If you ask someone why they haven't called lately and they say "I have a life" how would you feel/respond?

I would be upset and disappointed because that is a rude response, imo. I probably wouldn’t call as much either.

Some people insensitively use that phrase as another way of saying “I’ve been busy”, without intending any offense.

I would be taken aback. The person is probably extremely stressed and busy and frustrated. I wouldn’t call them again, honestly.

I think I would say :-( .

And then I would laugh. Because they would be joking, I expect.

It’s an extremely rude response.
The expression seems pretty direct though. At the one particular moment in time, they didn’t want to talk to you.
Try again in a few days. If they’re still that aggressive, maybe you can talk about what is bothering them.

I get a little mad because I feel as if they are saying, “I have a life unlike you”.

I would be shocked to have any family member (or any friend or any acquaintance or even any stranger) speak to me that way. I imagine I might answer something like, “Until now I thought I was part of it.” Chances are it would be a long, long time before I called again.

(Edited, thanks @TheCompassionateHeretic). Time to find a replacement friend, or have a serious talk (with a family member).

I would wonder if the way I phrased the question was in some way accusatory and put them on the defensive.

My mom used to say things to me like, “you never come over” and “you never call.” I would apologize, but in my head, what I couldn’t say to my mom was:
1) there is nothing to do at your house,
2) you only want to gossip about people,
3) I am really busy with work and small children, and it would be easier for you to come to my house,
4) I am short on time, and don’t have time to chat on the phone unless you don’t mind me calling after 11:30 pm.
5) You criticize me all the time, and I feel really bad about myself after talking to you.

@mirifique We don’t get to replace family members.

I think that was rude for your family member to do that to you. But Always remember we can never replace life. So cherrish them even when they come off as buttholes. Just call on special occasions like birthday/christmas etc…They’ll eventually get the picture and probably apologize for the way they talked to you.

@LuhvKiller Very good advice. Family is very important, even the buttholes!

I would take the hint.

I would feel lousy because the implication would be that their life does not have room for me. That is hurtful and for anyone who loves you to say that is very inconsiderate and unkind.

I am not sure what I would have said. Probably, “Oh. Well. Okay then. Bye.” I would not call back for a long time.

For family members to actually say something like that, could be an indication they have a lot of stress going on in their life. It is rude and hurtful, but if it’s out of character for the person to be this way, then I would chalk it up to being overwhelmed. You may have to do all the work with maintaining the relationship for awhile.

And, yes, I do have mother-daughter issues. I have talked to therapists about it. It’s still a hot button even after all this time.

I might say “Oh, I had one of those once and I didn’t like it”. That’s what I say to people who tell me to “get a life”.

I’d be ‘good then go live it’ later-click

Ignore this person, they are a snob, and do not deserve you’re attention or your missing them. Write them off.

I would say, “And I have other friends.” and hang up. They obviously wasn’t worth your time.

Not for long, mofo.

“I wasn’t aware you were in a state of non-living before. My apologies, how rude of me.”

“By the way, I slept with your girlfriend.”

* click *

@Grisaille “By the way, I slept with your girlfriend.”

Come on, if you are going to make it an insult, at least match Bill Cosby (Adults only version.)

“I was going to sleep with your wife but the queue was too long.”

Well played.

I’d have to know more and the tone and also what your relashionship is/was and how exactly you phrased your question..even with the most easygoing people in the world ..words are powerful things that are often misused and misunderstood…from the info you’ve given i’d say I might be ticked off as maybe it kinda means “I have a life and your not part of it” on the other hand depending on how you phrased your question it could also be a bit of “I have a life of my own to lead and its not my job to keep you happy and updated”...if that makes any sense? If it were me I would have perhaps asked how they were doing as opposed to demanding an explanation for their lack of contact