If you could communicate with a deceased relative or friend, who would you choose to speak to and what would you ask or say?

Great Question!

I tell my dad every day that I miss him. I have for years. I probably always will.

I’d without a doubt pick my best friend.
I’d ask why he committed suicide and if he got what he wanted out of it, or if he regrets it.
Then I’d most likely go on a rant about how stupid it was and how much we all miss him.

I think it’s because there was never any closure that I still talk to him daily.

Jesus.
What is it all about? Meaning life.

Where did you get those sandals?

For, the second time… I apologize, god! ....... are you hard of hearing !!???

—This is going to be the most memorable, and sad – yet uplifting and creative thread ever! (Surprised it hadn’t been asked so eloquently in the past.)

I would speak to my grandparents and say I’m sorry I didn’t spend more time with them, and talked back to them sometimes, and that everything they said was true and would come true – that I was a fool for thinking I knew better. Sorry for missing the funeral and missing her by 15 minutes in the hospital – would’ve liked to actually say goodbye. Thanks for raising me and taking care of me – and for saying I was special and had promise and talent. You are my inspiration in life, and I want to thank you both and say how much I love you. I hope you’re in a better place.

The last thing my first husband said to me before he died (Suicide) was, “You don’t need me anymore do you?” I told him that I was with him because I chose to be, not because I had to be. I would tell him that I was sorry that I didn’t remind him that his three children needed him desperately.

@Judi You’re going to make me cry.

@ChazMaz Are you sure you want to get into an argument on Jesus’ corporeal state?

Personally, I wouldn’t communicate to them. They’re gone. Life’s like that. Once your chance is gone, no matter how painful it is, life isn’t supposed to give you second chances in that way.

Besides, chances are that I’d believe they’re in heaven already.

Probably my grandfather on my mothers side. He was very difficult to talk with in real life, and it was not until he passed away that I found out he was not my biological grandfather. I guess he was sterile. But there are a lot of things I would have liked to take to him about. He seemed to live a very interesting life. I was too young to have a meaningful conversation when he was here.

Well I only have one relative that has died since I was born. It’s my grandmother, and I would tell her it’s ok for her to keep visiting me in my dreams, and that she can stay there without paying rent. I would also ask if she knew how I could help my grandfather learn to live with her death. He’s still having a hard time after all these years.

Ps. @ChazMaz is related to Jesus? O M G or should I say O M C!

Would be a bummer. To find out your sweet grandmother was actually in hell.

Because she just died a month ago, I would want to talk to my friend Charlita. I saw her several times a week at the gym and we always had so much to share with each other – about our mothers, Europe, George Bush, etc. I went on vacation for two weeks and when I came back, I was told that she had had a massive heart attack and died while I was gone. I still expect to see and hear her. I feel like we have had a conversation (or several) that is unfinished…...

I’m sure there are others I could name like my Dad, but right now, this feels the rawest.

@ChazMaz Thanks, I’m sure Jesus is thrilled to come down to talk to you since he’ll probably never have the chance to meet you in person.

There are things I’m curious about that only my grandparents can answer in terms of how dysfunctional my parents are;
... but if I can only choose one, it would be my ex-husband… he’s been dead 11 years now, and I still talk to him often. Yes, we had been divorced for over a year when he died (his liver gave out at the age of 39 after a night of partying – he’d been an alcoholic and drug abuser for years), but I have been left with the challenge of raising our son with that legacy, so he’s gotten many an earful from me. I guess I’d want to know why he refused to go to rehab and get sober to save our family.

I’ve rationalized that at the level of addiction he had, his brain no longer allowed clear thinking, and that a lifetime of self-loathing after having been the later-in-life accidental product of two alcoholics rendered him incapable of believing he was worthy or capable of happiness.

Then again, maybe I’d like to address his parents and give them the earful, and ask them why so many of their kids and grandkids are already deceased… again, I am curious about how they came to be so messed-up, and how they were able to live with themselves for as long as they did.

My recently deceased grandmother. I’m disappointed I never took the time to learn about the history of that side of my family. She had so many stories and so much knowledge.

I would want to talk to my grandma. I’d ask her if she knew that I loved her and appreciated everything she ever did for me (which was a lot). I’d tell her I was sorry I didn’t get to visit more before she died. I’d want to tell her about her great-grandson and one on the way. I’d tell her how happy I am and that she had so much to do with that. I’d ask if she’s happy and what it’s like where she is.

@markyy – Sorry friend. Bad timing on my part.

I am sure at least she is with Jesus.

@ChazMaz I’m not that into Jesus really, nor the afterlife, but I do find it bad taste to make fun of people’s dead relatives and I kind of jumped on that. It’s okay though, we’re cool (for now :P).

