What's a dealbreaker for you in a new relationship?

If she turned out to be a dude. That would do it.

If I learned she poops and/or pees and/or farts. That’s just gross, women shouldn’t do that.

Religiosity.

A guy who is macho and thinks the woman should do just about everything for him.. I don’t think so.. I like to treat my man because I want to not because I have to.

Racism, bigotry, snobbery.

religious zealotry, having to wear makeup all the time, and an adversion to any of my core beliefs.

Racism, homophobia, hatred.

oh, and if she was a moderator on Fluther, that is a definite deal breaker, oh hi, @augustlan, I didn’t see you come in.~

<shakes fist at @evelyns_pet_zebra>

smoking.

I had a friend whose stepfather compulsively stole things (little things, like bags of candy or squeegies from gas stations). I can understand seeing through a person’s faults, but that would be my dealbreaker.

In a new relationship, so many things…

religious fanatic, stupidity, or crackhead.

Too many to list. We’ll just generalize most of them into “ignorance.”

Too much weird stuff too soon, before you get their “vibe” and all. You gotta ease into it.

Smoking. They can be Mr. Perfect… but if they smoke cigarettes, no second date. Period.

Definitely being a smoker is a deal-breaker.
That’s how I’ve come to stop being attracted to a lot of different girls in my classes, seeing them go out for a smoke break, or noticing that heavy smoke smell on them.

Ignorance including, but not limited to, religious fanaticism.

I’m going to have to go with smokers too. That would cancel out any chance of a lasting relationship. Smoking is just unattractive, smelly, unsightly, and unhealthy.

back hair is one, seems reasonable. others include but are not limited to:
Snaggle tooth
obsession with small dainty ornaments
obsession with large quantities of stuff animals and/or unicorns
foot fetishes (I don’t care, feet are gross, I don’t want them on my wedding tackle)
mysteriously stinky (we’ve all encountered this, you just meet someone, and you can’t quite figure out why they smell like pumpkin and wet dog when it’s june, it’s weird, it’s confusing, and really just distracts you away from paying attention to what they’re saying)
finally and perhaps most importantly: common sense. you don’t need to be a philosopher or a rocket scientist, but knowing why it’s stupid to ask a running where he’s going is required. we all have brains, and we’re all capable of using them. common sense takes nothing more than patience and attention to detail, not having that trumps any other redeeming qualities.

I’ll add smoking too. I used to smoke but I can’t imagine being with someone who smoked. I wouldn’t want to kiss someone like that.

Lots of things, if she didn’t think Seinfeld was funny, or had never heard of the show. A lack of opinion about anything in general. Unwillingness to broaden her horizons, such as refusing to entertain new ideas or philosophies. And I dunno just boring and complacent mind set.

Religious or other superstitious beliefs. Getting a vibe that I’m expected to fill some certain role before he even knows me. Pride in ignorance.

If he couldn’t get along with my family then he’s outa there!

Really religious.
He can’t speak his mind.
Doesn’t protects what’s his.
Smokes cigarettes.
Ignorance.
Is just plain stupid.
Horrible Hygiene.
He’s a macho.
Disrespects.
All he thinks about is sex.
those and more are all big turn-offs and deal-breakers.

Smoking. “kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray !”

Excessive drinking or drugging. I had no choice but to endure it as a child. Now I’m an adult and my single life lesson for dealing with addicts is simple: Don’t.

<< Smoker wants to cry. :’(

I just want to know why some folks go around licking ashtrays. :^>

@augustlan i feel like an outcast in this thread. :-/

If he was too sex-obsessed, if he was rude to me or other people frequently, if he hit me, if he smoked tobacco sorry smokers :( or did drugs beyond alcohol and weed, if he decided to let his hair grow long, etc. Those are just a few I can think of right now.

In a new relationship I’m wiliing to give the benefit of the doubt to just about anything, and wait and see what happens while I try to really get to know the person and understand any “faults” I might not agree with. I suppose a real deal-breaker might be someone who spoke in terms like “I would never date someone who….blah blah blah…...

