How do you 'let someone down' or tell them in the nicest possible way that you are not interested?

I won’t date you. It’s not going to happen.

Hurt his feelings now or leave him hope for something to happen and hurt his feelings later. It’s going to happen eventually.

Clean and surgical with no room for doubt. It’s the kindest way in the long run.

I would tell him that he is sweet, but you were under the influence and shouldn’t have put him in that position and you are sorry.

tell them a relationship isn’t what you’re looking for / can handle right now

“Just be honest” isn’t easy,but it gets the job done.

Brace yourself, tell him nicely, and then in future don’t kiss people when you’re drunk.

Tell him that you have decided to snack from the other side of the smorgasbord and ask him to come back when he has had the operation.

Or just be honest and say that you don’t fancy him that much. Whatever you say he won’t be happy, so make the first cut not just the deepest, but the only one. Don’t let it drag on.

You can tell him that right now you would like to stay single , so youd better be off as friends… nothing personal…

Its easy and very polite!!

Just be honest and sincere. There is no other way to do it.

Do you have to explain yourself? Why can’t you just say you don’t want to date him. If it comes to it you can say it’s not him, but other circumstances that make you unable to date him. No, you can’t go into those circumstances. Sorry.

If you have to explain, then you have to be honest. Sorry. You can’t get out of it. But I don’t see why you have to explain. No means no.

“I am not Interested” ?

I’d probably say that making out with him while drunk was fun, but that’s all it was.

but too elaborate…

you say it’s never as simple as ‘just being honest’. there’s the problem, you think it isn’t, but 9 times out of ten, it really, really, really is.

no matter how you put it you’re saying the same thing to they guy. so unless he’s an idiot, he knows that even though you go “you’re such a sweet awesome nice guy, but I just can’t handle a relationship with someone right now” it means the exact same thing as “sorry, I just don’t want to date you…” don’t waste his time, don’t waste your time, be straight foward and save everyone the hassle.

Lemme tell you from experience. A friend and I kissed while under the influence. I thought that we had something, he didn’t. We talked the next day and we told each other how we felt. He told me straight forward that he didn’t think of me in that way, but he still wanted to be friends. After the conversation was over I cried in my room for 10 minutes, and was on with my day. We hung out that night with other friends and it wasn’t awkward at all. In fact we are still friends to this day.

Just being honest, shows that you care about that person and you value the friendship. I think it is a better idea to convey that than unintentionally leading the boy on.

Send them an e-mail.

There might not be a way to let him down easy. Come out with it, and be direct about it. Don’t give him any reason to think you & he will ever be anything more than friends.

tell him about your nasty case of genital warts

Ya know, it could be a nice case of genital warts.

<——————————Not the best person to answer this

Honestly I would avoid him like the plague. I’m a terrible person :(

I would agree with everyone who said be direct and clear. Don’t leave any room for ambiguity with this person. I don’t think you need to belabor it, either call or email with a simple statement explaining that you enjoyed hanging out, but that there are feelings for anything beyond that. Thank him for the time you’ve spent and leave it at that. Don’t make promises about the future either – that leaves too much open.

Usually beating around the bush doesn’t work in this situation; nothing will be as clear and direct as “ehh you know, just not that interested”

You’re British right?

I just say this because this seems to be a prob with British women more than American women. My best friend (Brit) actually went out with a guy and snogged with him for hours…and she didn’t even like him. I was gobsmacked. “Why did you do that?!” I exclaimed. “Oh, well, I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings…he sort of expected that….I think….and he was nice to me.”

Geez.

Nice? I know a lot of nice guys, I have friends that are men and I don’t snog them. You can actually have a man-friend ( yes, that’s straight) and not have to exchange saliva with them. You can in the US, anyway. If a guy is NICE, just shake his hand, thank him and send him on his way….especially if you DON’T FANCY HIM. If not, you are going to get yourself into a quagmire…if a Brit guy fancies you and you don’t fancy him…but you KISS HIM…oh, girl…that’s it…he thinks you are together. (Okay, so US guys do , too….to be honest…)

So, what to do? Honesty….but NICELY.

” I really enjoyed meeting with you the other night. You are a lovely (nice, super, pick a word) person, but I really am not interested in a relationship and I’m sorry if I made you think that….and I can’t make dinner. But thank you so much for the invitation.”

Hold out for the right guy…..don’t kiss frogs. Sometimes all you end up with is…a frog.

I was going to say the same thing as @autumn43. To be honest the “nicest possible way” would have been to not make out with someone you’re not interested in, in the first place. But these things happen, and we live and learn. There’s no need to get into your personal details, but also definitely don’t say anything that’s not true, like saying you want to be single. If you meet someone you really like and start dating him a few days later, then young impressionable boy will be even more hurt.

I think you should just come right out and say, I don’t like you. It works for me.

@ChazMaz & jaketheripper Genital warts? thats a bit extreme – i just kissed the dude!
@DarlingRhadamanthus im not british – but Australian.
Thanks to all, but i kind of just avoided it – and it didnt happen. Unfortunatly i do live in a small enough town and i know i will run into him again – hopefully sober this time!