If you had to be in a Talent Show, what would your talent be?

I’m really good at drinking beer!

My amazing talent would be that I have none.

Being pretentious

If it was mandatory, I’d probably polish up one of my musical skills.

(Boring, I know.)

Or, you know, knit for an audience of 1. I could teach a masterclass on knitting, but it would be a pretty boring talent to just watch.

I am a very good typist.

Waddling and jumping in to cold water..

I can only think of one amazing talent…but I don’t think I would be able to do it in a talent show there might be children.

I have a bad feeling that it involves ping pong balls..

I would dress up like Madonna and sing “Like a Virgin.”

I have a funky rib

I can play the harmonica and howl at the moon and let me tell you, it takes real talent to do both at the same time.

@PretentiousArtist Good guess but sadly No I’m not that talented

Okay, I take it back. I enter for Awesome Blowjobs. But, uh… I get to pick the judge. :P

im a great judge ;)

@DrasticDreamer Damn you! You took my talent! :)

id be happy to compare notes, ladies.

@sjmc1989 Yeah, I figured. But you reminded me of mine! We can share the award. lol

Well it didn’t take this discussion long to degrade into filth ^^

Ok or we could have a Blow Job showdown!

Break-dancing.

@saraaaaaa Sorry I’m getting my head out of the gutter starting NOW!

fixing people’s computers
dreaming
photography

I’ve definitely been wracking my brain, and I’ve decided I have no talent good enough to use in a competition. Sad.

I can twist my arms over and behind my head/back in a weird way. And….that’s about it.

I have really clean teeth. Maybe I could showcase some proper flossing techniques?

@sjmc1989 @DrasticDreamer would that be a blow off?

@deni you could Floss to some music…maybe something of the rap variety.

Well, I’m good at various kinds of backflips (like from a standing position or off a wall or something) and I can do many a cartwheel. I could always show that off because people like seeing it. I used the backflip off my friend’s hand for both the Fashion Show and the Dance Team Show and every time it caused a roar of applause and “woo“s that stood out. Unfortunately, it would only last a second or two. Not really something to use in a talent show.

Oh I thought of another one I am the most amazing gift wrapper. I make every single present unique and the lines are so crisp and perfect people have been known to cry when they see it.

@sjmc1989 Cry, really? Wow

Being bitchy. I’m a pro.

@saraaaaaa YES! perhaps you could DJ while I floss?

I can also do a pretty mean headstand.

I can kick anyone’s ass at collecting dust

@saraaaaaa Yeah it isn’t a full on cry but a little glistening on the cheek.

I can make ANY woman have an orgasm without touching her coochie. (well, except for dead ones, but I’ve never felt the need to crack open a cold one, ya know).

@Deni Deal…all we need now is a name and we can go on tour!

@evelyns_pet_zebra I must say I am a little skeptical

@evelyns_pet_zebra I don’t believe you either

@evelyns_pet_zebra Proof, sir!

I’ve never done anything in a talent show other than play piano. Not very interpretive or creative, but it’s all I know! I brought the house down in high school playing “Bohemian Rhapsody” so I’d probably stick with that.

I can befriend any cat.

Singing. I’ve been singing since I could talk.

I’m talented at making dessert. I could whip up some homemade ice cream, or a chocolate cake. Maybe a fig and ricotta pizza with dark chocolate sauce? And it really pisses me off that I’ll probably lose to the blow job and no-coochie-touching-orgasm crowd!

@aprilsimnel That is the most artistic thing I have ever read in this thread. Your reply has crushed me like a bug on a sidewalk. It has used me like a bathroom sponge. So for this, I must salute you and give you “lurve”.

@Ladies, please drag yourselves on over here, I’ll fire up the CD player, light the scented candles, and work the kinks out of my hands. I start with a very nice all over rub down, from your toes to your nose, some clever tongue work on a few places known as unlikely erogenous zones, and then my secret, which is….

@MissAusten That pizza recipe is making my mouth water ^^

@saraaaaaa Are you sure it isn’t @evelyns_pet_zebra ?

@PretentiousArtist Gee, thanks! ::blushes::

@MissAusten quite sure ^^

Oh, and somewhere, somehow, I ended up getting really good at the hula hoop. If only I could find a way to make money from this skill…

I can lose an argument better than anyone else, as well as make situations ten times worse for me and five times worse for others involved.

I can perfectly imitate the call of the Common Grackle, for whatever that’s worth.

I can do a rather good voice imitation of Herbert the Pervert (from Family Guy) after a few beers.

Geez, we’re like a bunch of circus freaks. No offense to circus people.