I would talk to my son. I would just want to know he is okay.
apologies I know that is a little intense but there you have it, you asked and I answered

@RedPowerLady – no apology necessary (((((hugs)))))

@hearkat thank you, i needed those hugs :)

@RedPowerLady: We’ve got people up there looking after him.

I would talk to my Uncle Stu. He was a good man who made some very bad choices and lived a sad and lonely life. I’d ask him to show me how to make his famous mashed potatoes. It sounds silly and shallow but it’s the kind of thing that would put him at ease and make him happy. The last time I talked to him we talked about the food channel. He died shortly thereafter. It makes me chuckle to think of him and his amazing mashed potatoes.

Good question… Probably my deceased grandfather. I would ask him why is life the way it is; what went wrong with my parents marriage after 28 years; why did our family fall apart when he passed on… I would tell him the few childhood memories I remember include him in many of them. I’d tell him I missed him, most of all, and only reason I hold onto any semblance of an afterlife or “god” would be to reunite with the ones I loved.

@KatawaGrey well that made me smile :)

JFK

I would like to have said goodbye to my father. As hard as I tried to get to the hospital in time, he died as my Son and I were coming in the door. I think I would say sorry to the soldier I killed in Panama. I got lucky and failed to miss.

@majorrich: ((((((hugs))))) for you too; I can not imagine living with the knowledge that I was responsible for another’s death – even if it was in the line of duty. I hope you are able to be at peace with it.

Grandpa, thank you for helping me. I wish we would’ve had time to know each other better.

Wow, similar situation, @Judi – only I was one of the three kids left behind when my father committed suicide. So yeah. I’d ask my dad if he’s happier now… I really hope he is.

Where did you hide the cash?

:( I would talk to my grandpa and tell him that I love him so much and if I could go back I would spend so much more time with him. He was the nicest, funnest, most generous and caring person ever, but usually you don’t understand those things about others until they’re gone….sniffle

My father.
I’d ask him “why did you leave?” (he left 9 years before his death).

I’d like to be able to ask my grandpa if he is contacting my little sister. She is 6 and never got to meet him. But she is always telling us things he tells her in her dreams and she sometimes says she misses him.

Does anyone believe (in) John Edwards ?

This is too hard for me to answer..

thinking about my Mom

@jmah [[[big hugs]]]

I would ask my mother for her version of the Playboy bunny/optometrist affair story her big sister once told me.

My dad died 26 years ago, and never got to see 4 of his grandchildren, so my first thought was to him.
I then thought of my Mom, and wanting to talk to her about her passing. I had her medical power of attorney, and pulled the plug after she was in a coma for 3 weeks. I want to know I made the right choice.
I would love to talk to my great great grandfather about the decision to leave his home country, and travel by boat to America.
I am so glad I don’t have to make this choice. It’s agony just working this out.

@SuperMouse When you find out – could you PM it to me?

GA’s to you all. Thanks for all the GQ’s.

Would love to know if my Granddad really did wait for me, I was the last of the grandchildrne to go and see him, few hours later he died.

Would also love to know what my mate Ray would want for his daughter, now he has so tragically left this world.

My cousin.. would you mind if I puplished your songs on the web, because they are sooo good!

Uncle Bernard… would you write down all your gardening tips for Aunty Jennifer please!!

I was never close to anyone in my family that passed away. But I lost a friend in a scuba diving accident a year ago, and to this day they haven’t found her. I would ask her where she was so I can give peace of mind to her mother who I am sure still has hope, and so she could give her only child a proper funeral.
I love you Shari Booth.

Our dad who passed away 18 years ago. I’d like to let him know how his love for life, his acceptance of people of all diversities, and the ability to call someone on the carpet when appropriate and handled constructively, were recognized, and I try to emulate him. And I’d also like to ask him if he would spiritually be there by my side when I marry my fiancé. They would have really liked each other.

My grandfather. I’d tell him we are all fine, we are happy and loved as he would have wanted to see if he could. I’d tell him he is a legend still and we all celebrate his mark on our lives when we gather together.

No séances. But if I could meet ‘em in a cafe or something, I might.

I’d like to visit with the paternal grandparents for a while. My grandfather died six weeks after I was born. I would have liked to know him growing up, and as an adult; from the stories he sounds like he was an interesting man.
I didn’t ever get a chance to say goodbye to Grandma, and they didn’t tell us about her passing until shortly before the funeral. I had very quickly bent the entire department at work out of shape trying to get a week off, dropped a big ol’ hunk of money for last-minute tickets and then the flight was canceled when the runways got iced over. I couldn’t force everyone to do that over again, so the folks went alone.