What story could mask a long absence from the workforce?

Are we talking about a mental health problem? If that’s the case, I can understand you being afraid to share that with potential employers, as some people will hold that against you. However, no one needs to know what type of health problem you had, just that you had one and have fully recovered from it. I think it might even be illegal to ask you for details about the situation.

developing a serious health problems and taking years to recover sounds more than plausible to me

I have done the same thing a few times. I go with my mom being very ill and I needed to provide 24 hour care for her. It is usually all you have to say. People don’t ask about what was wrong with your mom.

One could have received an inheritance and decided to stay out of the workforce for a few years to travel, etc. but now wish to return because it is more fulfilling to work.

However, I wonder if you have not talked yourself into believing that your situation is worse than it is. HR departments are limited as to what they may ask about health issues, and health insurance portability legislation protects you from disclosure.

I think the point is I don’t want to mention the health problem at all. So I need some other story to account for my time off. I think pdworkin’s response is the closest to what I thought people might suggest. But mentioning the health problem at all I think is a big no-no. However, pdworkin, you may be right that I have scared myself too much.

johnpowell, I don’t think it’s credible for a man to take a few years off from the workforce to take care of his mom. An employer would just say you’re not serious enough about your career.

Is there anyway someone else in the family can be the wage earner and you can be the stay-at-home cleaner, cook, handy person, marketer, gardener? If you think your health problems may re-occur and force you to leave the work force again, it is really unfair to your putative employer.

Simone De Beauvoir: the health problem is certainly a plausible story – especially since it’s true – but I’m more than likely not going to get a job if I tell that story.

gailcalled: My health problem will probably not return. But an employer won’t want to take a risk on me if they hear about a potential problem. So, no, it’s not unfair to a potential employer. What is a bigger issue is if I have to show up at your house begging for food.

Thousands of people plant gardens, raise chickens and rabbits, can, preserve, barter and skip the supermarkets as an alternative to earning lots of money.

What about the other suggestion?

This would be a lot easier if you said what said problem was or why you dont want to mention it. Dont worry, no one is here to judge you.

uberbatman: The exact nature of the health problem might satisfy your curiosity but I don’t see how it make things easier to understand. I think my difficulty with respect to potential employers is quite easy to understand. Let me know if there is anything I can explain better without getting into the details of my health problem.

gailcalled: I’m not interested in raising chickens.

It would also help to tell us what kind of skills and employment you are looking for. I agree that the cryptic nature of your question and your reluctance to think about alternative solutions makes it hard for the collective to help, other than to advocate lying

gailcalled: I’ve determined that lying is the best approach here. If you do not want to help me with that, no problem. I anticipated that type of response in my original question. You have the luxury to be concerned with ethics. I don’t right now.

@obodicle it would make it easier to understand because as i sit here, i cant think of a single health issue that would cause this much of a problem for you not to want to divulge it aside from maybe some sort of mental health issue, but as augustlan said, you really dont have to tell them exactly what was wrong with you, just that you had an health issue and your better now.

uberbatman: I can’t mention the health issue. Let’s leave it at that. How do you know more about this than I do?

@obodicle but whyyyyyy cant you mention it other than not wanting to? Thats what i fail to understand.

I knew a woman who broke her back and was in a cast for a year. And another who broke her back skydiving. (Not the same woman.)

Both are fine now.

For goodness’ sake, he/she doesn’t want to say what it is. Why on earth should there be any badgering?

Is there anyone in your family or close friends that you could have worked / interned under to learn some skills? If they share your concern, you might be able to get them to write a letter saying you took time off to intern, augment your skills, or adapt to a new work environment. A medical field might be the most plausible in the case of this story.

I know several people who have taken long stretches off of work to care for ailing relatives, as @johnpowell suggests. It seems like you’re flat-out rejecting everything that’s been suggested, without giving any information to help people help you.

Here is a link to the HIPAA regulations. You may be able to determine from their rules what could and could not be disclosed about your illness.

uberbatman: As I said, discussing the health problem is not an option because I can’t take the risk that an employer will disqualify me out of hand because of it. The reason I asked this question is to get help from the collective in coming up with a credible alternative story. If you don’t want to help me with that because of ethical issues with my approach, I don’t have a problem with that.

@obodicle: I think uberbatman was asking why you “can’t” discuss it with us. We’re just anonymous strangers on the internet. What’s the difference?

rabbitheart: Good suggestion. Thanks. Yes, I could ask a relative to come up with a cover story on my behalf. There’s always a risk of tripping up over the details. But that’s certainly an option.

If the OP doesn’t want to share the nature of the health issue with us, that’s his or her prerogative.

I’d also go with @johnpowell‘s suggestion, although iIf you think it will be perceived as too “weak” to take time off to help your mother, perhaps you could say your child was ill. My mother is taking time off right now to care for my little sister who just had surgery. It’s very plausible, and I don’t think that if you took time off because of a child’s illness it would be thought of in a negative light.

I repeat, is there no other wage earner in your family? And remember, that lying is stressful and very bad for your health. And you can live in a barter economy without raising chickens. (You know that.)

And I think that inventing a serious illness for a real or imaginary child would be foolhearty.

La chica gomela: The details of my health problem are not relevant to this discussion.

pdworkin: Thank you for the link. But you do realize that in the hiring process, an employer can make a decision to not hire you on so many grounds that they could easily justify not hiring someone with a previous health problem without appearing to do so because of the health problem. It’s easy to come with an excuse to not hire. That’s why I think the best course is to not mention the health problem at all.

I’m no expert, I just thought that might possibly be of some use.

fireinthepriory: That’s a useful nuance to think about. Making it about a direct family member certainly makes it more plausible. Thank you.

pdworkin: I appreciate it.

