how he feels does not sound right. He should be concerned. Imagine the situation reversed. Suppose that it was he who had a crush on one of your friends. How would you feel? I agree with @juwhite1. Your feelings are an indication that your boyfriend may not be the one for you.

I agree with @LostInParadise and @juwhite1. It was the right thing for you to tell your boyfriend about your feelings for this other guy. You do need to consider that if you were completely happy with your boyfriend you probably wouldn’t have developed feelings for another guy, let alone one of your boyfriends friends. I think you need to sit down and figure out exactly what about your current relationship isn’t making you happy. You need some time alone to sort through your feelings. This just happened to one of my close friends, except her boyfriend finally decided to propose to her thinking he could win her back that way. It worked, she decided to marry him and cut off communication with the crush. But I will tell you like I’ve told others, this is probably a mistake. Luckily your situation hasn’t progressed this far, but don’t let it get to that point. My friend is just getting married to get married. You need to figure out what you want in a relationship and accept that your feelings for this other guy could be a sign that you two aren’t meant to be, I wish my friend had considered these things instead of jumping into marriage.

@pdworkin: just said my two most favorite things about living your life. Do the least amount of harm as you make your way

Is your bf better matched with someone else other than you since you were distracted by another so much that it became an issue to discuss and gamble the hurt and trust of your bf?

If you pursue your bf’s friend, what will come of it? Will you all be a closer group of trusting friends?

Maybe he’s not threatened because he also loves his close friend. Maybe he’s bisexual. Maybe he’s interested in a threesome. Maybe he believes in free love. Maybe he thinks there’s room in life for you to have two loves. Maybe he just isn’t jealous.

Still, I’d talk to him and have him give me a convincing explanation as to why this doesn’t threaten him. I’d make it clear that I really want to be with the friend. I’d also say that I want to do the hard thing, and not be with either of them, because you don’t want to get between a friendship.

If he still reassures you, or tells you what he really wants, or says he doesn’t mind sharing you, you can decide what to do at that point.

I can’t tell how old you are, nor whether sex is involved in your relationship. You also don’t say whether you’ve agreed to be exclusive, or if that is just assumed. If you are merely dating, then it might not be a big deal to date both of them, or even go on dates as a threesome. This is difficult to imagine, I’m sure, but it could be possible.