I'd like to get my art career going again, and also start having a social life, my partner doesn't seem to support either of these things, what do I do?

seems like the smart thing to do is to get rid of the partner

Well, I understand his not wanting to be around other people, but you haven’t actually said that he has a problem with YOU going out and socializing. And just because he doesn’t get it, you’re not supposed to do it? I hope that I’ve mis-read it and that’s not really the case. Maybe you need to speak to him like he’s four. “sure, you don’t get it, but look at x and y and z that you love so much! That’s art… I want to make beautiful things. What’s not to understand?”

If he still doesn’t support you, I’m afraid Simone is right…

I agree with @Simone_De_Beauvoir. You need to find a partner that shares and respects your interests. You need to assert yourself and tell him that this is what you are and if he doesn’t like he can show himself to the door.

If you are with someone who you are worried about “upsetting” when it comes to discussing your feelings, it generally means you are with a controlling douche.

Tell him to say goodbye.

Do you actually need his support to do the things you love? I know it would be easier to do with his support than without, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go right ahead and do it anyway. In a calm, loving way, explain to him that these things are important to you, and that it doesn’t really matter if he understands why as long as he understands that they are. Then proceed.

Does he not “support” these things as in he’s not totally gung-ho in participating himself, or does he not “support” these things as in he actively discourages you from getting back into art and meeting people?

I agree with Augustlan in asking yourself if you need your partner to be interested in your artwork in order for them to still be valuable in your relationship. Same with the socializing, if you want outside interaction and your partner wants you all to themselves then you two need to seriously talk about that, about compromising and sharing so there is no bitterness built out of silence or putting off doing what fulfills you.

You need no one’s permission to make art. Just do it!

As to socializing, try a mix of lunch with girlfriends, tea dates, and then going out but just the two of you. In the last case, you may not be seeing others, but you can still be out experiencing and doing things. Change your framework. Instead of asking your partner, tell him you are planning to go to x or y and ask if he or she would like to go along.

As things progress, you may feel like your partner is really holding you back or he may start to flower a little too.

One final thing: you did not express it this way, but if your partner is trying to control your activities and actually discouraging you from seeing friends and family, those are signs of abusive behavior. Get out fast.

Kick his ass to the curb and do what makes you happy.

What @Marina says. You might even consider taking art classes as a way to get to know some people, and eventually renting a studio together with some other artists and having a social life with them.

However, if your partner is trying to isolate you, as @Marina asks, then tell him it’s time to split up. Then leave.

Getting your art career going and having a social life really go hand-in-hand. It takes a lot of networking to get your name out there as an artist, and the more people you know, the better you will do. If you want to keep your partner and pursue your goals, you might just have to stand up to him. What he’s trying to do, isolating the both of you, is really unhealthy. If neither of you hang out with anyone else, it puts a lot of pressure on your relationship. If something goes wrong, you won’t have an external support system. (What if you break up? If you don’t see anyone else besides each other, you’ll both be really lonely afterward.) I also always hear that one of the first signs of an abusive relationship is the abuser isolating the abused from their friends and family.

There are a lot of easy things you can do to get your art career and social life started. You should start by taking an art class, or even pursuing an advanced art degree if you can. If you go to art school, you’ll meet a ton of really cool, unusual people, and you can form relationships with your professors which could be really important to your future career. You’ll also have lots of opportunities to begin showing your work. A lot of student shows, especially thesis shows, get attention from newspapers and the general public.

If you can’t go to art school, start by taking an art class, especially a portfolio-building class. Some art schools also have an annual portfolio day, where you can come in for free and get critiques from representatives of different art schools. (The Corcoran offers one in the fall. It’s REALLY helpful.) Your portfolio is a body of your best work that you will show to all kinds of people- potential employers and buyers, especially. You should also start volunteering for art-related causes, which will open the door for you in the future.

Another good class is grant-writing. If you learn to write a good proposal, you can get money for the government or from charities to create your art, especially for public installations like murals or sculptures. (Then you can send a press kit to your local newspaper about the art you just created.) Another great thing you can do is make a joint project with other artists, or reach out to local businesses about showing your art.

In all these things, it would probably be easier to have the support of your partner, but you’ll probably be a lot happier if you start your career and social life, with or without him. Start small with an art class, and maybe see a couple’s counselor about his issues. Good luck!

@Haleth Great answer! Welcome to Fluther.