Why do women need so much prep time before they will have sex?

Don’t ask me. Ask Mother Nature.Why is grass green? Why is the sky blue? Why do some cats catch mice? Why do you lump a huge population into your “average woman,” whatever that is?

The entire population of ladies is out to irritate you and waste your time. Does that help?

Men need to spread their seed, women need to pick a good man that will help provide/protect her offspring. That’s why women are selective and men don’t give a shit.

@Sabotage82 What’s your favorite type of candy?

If it wasn’t just right, you wouldn’t like it would you?

Perhaps it is because as mothers, wives and daughters, women are constantly on call. It is hard to switch from cleaning spitup to sexy tramp at the drop of a hat.

I don’t think even Fluther can answer a question such as this…it is a secret that we women have kept closely guarded for too long to give it up so easily.

@saraaaaaa I completely agree.

It isn’t by choice, @Sabotage82. It is just how the female system is wired. It would be nice to not end up frustrated so often by males who fail to understand how females function physiologically.

Besides, we can get pregnant and you can’t, so we have a whole lot more invested in a potential sexual act than any male.

I think it’s just your experience sofar. I’ve dated more than one woman that was ready on the quick.

Then again you wouldn’t redline your car’s motor while it’s still cold, would you?

I think it’s just you. They have to work themselves up to it. For me, and every other man I know, it’s “drop of a hat”. Go figure.

Lubrication, dude. Got to get the juices flowing, or doing the deed ain’t nearly so much fun.

Wait, is he talking about physical prep time, or foreplay?

Foreplay… because it’s freaking FUN.

Physical prep time? I like to take a quick pop into the bathroom, a spray, a spritz, a primp, whatever… like to make sure I’m fresh.

It is, after all, called fore*play* for a reason.

Guys need prep time too…it’s just a lot shorter

Prep time sounds like you’re going in for surgery. What I don’t get is what the possible objection the OP could have to foreplay,

@sabotage82 – Are you talking about physical “prep time” or mental prep time?

@tedibear39 I am talking about mental. Mental can sometimes take days. It can get frustrating.

Perhaps, @Sabotage82, you need to refine your conversational technique. If a female doesn’t like you or think you value her for something other than sex, then she will definitely resist your advances.

Of course, you could always find a working girl and pay her the going rate.

@Darwin ‘s got it as usual. Try hookers. No muss, no fuss.

Well, looks like I don’t have anything to do here; y’all’ve summed it up pretty good.

Women can’t help it. It’s entirely biological. No, no, okay, just kidding.. but it really is biological: Male and female sexual response. In addition, I think women are also not as biologically driven to have sex. I do think women want sex, generally, more than we’re given credit for, but I also think we tend to be a bit choosier about our partners. We’re emotional creatures and until you’ve experienced the power of female hormones, I can’t expect a guy to really understand what it’s like. Most girls I know like to have some sort of personal connection with the people they go to bed with. Not all, of course, but we often like the interpersonal connection aspect of sex, in addition to the other things that make sex fun and enjoyable.

Just like men are built to need very little coaxing in that direction, women are simply built that they need a bit of finessing beforehand. I have to say I get a bit rankled when I hear guys complain about this. I mean, women go out of their way to learn what pleases you—that is basically the only thing that keeps Cosmo magazine in business—and it’s not all about you, frankly. So maybe have a bit of empathy toward what the woman needs, so that she gets the same enjoyment out of it that you do.

Lastly, I honestly don’t get the complaint. I love women.. they are so beautiful and complex and amazing. I love getting to know them and learning their particular thoughts and quirks. All of that is mental foreplay to me, I really can’t identify with people who feel it’s a chore.

See 1st graphic.

Oh, and the whole getting-to-know-you, flirty dance leading up to sex is part of the fun, too, at least to me. Thinking about it and wondering what it would be like is a mental tease that leads to a certain degree of sexual tension, which makes the actual act more exciting when it finally happens.

There’s no such thing as foreplay, it’s all sex.

@proXXi but it is fun!

Everybody seems to think I am looking for advice on how to get women and how to get in there pants… well not everybody just some ass holes in the group. Due to them. I have completely lost interest in this talk and will not be checking back in.

Oh agreed. It is fun!

I assume it’s because, from an evolutionary standpoint, women need to know that the man is truly invested.

The thing is that, in a way, women are smarter than men about this. Women seem to intuitively understand that the more you play and tease—the more you draw it out—the more fun you will have and the harder you will orgasm when you finally do.

Men usually start out wanting pleasure now! At least, that’s what usually happens if you haven’t had any schooling in the art of seduction. Young men are often so anxious, they they can cum before anything else happens—at the merest touch. It happens so often there’s a word for it: premature ejaculation. Ok, ok. Two words!

However women do seem to like to be warmed up much more then men. I’ve been with a number of women who say they need to “relax” before they can feel good. It’s kind of the opposite for me. We like to tense up!

The warming up starts way before you ever enter the bedroom. Generally, women want to feel wanted and safe, and romantic circumstances help with that—wine, flowers, low lighting, Barry White! Yeah, a little bit of humor helps, too.

If only I knew this back when I was a teenager. How was I supposed to know that backrubs are something that so many women want, and it really helps them relax? I thought that back rubs were just back rubs. Massages. I didn’t even think it was appealing, since I’d never had one.

So you take your time. Help your woman relax. They really do get “in the mood.” And then the games can start (at least from the male point of view). Touching, running your fingers lightly across her stomach… her breasts. Making her yearn for you touch.

And, well, you get the idea. If you need more help, you can sign up for my workshop series—Foreplay I, Foreplay II, and Making that Orgasm Blow Her Mind! I offer distance learning opportunities, both via email and over the phone.

I’m kidding. I’m kidding. But I sure do wish…. well, if women were the students, anyway… sigh.

That’s just how they are programmed. Better to just accept it because it’s not likely to change.

I agree with @wildpotato girls need time to get wet enough for sex, and that takes time. Some girls can get ready faster than others. Ive even found that i sometimes get “ready” more quickly if the guy sets the mood, or gives hints that sex is coming later on in the day. Gives me time to think and fantasise on how things will go and such.

@Brenna_o – Exactly.. I’d say as a generality, our brains are as much an erogenous zone as any other part of our bodies.

@Sabotage82 Everybody seems to think I am looking for advice on how to get women and how to get in there pants… well not everybody just some ass holes in the group. Due to them. I have completely lost interest in this talk and will not be checking back in.

In my opinion you “got off” rather easy considering your crass, rude and offensive approach to the subject. It seems pretty obvious your lack of sensitivity and understanding has contributed to your attitude towards sex – how can you possibly expect anyone, man or woman, to provide you with what you want when you have a shitty attitude towards them?

Sex is a lot more emotional for women than it is for men. Women are much more sensitive to many different stimuli. Emotionally a woman must be just as ready for the act as she is physically and that takes a lot longer. This is a fail safe to help protect the woman and her best interests. She must be emotionally committed to the man and know that he is willing to protect/provide for her and her children before she can be totally ready for the act. Of course in today’s day and age with the pill and different types of protection some of this is bypassed but we’re still acting upon our evolutionary mentality and thus it still requires women to take longer before the act.

When men get aroused its all about the instant gratification which is useful in an evolutionary sense for our “seed spreading” purposes. Think of a bull put out to pasture.