Fight or Flight? How do you react, and what situations push you towards these reactions?

Is this dilemma regarding a physical threat or just a situational threat?
If it is a physical threat and you have an opportunity to run, that is often the wisest thing to do. In a situation where there is no immediate harm, then fight if you have a chance of winning – otherwise ignore it.

I flight. If I am stressed or worried about something I just get in my car and drive. I need to be away from people even if they are not linked to the situation that is troubling me.

To be honest I was thinking of more situational, but it would be interesting to hear about how people have handled other scenarios as well.

@saraaaaaa it would be interesting to hear about how people have handled other scenarios

I tend to fight – I am stubborn. Usually I win, but several times I have lost – big time. It isn’t always like it is the movies, being right doesn’t guarantee winning. If I had a chance to reconsider some of my early decisions I would have walked away rather than commit (and lose) everything.

I fight, and I admit that isn’t always the smart move.

@DarkScribe I’m sorry to hear that, my biggest regret though sometimes is not standing up for what I believe in, which is something you did. It may not have been the ‘wisest’ decision for you in hindsight but it proves substance, and truth of character. Two worthy traits in my opinion.

I’ve been a military policeman and a first responder for over 20 years so in many situations, I’m sort of pre-programmed to act calmly under pressure under a variety of different conditions. It works alot of times but not always and I have to improvise as I go on some occasions.

I try to distinguish as soon as possible where a threat comes from or what kind of stressor is currently bothering me and plan accordingly to tackle that problem. Different people have different coping mechanisms and you just have to use your best judgement in behaving in a manner that is appropriate for you and your situation (fight or flight scenario).

For me personally, more often than not, I confront whatever problems I’m currently facing so I’m more inclined to ‘fight’ rather than ‘flight’.

@Bluefreedom, thanks for the response. A military policeman that always ran away would be considerably useless.

In acute fight or flight situations human beings have no choice. What we do is determined by the unconscious mind. Neuromodulators are being released without our control. We hit or run or as a third alternative become rigid induced by shock (triggered by an old genetic program trying to fool non-scavenging carnivores).

When the situation isn’t acute our conscious mind can determine how to interpret our emotions. Neuromodulators are still being released without our control. Stress in modern work environments triggers fight or flight responses, but the hormone levels of adrenaline and cortisol will only go down when we exercise (the cavemen really had to fight using their muscles or run like hell).

For example if your boss is really mean you can challenge him (fight) or quit (flight). How do we react? It depends on the situation. But you still got to exercise to stay healthy.

In really physically-threatening situations, I tend to freeze for a second or two—long enough to get hurt. Generally, I tend to run (metaphorically or literally) as soon thereafter as I can. I prefer to live to see another day rather than to try to solve my problem with violence today. Then again, I’m pretty small and I am much better at running than I am at fighting.

Stress is also part of the fight or flight reaction. It is a form of flight, I believe. I think that dealing with the causes of stress is the best way to remove the stress. Is that fighting? I don’t think of it that way. I think of it more as problem solving. However, tactically speaking, I guess you could say that it is fighting.

In which case, I believe in fighting, but that flight is often the first step to take if you want to be successful in a fight.

In a true fight-or-flight situation, we have no way to know how we will react in that moment under those specific circumstances. Fortunately, I’ve never really been tested. But I was pleasantly surprised when I was able to calmly and rationally respond when my son (at 2 years old) fell and hit the corner of the concrete steps right between the eyes and had blood spurting out like a scene from a Monty Python movie! The same last weekend, when I watched a car skid off the road and jump the curb. I was able to calmly pull up and check on them and call it in to 911, even though I was all shaky inside.

However, sometimes I’m astonished when I have an adrenaline-fueled reaction and it is inappropriate, and I wonder how I can temper that. It seems to happen when I am caught off-guard by something that seems patently unfair.

For example, a physician I was working for ~15 years ago came into my test area and confront me in front of a patient about what was taking so long… it was not only unexpected, but also very unprofessional. Not all hearing evaluations are a piece-of-cake… different conditions make testing more complex, and some patients are just more difficult to assess. When I had finished with the patient and brought them to the exam room, he said something again, and something flew out of my mouth… I no longer remember the words, just the sense of feeling backed in a corner and almost out of my body with rage, as if my vision were whited-out. Fortunately, my direct supervisor supported me, but I looked for another job and was out of there in a few months.

It’s been a while since it’s happened, until recently when canceling a service that had been unused for months, but their policy was that you had to go through one final billing cycle before the cancellation takes effect. What a ripoff! I tried to keep my cool, but I started shaking, and let a few cusswords slip out… and I hate that because it is irrational, and seems to make it harder to try to negotiate from that point. (not that they were about to anyway).

I’d like to hear others’ experiences and advice on when the fight-or-flight kicks in when it’s not a physical emergency.

Depending on the situation, I fight, and stand up for myself. I have been in situations, where I tried to walk away from, and the other girls had other ideas. It didn’t work out too well with her, and she got quite acquainted with the wall. I personally try to avoid situations where I need to fight, physically and verbally. I would rather walk away from the situation.

I have never been in a physically threatening situation where I have been able to chose to fight. I can’t stand that blood boiling feeling where you know how angry you are, and it’s all you can feel, that someone else has inflicted that feeling on you whether intentionaly or not; I have always walked away but I don’t know at all how I would do in a fight situation (maybe thats a good thing, but there is a certain reassurance that must come from knowing that you can defend yourself)
Fighting verbally with me tends to be an amusing state of affairs. My usual trick is to irrationaly ‘go off on one’ and then start to realise that I haven’t thought my reasoning and argument through, and that I might actually be wrong the horror. The amusement comes from when I refuse to back down and simply keep arguing and end up scraping around for anything that may weaken my opponents defences. The most interesting of these situations was all over how to cook a Sausage Casserole

I’m mostly a flight person. I never get in arguments…well, rarely. There are a few people I tend to argue with more often than anyone else, so I suppose in those situations I’m a fighter. Some people, I think, just bring out the negative in me, which is kind of sad because they are people I love, but for some reason I tend to go off a lot easier on them.

I think of fight or flight when I skydive. People ask if it is scary.

You would think in a way it would be. I though it might be the first time I jumped.

Once you exit the plane you cant fight, you can’t run away. It just is and it is rather calming.
I say that since you cant fight or flight you just accept it.

Would that be a form of fighting?

Totally a flight person. When things get tough or scary, I bail. I am trying to work on it haha. In relationships, I totally take “flight” when things get a little hectic, and same with life. I try to take a drive and clear my head now before completely giving up and running away. I think both fighting and flight have their negativities, and no matter which you do, you strive to not make it happen as much :)

Flight. Always. I know I shouldn’t, but I’m much better at running away than fighting.

In situations at work or as a consumer I usually stay very calm and am able to stay detached enough to avoid major conflict. However in situations involving potential physical harm I tend to react in a violent manner.

So as an instinct I fight, but in everyday situations I like to think I stay in between fight and flight and handles things quite diplomatically.

There is a third option, fright. While some people fight, some take flight, there are also some that fright, they freeze and don’t know what to do.

I tend to be in the fight category.

@DrBill – Are you referring to rigidity induced by shock, triggered by an old genetic program trying to fool non-scavenging carnivores?

@mattbrowne

Yes I am

What about when you are verbally confronted and you freeze? Is that the same reaction because you sense you are being attacked?

@saraaaaaa

Yes, that is the same thing. It does not matter if the attack is phicial or verbal.