For the women out there: When did you decide or feel the urge to have children?

For me the urge to have children began occurring after I already had my first child, weird…

I have no such urge.

I plan to have kids, (and that’s if I ever, ever want children) when I feel like my life has settled and I know this is what my life will be for well, the rest of my life. Who knows when that’ll be? And second, when I feel like I’m ready to take care of another life. I’m still a kid!

My clock slowly started kicking around age 20, and is letting more and more urgent as I spend time in a great, stable relationship and rapidly approach 30. I can wait a few more years before I start imaging dancing babies though. I hope.

There was a question similar to this a few months back, but there’s a new crowd so I’ll answer again.
Since I could remember I would catch this random thought pop in my head saying, “I want a baby.”
it would be there at the oddest times, even when I was a child myself.
When I found out I was pregnant with my third child, the urges suddenly stopped.
These days I just fing myself anxiously awaiting the next grand child. They’re even better!

Honestly, I know it sounds cliche, but it was right around the time I turned 30.

For me it was a dual desire. I have always wanted children. When I was just a toddler I carried a baby around pretending to mother it and just always felt that way. But when my “biological clock” kicked in it was completely different. I felt it. I’ve always paid attention to children but when it kicked in it was like I couldn’t stop thinking ‘baby’. That is when I had a serious talk with hubby and we decided to try to get pregnant. I was about 24–25 when this happened. I think for each person it is different and it doesn’t happen in everyone. I say relax and enjoy your life. No need to be like your friends. It is much better to let the desire kick in before you think of having children.

I was ambivalent through my 20’s, then at about 27, the biological clock kicked in and over time, I gradually started craving babies. I’m 32 and seriously can’t wait to have one, but want to wait until I graduate first.

Puberty
Probably before that I suppose, I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t want to someday be a mother.
I have 4 children, and probably would have had more if I could have managed it financially.
Women differ in their mothering desires and instincts. Some have a strong desire to be a mother, some none at all. There is a vast range of feelings on the subject.
I suppose the timing of said urges varies as well.

I hadn’t thought much about it until that darn pregnancy test came up positive. Best surprise ever. My husband and I decided early on we wanted to have another baby, but waited until we bought our first home. We thought we were done, but life had one more surprise in store for us. Tie for best surprise ever, once I got over the initial shock and horror. I guess I always thought I’d have kids “someday,” but it happened sooner than I expected and I wouldn’t change a thing.

edited to add: I was 24 when my daughter was born, 28 when my first son was born, and 30 when we had our youngest son.

I felt the urge when I was 30. This is when my two sons were 7 and 9 years old. (obviously they weren’t planned, but I love them dearly) When I was 30 I knew that I really wanted another child. We were blessed with a daughter when I was 33.

i am 26 and i want one now, but i will never be able to. So there you go.

@airowDee I am sorry to hear that. Do you want to adopt ?

Also my urge to have a 3rd child is much stronger than was my urge to have a second

yes, adoption is hard unless I am Madonna, and I am not. Oh well, I don’t have money to care for a kid anyways. It’s just a pipe dream.

Foster care is an affordable segway to adoption and many states continue to offer financial assistance to people who adopt children from the foster care system.

@Judi because the kids are older and no one wants those that are older or ones that aren’t white…the whole thing is disheartening…but I, myself, would want a younger child…so that I can begin reversing the effects of whatever possible terrible things were done to them earlier…

I’ve already decided I want to have kids… someday. I have not decided when. (I’m 21, almost 22, fyi.)

thanks Judi.

I’ve always wanted children. I never had a moment where I thought “Now is the time to have kids” it sort of just happened. My urge for a second was stronger than my first. I do want a third, but I want to finish school. I’m sure my body will start freaking out when our second is two, but thank god for birth control. I don’t like big age gaps between children for myself but it’s a necessity now.

@shortysith Just so you know, you’ll probably feel more ready and able once you are settled with one person. When you find the person you want to parent with, it all falls together. It may take time, but you can wait together.

There was a time that my husband and I thought we were too selfish to have children b/c we enjoy our freedom so much (probably something we just told ourselves to make us feel beter since we didn’t think we could actually have kids anyway which was devastating at first) And then out of nowhere we both felt the urge to try to have one… so much of an urge that I used a fertility drug to get preggo! It was after about 2½ years of marriage, 3½ years together total. We’re 26 and 27 w/ our finances well in order… I think that sense of security helps a lot also.

Whenever I see a baby, part of me says “I want one!” even though I’m absolutely in no state to have one right now (I can barely support myself and I’m pretty far from being done with school) but there’s another part of me (the rational part) that’s scared shitless of having a kid. I’m trying to channel my maternal instinct into wanting a puppy right now.

I would also say that my thoughts of children and babies increased significantly when I lost my right ovary. It’s still hard to accept, but they say it’s still a possibility for me to have children one day.

its definately possible to get pregnant with just one ovary, haven’t you seen the character Miranda from Sex and the City? lol

I’m 21 and recently I began to want a child, but I agree with @La chica gomela, I also know that I am too young and too selfish to be a parent. I think it has something to do with all of my friends getting married and having babies, they really aren’t ready either, but in a small town that is apparently what you do for kicks…

I am 23 years old and I have no desire to have kids now. When I was in my early to late teens I would have definately said that I wanted to be a mum one day but for some reason, when I entered my 20’s that desire went away and, so far, it hasn’t returned!

@veronasgirl mother’s aren’t unselfish – they just take care of their kids and themselves

@Simone_De_Beauvoir, you have to admit that becoming a parent creates a major priority shift. It isn’t about you anymore, it’s about the child and they are the first priority, taking care of yourself becomes less important. I’m saying the right now, I don’t think I am ready to make that change.

@airowDee: Actually I’ve seen every episode of Sex and the City ever made (most more than once) and I don’t know what you’re talking about, unless you’re getting Miranda confused with her child’s father, Steve, who only had one testicle.