Ooh~ Did antone guess addiction?

Seriously, if you have saleable skills, start in the kind of organization that has opportunities but maybe not a lot of money to offer like a nonprofit or young business, then work your way into the corporate rat race

You could say that you tried to make a go of being a writer for several years and had decided that you were not going to be successful and were returning to the workforce. I get that occasionally on resumes – either several years writing a novel or traveling – backpacking around the world. Of course if you claim to have been traveling you could put your foot in it if you claim to have been somewhere and have no local knowledge.

I have spent twelve years of my life living on a ketch – not all at one time – and would just put that on a resume – off sailing. I was writing at the time so it worked out well. No one ever questioned the fact of it, although some were fascinated by the detail. Nowadays the cruising yacht fraternity is one of my areas of expertise in media.

Something that you could try: Honesty. Use a pseudonym and write totally honest letters of application using a different contact address. You might get a shock – maybe some people are more tolerant and helpful than you assume they will be.

galileogirl: That’s an excellent suggestion. Thank you.

DarkScribe: Backpacking might work although there’s a possibility that a HR person might consider such a person to be a “flight risk”? HR can be rather uptight about any stories that don’t fall into the predictable pattern of a career drone, depending on how stuffy your chosen industry is. But overall I think this is a good idea. Regarding the writing idea, I think that could work but one concern I have is the possibility of an employer asking to see samples of things I had been writing or things I had published. Especially if I say that I was working on this for several years. I think that would be a reasonable request on their part. Would you have any ideas for a possible response if they make such a request?

@obodicle Would you have any ideas for a possible response if they make such a request?

The same one most writers give. Not yet, I am not happy with it. I don’t let people vet my work until I am quite ready.

It depends a lot on the career “genre”. If it is creative – then that sort of thing is quite acceptable. If something a little more mundane – possibly not.

DarkScribe: Using a pseudonym and telling the whole story with a different contact address is genius. I have a tendency to assume the worst (as is probably obvious from this thread). But I also know that I have this tendency so that would be a good challenge to my natural pessimism. I could even be honest about the fact that I am using a pseudonym so that they do not throw out my application later when I seem to be lying about my identity.

“The same one most writers give. Not yet, I am not happy with it. I don’t let people vet my work until I am quite ready. It depends a lot on the career ‘genre’. If it is creative – then that sort of thing is quite acceptable. If something a little more mundane – possibly not.”

Yes, my career “genre” is a little more mundane but this is a very believable response nevertheless.

Whatever story you choose, I would suggest involving as few other people as possible. Preferably none.

Also, keep it simple and boring. You don’t want anything that is going to provoke interest. Backpacking around Europe for years is bound to garner some interest during interviews and follow up questions that could trip you up are likely. Something like, “There was a severe illness in the family that required my complete attention, but it is not longer an issue and not something that will reoccur.” If they ask anything else, just say it was a very difficult time and you prefer not to talk about it. It is the truth, but also implies something else – that a close family member passed away after a lengthy illness.

brilliant

I’m definitely a fan of the un-named family crisis – medical, or even generic. “A family crisis required my full attention for several years. It has passed – it will not return.”
Be confident in your statements about your ability to do the job -that you are committed to the proposed role. Answer the question and move on. When you convey that it is not open for discussion, and keep the conversation focused on your abilities, and what you can contribute to the organization, the interviewer will move on.
I have also seen more than one resume without many dates—just lengths of time or even just “more than 5 years experience at xxx” and “more than 10 yrs experience at yyy”. (this was for someone who was much older than the typical applicant). People change jobs, try out different things, and take breaks. I think it is less of a big deal now than it was 10 years ago. Good luck.

“There was a severe illness in the family that required my complete attention, but it is not longer an issue and not something that will reoccur.” If they ask anything else, just say it was a very difficult time and you prefer not to talk about it. It is the truth, but also implies something else – that a close family member passed away after a lengthy illness.

Good suggestion, Supacase. Thank you.

uberbatman: I assume you’re in agreement with Supacase’s idea. I wasn’t sure who you were referring to.

kozzer: “Be confident in your statements about your ability to do the job -that you are committed to the proposed role. Answer the question and move on. When you convey that it is not open for discussion, and keep the conversation focused on your abilities, and what you can contribute to the organization, the interviewer will move on.”

This is a good approach. Ultimately they are concerned about whether I can do the job. To the extent that I keep the focus on that question, I think you are correct.

kozzer: “I have also seen more than one resume without many dates—just lengths of time or even just “more than 5 years experience at xxx” and “more than 10 yrs experience at yyy”. (this was for someone who was much older than the typical applicant). People change jobs, try out different things, and take breaks. I think it is less of a big deal now than it was 10 years ago. Good luck.”

The whole thing is a big nerve wracking but on that last point I certainly hope you’re right. Thanks for the helpful feedback.

@obodicle yes, i was talking about supacases idea. Its vague but completely true.Brilliant :P

@uberbatman Yes, I think it’s on the money too. Glad we’re in agreement.

If you tell them the truth—not necessarily the whole truth, but enough to explain it, they may not hire you.

If they catch you in a lie, they will certainly fire you.

@cwilbur Between two options, not being hired is less desirable because of the urgency I explained earlier.

Well, I can do nothing but wish you luck in your deception, and hope that when you get fired for fraud it won’t hurt your future career prospects.

@cwilbur You make it sound like a certainty that I’m going to get caught for my deception. People lie all the time without getting caught.

Just as you make it sound like a certainty that you won’t get hired if you’re honest.

It’s your call to make. I hope the money is worth it.

@cwilbur True. Thanks for the food for thought.