I would never date a smoker, a crackhead, a jesus freak, and thats about it. or a morbidly obese person. sorry.

Ignorance. If the guy had no regard for his health, I wouldn’t want to go there

Everything @ABoyNamedBoobs03 said plus smoking and I can’t deal with drinking or drunks so if he likes to have a couple of drinks everyday, that would scare me away.

And most important of all, if he doesn’t like my dogs, that’s it, no hope for this alliance.

I am very anti smoking, and anti drug, but I have dated smokers and drug users.
I thought the dealbreaker was self-obsession, but my wife is quite self-obsessed.
The dealbreaker for me is someone who cannot be faithful.
A couple of my early gf’s wanted to be players (in today’s term). I suffered thru it then, and after a lot of pain, I finally rejected women who did that. It might have been the healthiest thing I ever did for myself.

If my significant other uses the ‘f’ word, that is to say, if he forbids me from doing anything. My current boyfriend agrees with me. Even if we don’t like what the other does, we don’t forbid each other. Along the same thread is jealousy. If he’s a jealous guy, I’ll kick him to the curb.

That happened with a guy I was seeing right before my current boyfriend. This guy got angry at me for talking to other men and getting their phone numbers. he freaked out, got angry, and I sent him packing.

All of us Fluther smokers should start our own smoking is not a dealbreaker for us clique. ~

@evelyns_pet_zebra I’ll puff to that. ;)

Too much perfume & makeup. Long fancy painted fingernails kills it as well. Come to think of it, high maintenance in general. Any woman who wouldn’t roll around in mud with me, is not someone I want to date.

Someone who doesn’t enjoy sex and/or is a lazy, selfish lover.

@evelyns_pet_zebra and @ABoyNamedBoobs03: I’ll join that club. I don’t care as long as he doesn’t smoke in my car. I put that ban on my own mother and she understands that if she does, I’ll kill her.

@KatawaGrey lol no worries, I don’t even smoke in my own car…

When I did smoke, it was never in my own house or car. That was an outdoor activity.

@evelyns_pet_zebra & @ABoyNamedBoobs03 – It is not that I dislike smoking or smokers, I did it for years and would love to start again if it weren’t so damned difficult to stop. But honestly since I stopped I can’t stand the smell of smoke on someone’s breath, smoke on clothes doesn’t bother me, it is the breath smell. I never noticed it when I smoked.

I also hate the smell of stale beer or alcohol.

I just seem to have this overly developed sense of smell and it is a curse!

if he is rude to waiters. I think it says a lot about someone in how they treat people at restaurants or grocery stores and things like that.

@shortysith if he is rude to waiters.

Yes, if he is rude to waiters you would be much better off without him. It means that he must have little intelligence and no imagination to anger someone who spends time alone with your food before serving it.

Last minute canceling/forgetting about plans. Drugs or pot. Smoking isn’t necessarily a “deal breaker” but a big turn off. Lack of ambition or wisdom. Rudeness/inconsideration. Lack of transportation.

If, only by the time the “dating” has turned into a “relationship”—which admittedly takes a bit of time—I suddenly realize the other person smokes, I’d probably reflect on that which had eclipsed this fact (a bait and switch approach?), but also reflect a bit longer, because if I hadn’t realized that entire time, they musn’t do it an excessive amount, and considering I am now in a relationship with them, they are probably quite attractive to me generally/awesome, and why not be in a relationship with someone who occasionally smokes but is totally rad.

If he suddenly said something to me like, “I just never really liked Jimi Hendrix” that’d be enough.

Sorry @cyndyh, then we can’t be together

@Sarcasm: Does that mean I should look you up if I’m ever single? :)

Of course. I hate the nasty “f” word too.
“forbid” makes me feel dirty.

@Sarcasm : That’s probably best for both of us then. :^>

@Sarcasm: I am honestly appalled at how common and accepted it is for people to forbid their significant others from doing things and seeing people.

I’m glad I don’t have to worry about dealbreakers. I already got a deal! and a better one than I ever could have imagined!

@daloon: Awwwwww!!!!