Did making out with me mean anything to him?

Uh. Talk to him now that you’re both sober? Why bother guessing?

If he still likes you when he sobers up, pursue it if that’s what you want to do.

You are both probably afraid of ruining a good relationship. You have a lot to lose, and that can make you lose your nerve. You don’t know for sure what will happen if you bring your feelings into the open. It could cause a rift that makes you lose the friendship.

Unfortunately, I think it’s too late. The cat is out of the bag. You can’t stuff it back in. You have to follow this where it goes. Otherwise the tension will be too much, and you’ll lose the relationship anyway. Sorry. I wish I thought differently, but that’s my opinion. I hope I’m wrong. I also hope you pursue what you want and that you get it. I do know this: if you don’t pursue it, you won’t get it.

Well, I was going to automatically say no after reading the headline, but in reading you story, it probably did. I know this girl in high school that would have been the love of my life if I had the nerve to tell her, and I would have, if at the time I had access to alcohol at the same time she did. I get really nervous about these things, especially when I was around that girl. Even now, bringing up things with my wife, I get super nervous.

Agree to meet up with him somewhere non-threatening. Nowhere new, nowhere that could be considered a date, just a hang out or somewhere impersonal is best. This is so he doesn’t feel pressured into anything one way or the other. Then just tell him, in your own words why you asked to meet, and have the talk. Tell him what you feel and what you think. Listen to his thoughts and feelings, and his responses to your thoughts and feelings. Make sure to listen to his complete thoughts before responding.
That’s the best I can come up with. You won’t get past this (at least for a while) if you don’t have this conversation.

It does not really make sense to ask Fluther about the feelings of some person you do not name, and not one in thousand of us would know if you did. It is within the realm of possibility that what happened when he was drunk were his real hidden feelings coming to the surface. It is equally within the realm of possibility that he was feeling the quite fun but passing love for everything and anything that booze is sometimes apt to produce.

The only way to try and find out is to ask the guy himself. If you two are really friends, simple “Hey, remember when we made out when you were really drunk? Did that mean anything to you or were you just being drunk?” could be a good place to start. Whichever way his feelings run, he will probably be relieved that he can tell them to you.

Personally, I would probably email, but as some people think email is not good for this kind of stuff, so you need to judge for yourself if your friend would think that.

And I agree with everyone else who said it’s better to talk than not.

Go for it. Talk to him about it. Go out to dinner but please do something. If you really like him or care about him go for it. Don’t live with regrets.

It sounds like he does care about what happened, he just wasn’t brave enough to make a move before you were both drunk. Now he is probably really nervous about what happened. I think that this is one of those cases where being drunk was the only thing that finally freed both of your inhibitions enough to do something about your feelings for each other. Call him up to talk about it?

He is your close friend. You should be able to talk to him about it.

Invite him over for dinner and fix him a drink…

@PandoraBoxx LOL!

Okay….first of all…go out get some popcorn and watch “When Harry Met Sally” together. Invite him over, have a laugh and talk about what happened.

This happened to me once, a long time ago (I was sober, though…which made it sting a bit more) and I absolutely adored him. I stepped back because I did not want to lose the friendship as it was too precious to me. He did not want more and I accepted it graciously and still he is one of my closest friends. However, in order to protect myself, I didn’t allow myself to kiss him (like that) again. I was too vulnerable. We would still hug and hold hands sometimes. If you are truly friends, then you can discuss it and it can either go….one way….or the other…but you have to talk about it.

Or you can just invite him for coffee…and joke about it to open up the subject…” I had this strange dream that you and I were drunk…and that we kissed….did you have the same dream? Do you suppose that like on “Dallas” we lost a year or something?” Just be light and open the avenue of discussion….don’t get dark and gloomy about it.

I wish you every best bit of luck on this one…and remember a boyfriend is sometimes just for a short while…but a friend can be forever.