What should be addressed in my therapy sessions?

Why are you there? That’ll be the first question. Don’t plan the session. Let it unfold. Don’t worry. It will.

If you’re going to therapy for a specific reason, take in notes. Otherwise, ^^^^Listen to Daloon.

Starting therapy is awkward, mainly because therapists tend not to start the conversation for you.

Presumably, you have areas in your life that are troubling you. You could list those areas.

You could also just talk about how you are feeling at the moment (or that day).

Therapy is a good place to just dump. Blurt out whatever is going through your mind. As you say things out loud, your “real issues” will bubble up. Your therapist will take a look at whatever you’ve dumped and help you structure it into something to work on.

Very important, I think, is to let your guard down and let your feelings bubble up while you are talking. I don’t really have to try hard to do it, but I make a point of crying for a minute or two if something makes me
feel sad. It helps the entire process along, and it makes therapy a sanctuary to release those feelings.

Don’t be too quick to judge, but your therapist should feel helpful to you. Not every therapist is for every patient, so just keep in mind that possibility. My most successful therapy has been with a guy who is something of a contemporary of mine and who gave me mental tools along the way so that I could address recurring issues myself once I had assimilated them.

@ ItalianPrincess1217: Thank you for asking this question. I just started two sessions ago and have the same feelings.

Don’t put so much pressure on this first session. This is the session in which you and the therapist get to know each other.

Is this even a person you want to work with for the long term?

Your issues that are taking you to therapy did not happen in an hour, and they won’t get fixed in an hour. Think of this as the beginning of a process.

Also, we don’t always know what it is important to say or focus on when we go to therapy. it takes time to get there.

Relax. Trust yourself and the process to unfold as it should.

I really appreciate everyone’s help. I was working myself up and getting so nervous about this session. But I feel a lot more confident now and I’m very hopeful. Thanks again!

Best of luck with it.

@ItalianPrincess1217 :: Maybe your last response was a good place to start. Let them know that you nervous and go from there.

A good therapist will want to know what your intentions are at least as much as you do, and will generally guide you during the first session, called an “intake” session, to help narrow the field for both of you. Therapy is a relationship; like all others it is subject to give and take. If you feel you need to be in therapy, you will soon get into the swing of determining what is important to bring up right away, and what can wait. Good luck in your adventure.

And if you draw a blank sometimes, it is o.k. to sit and be silent. Usually seeing the clock ticking and realizing the money you are spending, will get you talking again soon! I found therapy to be immensely helpful but some sessions are more fruitful than others. As with anything, you get out what you put in, but you shouldn’t stay long with a therapist with whom you can’t work well.

My therapist started our first (provisional) session by asking me to tell him about me.

Then after a while, I asked him to tell some appropriate info about him. We then decided we were going to be able to work together. He looked up two expressions I had used in his dictionary and found I had used them properly. First and last time.

(I still remember them…“ship of the line” and ” my mother hectored me.”

Your therapist will guide you, by asking what you hope to accomplish and other questions about what you expect to happen. If this is not the case, consider finding someone who can actually help with your personal expectations.

@YARNLADY: Many therapists do not guide you; they believe in presenting a “tabula rasa, at least initially. I came to mine because of severe and unremitting back pain. We both agreed that there were root psychological causes, but he did only some very gentle nudging for a while. It suited both our personalities.

And we talked very little about scoliosis or musce spasms

I appreciate everyone’s help. I attended my session yesterday and it turns out that the lady likes to talk more about her own life than listen to my issues. Is this normal? Or should I just move on to another therapist?

Try one more session and if the same thing goes, get out of there. Maybe it’s her way of making you relaxed but it sounds pretty weird to me. As I said, I’d give her the benefit of the doubt once but not wqste money on more than two sessions.

@ItalianPrincess1217 Move on now to someone that is a listener, not a talker. It’s your therapy session, not hers

I’d agree with one more session, but I’d be gone after that.

I’m on my second counselor. The first one took three calls during our first session then told me at the end he couldn’t see me for a month.

At first I thought maybe she was trying to show me how her life lessons can relate to what I’m going through but at the end of all her stories I realized it had nothing to do with my situation. And almost anytime I tried to talk she cut me off mid sentence and got off topic. I just find it’s unprofessional. I think I’ll give it one more session but I’m not very hopeful…

If you decide to move on, talk to the director of a behavioral health group or program. Tell them a little about yourself and ask for a recommendation. It’s like asking the principal what teacher would be best for you, and will probably save you a lot of effort.

@ItalianPrincess1217 That doesn’t sound professional at all. I’m not sure I’d bother with giving it one more session but that’s up to you.

Sorry… I’ll add that I had one therapist who was a talker. A few sessions in he acknowledged it and spoke about a patient who would
hold up his hand to indicate this therapist needed to shut
up. He didn’t come out and say that’s also what I should do, but merely told that story. In retrospect, I wasn’t assertive enough to use that as a rule, but regardless, I shouldn’t have had to work to overcome the therapist’s predisposition. If he was trying to teach me something, he would have been obligated to frame it as a lesson.

@Kevbo See that would be my issue…I don’t have a strong enough personality to actually tell her she talks too much. I just feel like I’m paying her to listen to ME. Not the other way around. More times than not I found myself nodding my head and saying “yep, uh huh, exactly” while she went on and on about her life stories! I was thinking to myself, ok when do I get to tell you why I’m actually here?

@ItalianPrincess1217 I’m like you. I wouldn’t feel comfy enough in the first or second session to say “Hey, I’d like to tell you this now”, instead I’d nod

…and really, do you want to be fighting for attention in your own therapy session?

Don’t waste your psychic energy or hard-earned money on another session. You have been very clear about her behavior; I am surprised that 1) she has any patients and 2) no one has ratted her out.

I’d send her a short letter spelling out what you told us. Your descriptions have been clear and depressing; maybe she can learn something from you as the door shuts. Be polite and terse. Move on, though, asap.

Just a quick note that it is not difficult to find a highly qualified therapist in most towns. I suggest looking for a Licensed Certified Social Worker, who has been trained in Cognitive-Behavioral techniques (nearly all of them have.)

LCSWs have to pass rigid requirements, have undergone a rigorous licensing procedure, must have at least a Masters Degree in Social Work with a concentration in clinical psychotherapy, are likely to offer sliding-scale fees, are likely to work in conjunction with local mental health departments to help provide medication if it is indicated, and are more likely to be patient focused than are MDs (Psychiatrists) who, nowadays, are mostly psychopharmacologists.

@gailcalled Great advice.

@ItalianPrincess1217 You could print this thread out & send it to her ;)

@pdworkin Thanks for the info!

@pdworkin To my surprise she actually is a LCSW! I think she may just be one of the few that slipped through the cracks. @Spatzielover That’s not such a bad idea!

@ItalianPrincess1217 That way she can get a grasp of how we as a group feel before, during and after our own therapy sessions