How do I deal with the fact that my new guy likes to wear girls underwear and be submissive?

Have you tried it? You might like it. If not, talk to him and tell him that this just ain’t doing it for you.

You accept it or you move on. This isn’t the type of thing that you change. It is one thing to get someone to put the toilet paper on the roll a certain way. This is a whole level past that.

I had one girlfriend that wanted me to run around in her panties and bra. It wasn’t creepy, it was just something that she thought was funny and usually led to fantastic sex.

Try it. Communicate your concerns, worries, and fears with him. If after giving it a good shot you find you’re not sexually compatible then move on.

I’d suggest be the yang to his yin.
Put on some boxers and be dominant.

I’m assuming that by “new guy” you mean your new boyfriend

Give it a shot. You might end up surprised by how weird it isn’t, once you’ve tried it.

Since he’s probably British, you could trying singing “Rule Britannia”:

Rule Britannia!
Britannia rule the waves.
Britons never, never, never shall be slaves

Sit back and enjoy the show.

he’s actually russian not british… when he talks about being me as dominant – does it go for just sexual things ?

he brings this up quite a bit and we havent been intimate yet….

look for a two for one sale at victoria’s secret.

Ohhhh. That changes things a bit. There might be some weirder shit in that closet that you might not want to find out about. I would probably run.

I just don’t think I could get into it. Unless of course as the sexy monkey says you can try it at half price, hard to pass up a bargain!

Actually that brings up another interesting facet to the situation, does he supply his own lingerie or does he want to borrow yours?. I wouldn’t want anyone wearing my undies, they would probably get all stretched.

And let’s hope he has good taste, I would really hate to see my man prancing around in cheap, gawdy thongs and the like.

Check your private comments

He brings this up quite a bit and we havent been intimate yet…

My first reaction: Leave the country, leave your clothes behind and never look back. Regularly contact your family so they know that something is wrong when you stop contacting them.

Ok I’m probably overreacting a little bit, but that guy isn’t creepy anymore, he’s on a whole other level. If creepy is the third floor of the hotel, than he is renting the penthouse or one of the top floors.

You do realise that when a Brit or Australian guy says “I’d really like to get into your knickers” it has absolutely nothing to do with cross dressing? ;)

Unless it’s Eddie Izzard.

@markyy wouldn’t you agree that its better he brings it up now, than hide it for years, until maybe he gets married and then brings it up, only to find out she totally rejects the idea and then out of desperation and obsession to fulfill a fantasy cheats on his wife and family with a 250 an hour mistress.
What her friend likes may not be main stream but that doesn’t make him a serial killer rapist.

thank you LKidKyle1985 – theres closed minded if i ever heard it, no wonder people are worried to tell their fantasties to others. You can’t judge things until you’ve tried it.

little odd, different, yes, but to each his own really. you either like it or you don’t, as mentioned above this is more of a personality trait then a general preference, so it’s more or less up to you to decide whether you can handle it or move on.

As they say, at least try everything once in your life, twice if you like it.

i’m just used to the other way around & im not exactly a dominating type of person – its mostly the wearing my underwear…
do you guys know what he means by dressing him up like a slut ?

Either try and see if you like it, or run. There’s really no other option, preferences like those don’t change…

If it doesn’t work for you, you could either
– Try to stick it out and play along and see if you grow to like it.
– Decide it’s not worth it and not working out and get a new boyfriend.

If it does work for you – everyone’s happy

@LKidKyle1985 You make a valid point, but is anyone really prepared to hear that kind of stuff at that early stage of their relation? I admit I went a bit overboard with my comment, I’m not close minded about other sexual preferences like domination, nor do I think he is a serial killer/rapist.

What I do find unsettling is his timing. Had I only read the question: I would have agreed with everyone else and said go for it, try it and see what happens, but @sweetistjuliet dropped the bomb and told us they haven’t been intimate yet. To me that translates into a) We just started dating b) We’re waiting for that ‘special’ moment. And that makes it an entirely different story. In my limited experience fetishes do not completely replace ‘mainstream’ sex. Like anal sex, it is something both of you need to be one hundred percent comfortable with, and is something that needs to be eased into, graduatly explored as you learn more about the other person’s do’s and dont’s.

Apparently I completely misread your answer (which is not hard when you have no description and casually add info to the thread as you go). I don’t want to go into a long discussion about this, I will admit this is probably not a new guy in her life and his honesty is to be admired. Next time when I think I see a red flag in one of your posts, I will refrain from sharing it at the risk of being called closeminded.

I like women’s underwear too.

@Zen I like women’s underwear too.

So do I, it is one of those situations where the packaging is almost as exciting as the contents.

You get him on all fours. Pull his silky panties down.

Proceed to spank.

So, he frosts your cookie?

It depends: Wal*Mart, or Victoria’s Secret?

Just to confirm, this is a hetero relationship isn’t it?

“juliet” is a very female name

@Sarcasm You mean just like how Darwin is a very male name?

If this is not something you ever imagined doing, and you can’t imagine feeling comfortable with it, then it’s hard to imagine continuing to be with him. I think he is doing you a favor in telling you what he wants before you go any further. He is doing the honorable thing. I hope you appreciate that.

It sounds like you have different expectations. You seem like you want him to be dominant—at least in regular life. How has he treated you otherwise? Does he take the lead, or are you always kind of sitting there trying to figure out what you want to do? In any case, whatever his style is when you’re not talking about sex, I wouldn’t expect that to change much after you have sex. It’s too exhausting to pretend to be someone you aren’t in real life.

These kinds of sexual games are about fantasy. Remember that the brain is probably the greatest sex organ. Fantasy is different from reality, and just because you fantasize about a thing doesn’t mean you want to behave that way in real life. Usually these things are done with a lot of rules, and with great concern to keep you both safe, so that neither of you goes into areas that make you uncomfortable (unless you like that), or that will hurt you.

Have you ever fantasized about being dominant? Could you? Personally, I’ve never done it in real life, and I’ve had limited fantasies about it because usually I prefer equality. However I was once with someone who was into it, and I indulged her fantasy, and I didn’t mind at all acting like a jerk once she told convinced me that she really wanted me to do that. It’s not something I would do, however, unless my partner really begged me to do it.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I don’t think it is dangerous if you follow the rules. However, you don’t seem comfortable with it, and that would cause problems down the road, if you are not open to it, and he continues to fantasize about it. If you don’t want it, and would be really uncomfortable even trying, then he’s doing you a favor. Be friends or break up or whatever, but don’t get any more deeply emotionally involved with him.

@Saturated_Brain I remember seeing someone say that. But it isn’t. It’s a very “surname” name.

@Sarcasm D’oh.. I’m now so embarrassed.. Okay, you’re right. But I was thinking along the lines of those ([more often than not] gay) guys who just like to use female names as a pseudonym for some weird reason.

either you dig it or you don’t. if you don’t , find someone else so panty wearer can find someone that does.

Since it’s a new relationship, you probably don’t have much invested. I’d break it off. You can’t used to something like that.

Chaps and spurs for you would complement his preferred attire.

From experience if you’re not into the stuff, BREAK IT OFF! cause its only gonna get worse…Next thing you know he’ll be tryin to drink ur tinkle

**Well just an update…this didn’t work out for other reasons so i dont have to worry bout this anymore. **

If you are not comfortable with it you have to tell him that. If you feel that you can never be comfortable you will also have to let him know because the longer the relationship goes on the greater the hurt is going to be.

Well, @sweetistjuliet , it was fun while it lasted. And Look! @Webzilla is still helping!