My short story competition entry, "Among the stars", had not been reviewed. May I have some constructive critisism, and possible editing?

Thank you very much. Keep in mind this is for a high school short story competition. Was anything too heavy? Too light? Thanks in advance.

Here is the link: http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AYA2vCj6b1S8ZDU3cm5xbl80M2c5dzdubmRo&hl=en