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Adagio's avatar

Do you have any suggestions for a quote or short piece of literature? (details following...)

Asked by Adagio (14059points) October 18th, 2009

I am looking for literary suggestions to print on a card I am creating for my daughter. My daughter’s beautiful nearly 8 months old son died a few months ago, my first and only grandchild. It will have been his 1st birthday in a couple of days time. I know I have left this rather late but the occasion is one that is difficult and painful and I think my subconscious has been putting the moment off. Suddenly I am faced with the fact that there are only 2 days left. The words I am looking for will be succinct, simple, not religious, meaningful I realise this is purely subjective and they will hold out a glimmer of hope…

I would not normally contemplate asking another person let alone an entire Fluther to help with this, much preferring to find my own words, but on this occasion words elude me.

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12 Answers

poisonedantidote's avatar

’‘not religious’’

can you give some clarification on what you mean by that? no refferences to any kind of afterlife at all? or simply no references to particular denominations of different theologies.

if you clear that up for me i will give it a shot.

sorry for your loss.

Adagio's avatar

not religious, meaning no mention of God traditional Christianity is what I mean

afterlife, that’s fine, more than open to that possibility

Darwin's avatar

Here are some quotes that may be helpful at the very least in helping you decide what you don’t want to say. I am very sorry for your loss.

How very softly you tip-toed into my world,
almost silently and only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint your footprints have left upon my heart. – author unknown, “Footprints”

To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die. – Thomas Campbell

He who doesn’t fear death dies only once. ~Giovanni Falcone

We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance. ~Marcel Proust

We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love. ~Madame de Stael

He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life. ~John Muir

“The death of a child is the single most traumatic event in medicine. To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself.” ~ Dr. Burton Grebin

“There’s no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.” ~ Dwight David Eisenhower

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in a manner so that when you die the world cries and you rejoice. – Native American Proverb

Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death. – unknown

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned. – Edna St. Vincent Millay

“Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace.” ~ Oscar Wilde

“Love you forever, love you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be”—used on children’s tombstones.

A thousand words can’t bring you back; I know because I have tried.
And neither can a million tears; I know, because I have cried.
You left behind my broken heart and happy memories too.
I never wanted memories, I only wanted you. – Author unknown

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. – Richard Bach

We weep over the graves of infants and the little ones taken from us by death; but an early grave may be the shortest way to heaven. – Tryon Edwards

Watching a peaceful death of a human being reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever. – Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross, “On Death and Dying,” 1969

Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still. – William Penn “Some Fruits of Solitude”

e who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man. – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

poisonedantidote's avatar

Sorry about this, but I cant really think of anything for someone who was only 8 months old. It is quite impossible I would think to say anything that would have any kind of reference to this persons personality. So I would be inclined to go with something that is designed to comfort the mother, something along the lines of ’‘while there is nothing we can really say about what he was like, looking at how brave and dedicated his mother is that he would have turned out a fine man’’

the only other thing I can come up with is a poem that I once memorized, I cant remember the author.

’‘What is life? Life is a play, the earth is the stage and the lights the light of day. And the graves that hide us from the parching sun, are but drawn curtains till the play is done’’

hope it helps.

Adagio's avatar

Thank you to everyone who has responded. But may I emphasise that I am not looking for words of sympathy, as one might offer when someone has just died, but words that acknowledge that my grandson has lived and died and was important in my life, my daughter’s life, her fiance’s life; words that somehow contain an implicit message that my grandson has gone but is not forgotten and that somehow life does go on.

RedPowerLady's avatar

I am so sorry for your loss and your daughter’s loss. I have lost an infant myself (only about two years ago). If you need to talk with someone or your daughter does feel free to PM me and I will give you my email.

Let me provide you with some resources.

This website is a web forum for anyone with a loss (including grandparents):
Mommies of Angels

This website has practical information on how to cope with a loss (including how to help someone else), the navigation is a bit funky right now so instead of directing you to the homepage I’ll direct you to the navigation page: A Loving Journey

Here is a book list of books that are helpful after a loss (sorry it is rather long but looking at the bold category titles should help you out):
Reading List

Here are some quotes:
“The heart of grief, it’s most difficult challenge, is not “letting go” of those who have died but instead making the transition from loving in presence to loving in separation”.

“As Long As I Live You Will Live
As Long As I Live You Will Be Remembered
As Long As I Live You Will Be Loved.”

“An angel with the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth, and whispered as she closed the book: “too beautiful for earth””

“If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
We would walk right up to Heaven
And bring you back again”

“The mention of my child’s name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you are really my friend, let me hear the beautiful music of his name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.””

“Some people only dream of Angels, we held one in our arms.”

“How very softly
you tiptoed into our world.
Almost silently,
only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint
your footsteps have left upon our hearts.”

“Some say you are too painful to remember, I say you are too PRECIOUS to forget!”

“A Thousand Words Can’t Bring You Back,
I Know Because I Tried
And Neither Can a Million Tears
I Know Because I Cried.”

(I can also help you find more and I also know many heart-touching poems for this occasion)

Please let me give you some very big hugs. Know I am sending love your way.

filmfann's avatar

I am so sorry.

The only thing I have for you is from Kahlil Gibran

augustlan's avatar

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending {hugs} to you and yours.

janbb's avatar

@Adagio This really hits home. My first grandson is 5 months old; I can only imagine how you are feeling.

Usually, I am awash in literary references, but at the moment, I just want to give you (and your daughter) a hug.

Adagio's avatar

Thought I would let you know that I’ve decided what to write on the card I have designed. The words offered on here fed into my own thought processes and have translated into a very succinct four word message. It captures my heart at this point in time. To those who offered up kind words for myself and my daughter, warmest thanks to you all.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@Adagio I am so glad you were able to think of something. I am sure it will mean a lot to your daughter even if she can’t express that.

Darwin's avatar

Glad we could help. Sorry for the reason you asked for help.

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