How to get over your best friend?

I would say trust your feelings, or not.

Probably a bad answer, but the best way I found to get over someone quickly was to find someone new.

You need to go out and do something else by yourself. You’re thinking about him way too much.
Why would you want to date someone who wasn’t sure he wanted to date you anyway?
Time away from him and interaction with new people will give you a new perspective.

Yes, take your mind off him. Do things by yourself, do things with other people, do things with your family, but don’t spend too much time with him. I’ve been in a really similar situation recently, with trying to get over someone but being around them all the time. Makes things soo much harder. Now that I don’t have to see him, I realize I’m not missing much. Good luck!

Yoga. It will pass the time; you’ll forget about the world around you during the practice; you’ll learn how to let go of things that are destructive to your peace of mind. As an added bonus, you’ll get a great toned body while you’re waiting.

I think the best thing to do is find a distraction, whether it is another person or a hobby is your decision. Just keeping busy and finding something to be passionate about always helps me. I bake cupcakes :)

it sounds to me like you don’t know for sure if you really want to date him or not, maybe it would help if you tried to understand what your feelings really are for him. i know you don’t want to hear this, but try talking to him about it.

I say this having been there: No good can come of this. You say you can’t “just take a break from him”, but you must. Or you can stay in what is doomed to become a very unhealthy relationship. The old “I love my best friend, but we don’t want to ruin the friendship” routine is a vicious cycle. You can’t get into a healthy relationship while you are spending your time with a “best friend” who you are pining after. Cut him loose, if not forever, at least for now.

OK, I read your other question and I assume I have figured out the connection. Maybe you can’t just cut him off and I am dead wrong. Still, you are probably never going to really get over him as long as you remain best friends, but you may have to live with this difficult situation for a while.

@gussnarp , ditto.

I was also in this situation, twice, though not with my best friend. You really need to work on some kind of distance emotionally. Why do you say you two would probably break up if you did date? Maybe you should focus on whatever reasons those are to help you not think of him romantically. Also, if he is your best friend, he should understand that you need some space to think things through and “get over him.”

If you really care more for the friendship than the possibility of anything more happening then you will be able to transition with time even though it might feel awkward right now. Good luck, friends are treasure.

Don’t know what I’d do – if I had feelings, I’d go for it…if I couldn’t have them, this would affect our friendship…I get what I want, generally and I take risks for love…I’d probably detach myself a bit for some time

re: what @Simone_De_Beauvoir writes-
Please try to be respectful of your friend’s feelings aside from your own ego. Just because you may be capable of getting what you want doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for your friend, the person you say you value. Especially when they move on or find love with someone else, you must bite the bullet and pull yourself back. Respect and a bit of tact are still admirable between true friends.

@hungryhungryhortence oh totally, totally, you’re completely right…of course it’s selfish, would be selfish on my part and I totally don’t recommend it…just saying that’s how I would honestly feel, that’s all

Take a break away from him for 6 months. Let you both get on with your lives.

I know what you are going through. I am going through the same thing. He told me he doesn’t want to get into anything at the moment, and I can’t put myself on hold like that, waiting for him/us to be ready. So I am trying to move on, by distancing myself as much as I can. He is a good friend of mine and I dont want to lose him, but its not possible to get over someone unless you distance yourself for a bit, just until you get over him. He should understand if he is a true friend.

I am in the opposite situation. A friend of mine had developed a crush on me. Actually, her crush is why she introduced herself to me in the first place. We started meeting for coffee, then lunch, then dinner, etc. She was “very friendly”, but I wasn’t interested, and I had to tell her that just wasn’t looking to date anybody. She said she understood, and we kept hanging out. Eventually, she said she wasn’t looking for a relationship, but wanted to offer a “friends with benefits” arrangement. Twice. I turned her down for that as well. Twice. Finally, she got the hint, and we continued to hang out almost daily. A couple weeks later, she had to distance herself “to keep her sanity” (her words), and we now hang out about once a week.

She’s a great person, and I value her as a friend, so I don’t give her any crap for having her feelings. Our “friendly” relationship is now progressing well. Like others have said, if he truly cares about you as a friend, this won’t mess that up. Just let him know how you truly feel, so he can act accordingly.

I think something to keep in mind is that this person appreciates the relationship enough to stop it from imploding upon itself. Take into consideration that they still obviously want the relationship, just not that kind of one. A break from them might not be the right answer because then you might stop being such good friends. So even though some people say distance yourself and this is fluther, and you asked the question to receive in an answer, I say just talk through it. Tell them how you feel and just hope for the best, because I’m sure if you made it this far, this is just another small trial for the two of you.

@Cooldil17 that’s a good point, the thing is though it’s very difficult to get over someone you talk to and see regularly… Feelings don’t just disappear overnight unfortunately