What is the timeless appeal of romantic fairy tales?

Because kids like the story about the pretty princesses falling in love

Bruno Bettelheim’s theory is that it allows the discharge of anxiety over archetypal issues in what seems like an atmosphere of danger, but is actually safe.

My favorite is Beauty and the Beast, probably because the heroine saves the hero. :D

But I have a feeling that part of the reason why Cinderella (and similar) fairy tales are the most popular with girls is because of what we budding anthropologists call “gender roles”. Basically, by the time we start reading these fairy tales to girls, they already have received the message that they aren’t as strong/need saving, and the boys are the ones who can do that.

(I didn’t receive as much of the “gender role” thingy until I was past my formative age, which could explain why I prefer Beauty and the Beast and similar fairy tales to Cinderella and Snow White.)

I think some kids are entertained by things the don’t know are out there – fairy godmothers, princesses, knights on horses, wicked step moms. I always tuned out way before the end of the story – i was amazed by the other stuff.

Because they always have happy endings, unlike real life.

Because every girl wants to know she is deserving of genuine love. The guys who are drawn in are typically those who are more interesting in love than lust, and hope one day there morals will do them good instead of setting them back as usual.

@pdworkin mentioned Bruno Bettelheim. I remember reading his book on the subject, but I only remember a few things from it. http://www.amazon.com/Uses-Enchantment-Meaning-Importance-Psychology/dp/0140137270/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254740809&sr=1-1 I do highly recommend the book. I remember that he said that stories about wicked step-mothers and evil giants were ways to address psychological issues that children have in viewing their parents. Young children have a hard time understanding how someone can be pleasant one moment and not so pleasant at another. In Cinderella, the evil step-mother and the good fairy god mother represent two aspects of the child’s view of its mother.

This probably pertains more to teenagers than to the little kids who are the target audience of Disney fairy tales, but I suspect it is partly about the fact that in those stories a young girl is able to act solely on emotion and she’s right, no adults can tell her she’ll get over it or he’s not the right guy, she follows her raw feelings and they take her to the man she lives happily ever after with. I think that’s basically appealing to kids (but even more so to teenagers) because their world is all about strong emotion and less about thinking things out and waiting.
Also, Disney has done wonders for these stories with high production values and marketing skill. Try as you might, your child will be bombarded with images of Disney’s princesses.
And finally, it’s like any story that tries to deliver a specific message (see Christian rock music): when you start from the message, you end up with something forced and hackneyed. You have to start from the story.

Something to keep in mind is that some fairly tales have their origins hundreds of years ago, meaning that they have withstood the test of time and must have some primordial appeal. Being trasmitted primarily by word of mouth from one generation to the next allows them to evolve in a direction that is most appealing to children.

I’ve heard that fairy tales appeal to children because they are a means for children to begin to understand the world. Kids of course come into the world knowing nothing about it. Consequently their unfamiliarity with the world renders it magical to them. Fairy tales, with their simple plots, archetypal characters and affirmation that the wonder and magic a child senses in the world is part of the world excites and stimulates children as they begin to explore a world that, to them, is as magical, exciting and sometimes scary as the world in fairy tales.

Maria Tatar has written a few books on the psychological and social significance of fairy tales. Sadly I haven’t gotten to her more recent Enchanted Hunters which deals specifically with the importance of fairy tales to children. I did enjoy reading one of her previous books though.

I think Cinderella speaks to the hopeful side of humanity on a universal level. The protagonist is consistently put upon by her family (and who doesn’t feel that way at least some of the time?), she goes behind her guardian’s back (who doesn’t at least want that sometimes?), with the help of an ethereal being who turns ordinary things into priceless things (could be analogous, and definitely desirable), pretends to be someone she isn’t, captures the love of a prince (what is it with princes?), and eventually goes from being a good hearted peasant to a good hearted queen.

The elements in Cinderella have been used in movies, books and songs for a very long time. According to the Cinderella page on wikipedia, it is one of the most remade stories for movies of all time, with a cinderella-esque movie coming out about once every year since 1899.

The rags to riches idea appeals to us because it throws the idea into an area of possibility, and the idea that we can achieve our dreams by doing no more than having a good heart and crying out when we hurt, is beautiful in its simplicity and marvelous in its poetic justice.

The prince at the end is just the prize. I don’t think it’s so much that we’re teaching our daughters that they should wait around until some singing nobleman on a white steed carries them away from turmoil as it is us teaching our children that when you do the right thing, are compassionate and nice, you are then the ‘good guy’ and in the end you’ll achieve your goals and dreams.

The persistence of Cinderella is the idea that we are not fated to failure by our circumstance, but destined for happiness through our integrity.

And I think that appeals to everyone, not just children.