I used to be able to pick up pencils with my toes, but then I had foot surgery. Now I am lucky I have toes.

I’m quite good at arranging flowers. I only thought of it because the wife brought me flowers today.

Exiting – stage left or right – whichever was closer. I would then devote the rest of my life to hunting down those responsible for kidnapping me and putting me in that show. (I’d never get involved voluntarily.

Juggling; or the talent I am currently exercising, aggressive non-studying.

I could do event organizing at the talent show, maybe organize it, ha. I pay particular attention to detail and all the possibilities that could happen. I also continually try and improve things.

I could also say mothering people especially those who don’t want it and are way above the age to be mothered. Just bring up an anonymous person on stage and let me have at ‘em, lol.

@tinyfaery – Nicely? In a vase?

Oh, I really have watched too much Python in my life when someone says “arranging flowers”, and immediately, in my mind’s eye I see Michael Palin in a Gumby outfit mashing flowers into a vase with a hammer. Monty Python-watching. There’s my other talent. :/

@aprilsimnel Yes. And I diligently change the water, cut stems and remove leaves. Sometimes the cats don’t even knock them over.

I am excellent at giving orders, so I guess my wanna be dominatrix talent could most definitely come in handy :)

Singing, playing guitar/piano/vioin, and re-starting a person’s heart.

I forgot! I will make calzones on stage. My dough is always perfect.

Also I can cartwheel well.

Farting, picking my nose, scratching my ass.

All while spinning a plate.

Sitting in a comfy chair and reading a book.

That ought to wow ‘em in Brisbane.

@aprilsimnel – pretty begonias, freesias, and chrymanthesums!!!! lol

Singing. That’s the only thing I have ever won awards for so I figured that’s my safest bet!

@Darwin imitating the Common Grackle? Why that is a great talent, much lurve for that. Do you think you could come ‘round here and call them all into a large trap? I’d like to be rid of the things. Pretty birds, but damn hogs at the feeders.

@janbb – Oh, no! Not the comfy chair!

@evelyns_pet_zebra – No, I can’t. Since they are a native species classified as a migratory non-game bird I would have to have permits out the wazoo in order to mess with them, or risk fines and jail time. You need to learn to love them. And not park your car under the trees they hang out in every evening.

@Darwin Yes, indeed, it’s…the Spanish Inquisition!

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

@Darwin Hey, it’s raining out here. Wanna come over for a pizza and Monty Python and Rocky and Bullwinkle festival?

@saraaaaaa, @Facade, @DrasticDreamer:

@evelyns_pet_zebra‘s claim is not hard to believe. He didn’t say that no one was touching them.

@Darwin You can imitate that?! It sounds like a computer going haywire!

I suppose I could always sing and act. Give me a personality type and I’ll do it for you. And if it’s a musical, then even better (or worse) for the audience!

Just don’t give me something that goes too high please; my throat gets all funny after that.

@Saturated_Brain – Personally I always think they sound a bit like an electrical transformer that is about to blow, but yes, I can make that sound. I used to do it to entertain Elderhostels.

Singing!! Hell yeahh! :) I can sing and im really good at it and it’s awesome!:) Everyone says I’m talented,(I dont wanna brag) and i really wanna be a singer! :P

@irocktheworld of course you are, I mean, yourocktheworld

i would show people my awesome talent of bending my elbows in this really weird way. i would do it while singing AND playing the piano.

Guitar.

I’ve been playing for 14years and I don’t like to brag, but I guess I’m pretty good. I’d give my youtube link, but I’m pretty sure that would be advertising. I’ll give you a hint though: It’s not a form of music from brazil, but that is the name on my page. If you know the name of the music I speak of, then you’ve probably already wondered seeing me here, lol.

if we could move a trampoline onto the stage, i can do killer front flips. i can land them like nobody’s business.

I can still type after drinking martinis. Is that a talent?

@MissAusten someone needs to go to bed…lol

Eating food! lol food is great!

Magic and fun, cool other things.

dancing to oldies!

@deni, Funky Chicken?

@saraaaaaa hahahah oh hell yes. right now i’m listening to “standing on the corner” by The Four Lads…it’s a pretty old song have you heard it? Well I love it, and I’m waltzing around my room, happy as can be. Ah life.

@deni, of course! Try this one full blast :)

@deni – You evidently have another talent – waltzing and keyboarding at the same time (unless you are using your phone, and then that is a whole different talent).

I guess my talent for today, is yelling at the stupid canvassers that won’t give me a minute rest.

maybe playing piano?