How can you get over a dead person?

First off, I’m sorry about the loss of your friend. Now please don’t take this the wrong way but this is something you might want to discuss with a therapist.

I think you should contact a medium and discuss this cause that’s serious stuff try and talk to the dead they can hear you

More information please.

Before his Death:

Was your friend a mean person?

Was he the type of person who would want you unhappy?

Was he controlling?

Was your relationship even keeled or did he manipulate you?

Do you in any way feel responsible for his death?

Dead people tell no tales. Do you know why? Because they are dead – they can’t talk at all.

@DarkScribe Thats not entirely true. They can speak or communicate with someone from the living world. If not verbally, physically.

All- we have a person here who is in crisis

They are experiencing something that is extremely self-destructive and this person is currently not reaching out to anyone in their life for help. While it is tempting to be flippant regarding the nature of the post please remember that if this is not a troll post there is a person in real pain here.

@Tink1113 They can speak or communicate with someone from the living world. If not verbally, physically.

Hmm. If a live person suffers damage to their brain they are obviously not the same – intellect and memory are lost to some degree. You want to believe that when that brain no longer exists, is decay or ash, that all of their personality, memories etc., can somehow exist, communicate without any form or substance whatsoever?

Sorry, although I have seen and experienced some amazing paranormal events in my life – I can’t find any feasible way that a “ghost” can exist. If they did they would be commonplace, not just apparently appear to a few very disturbed or deranged people. There would be billions of then getting in the way of everything.

Go to any competent (Licenced) Psychologist or Psychiatrist and they will tell you the same. Only New Age wannabe “therapists” without recognised tertiary training and experience will accept that nonsense.

Talking with someone about this will help. If you can’t talk to your parents, what about talking to a close friend’s parents (not the deceased person’s parents), a school counselor if you are still in school, a minister if you go to church, or a therapist as AstroChuck suggested. After 3 years, you haven’t worked through this by yourself, so it is now time to get help.

@DarkScribe ”If they did they would be commonplace, not just apparently appear to a few very disturbed or deranged people. There would be billions of then getting in the way of everything.”
There is a reason why a deceased person only chooses to communicate with one person.

@Tink1113 There is a reason why a deceased person only chooses to communicate with one person.

Tink, we are not going to agree. Might as well let it go. There is no way that a ghost can exist, there is no substance, element, or energy form that can stay coherent as a ghost.

There is also no way that a ghost, if it existed would suddenly acquire magical powers and be able to know what happened in other places and times to other people. The entire concept is ludicrous.

@Tink1113 you and @DarkScribe are not going to agree on this, and really, you should discuss this in PM. As for the OP, you should find someone to talk to about this, as grief is a rough road, and we all need a little help to get through it. You never get over losing a loved one; you simply become used to them being gone after awhile.

This is turning into a debate about life after death perhaps it should be pointed out that the person is hearing voices that are telling them destructive things. Regardless of the source this person needs help not a life after death debate.

@Evelyn and @DarkScribe I thought so.

@Dog hearing voices that are telling them destructive things.

Yes, the sort of help not available here. You can already see that some are reinforcing a delusion. The person – if the problem is genuine, needs real time help from a therapist.

A therapist would likely point out the areas of non logic – such as a friend will not hurt or blame.

@DarkScribe I am also concerned about Survivors Guilt as origin. Post traumatic Stress Disorder is another potential player here.

@Dog I am also concerned about

I can suggest a number of viable possibilities – the problem is that NONE of us can offer any real assistance online – to try to can be counter-productive or even dangerous. The OP has to be dealing with a real therapist. A therapist can listen and assess vocal stress, note body language and not only ask questions, but be able to determine the accuracy of the answers. It is impossible to even arrive at a conclusion when dealing with someone in limited bursts of text.

Your friend is not haunting you. Please seek professional counseling.

@DarkScribe The goal is not to cure the person here. They are describing living in a private hell and at this time they are afraid to tell anyone. Telling them ghosts do not exist is exactly why they are likely afraid to seek help.

My hope was to try to draw them into realizing that what they are experiencing could be a result of the tragic loss of their best friend and they should not be afraid to speak to someone about it.

It is my hope that they look at the links I left and it in some way helps.

Whether your friend is haunting you or not, please see a professional counselor. At the very least, talk to a counselor at school or a minister at church or another adult that you trust. They may be able to get your parents to listen and find you some help.

You ask “Am I to blame or have I done something wrong?”

The answer to this is no and no. You weren’t even in the car and you had nothing to do with the accident. However, we sometimes feel guilty for things that are not our fault. A therapist can help you figure out why you feel guilty and how to put these feelings in perspective.

It sounds like you feel guilty about something with regards to your friend. When you’re in high school, it’s really common to think that if you had acted differently, you would have prevented a person’s death. Based upon what you said, just being with another person, did not cause your friend’s death.

You should talk to a counselor at school, as they often make grief counseling available to students when a student dies. Often this is a different counselor than the school counselor.

Listen @Moxy- if you are still out there- I know the agony. My first spouse was murdered. If you have not gotten into hospice counseling (it is free) I strongly recommend it- it saved my sanity. Are you sleeping at all?

For those who have not experienced the trauma of losing a soul-mate or kindrid spirit suddenly without warning just know that it eats you alive. It consumes you. Sleep is fleeting, nightmares so real you can feel them riddle you with guilt, pain and remorse.

Until you talk about your friends death to someone and work through the pain you will be trapped in the nightmare. I do not think your best friend would wish that upon you any more than you would wish it on him if you had been the one who died.

Try leaning.