What's the funniest/most bizarre question you've heard from a kid?

I was 14 when some kid Asked, “excuse me sir, what time is it?” my answer: “if you Stop calling me sir, i’ll tell you the time”

… :)

I taught 3rd grade last year and one of my students asked me, super loud, in the middle of everything, “When are we going to start learning about the SEXES?”

I said, “Learning about what?”

He said, ” You know, the SEXES!”

I said, “Can you tell me more about what you mean?”

He said, “Well, we’ve already learned the twos, threes, fours, and fives, and now it’s time for the sexes!”

Turns out he was asking when we were going to learn the SIXES multiplication table and was mispronouncing the word.

I sure was glad I had asked him for more information. :-)

sarahsugs – maybe he was just from New Zealand :P

I used to lead nature walks for kids, and I was teaching a group how to identify honey locust trees (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Honey_locust_thorns.jpg) when one 10-year-old asked me if the honey locust was the tree they used to make Jesus’s crown of thorns.

My response: “Mmm, no, I’m pretty sure honey locusts aren’t found in the Middle East.”

my son: Is your belly button the doorway to your tummy?
me: No, your mouth is. You eat food and then it goes into your tummy.
my son: Did you eat me, mama?
me: No sweetie. (I know where this is leading now…)
my son: How did I get in your tummy?
me: Well you weren’t really in my tummy. You were in my uterus, which is inside, near to my tummy.
my daughter: What’s a uterus?
my son: It’s where babies grow.
my daughter: How did I get in your uterus?
me: You were a little teeny, tiny, little egg and you grew.
my daughter: How did I get out?
me: (Pause)...Well because I had two babies, the doctor cut me open right here and pulled you out.

Silence…

The weirdest question that I’ve ever heard from a kid came from my own son. He asked me “How does it feel to die?”. I ended up asking him 2 questions. I asked him “To the best of your knowledge, have I ever died?” The reply, “No,” 2nd question, “Then if I haven’t died yet, how would I know?” His response was so sweet. His answer was, “Because you’re my mother and you know everything. You know more than Daddy does.” I could not tell him the answer because I do not know. It’s a hard one to answer.

When changing into bathing suits with my little cousin:

“YOU SHAVE YOUR COOCHIE?”

When I first got the eyeball tattoo on the back of my head eight years ago, I had a boy of about ten or so ask me if I could make it blink. I told him, “Not yet, but I’m working on it.”

when I was a smoker I had a child ask me “why do you smoke if it’s bad for you?”
I guess subconsciously it was one of the reasons I quit before my daughter was born. How could I ever explain it? It’s still hard to explain to her why other people smoke, when they are clearly intelligent people and also know that it’s bad. And I certainly can’t tell her it tastes good, can I?

@Megan64 that was great, makes me almost sad I didn’t have kids, just to experience questions like that.

@evelyns_pet_zebra: Yeah. Their systems of thinking and reasoning are fun to experience. It gets pretty cute around here.

I was eight months pregnant, standing in line at the grocery store. A little girl standing in the same line turns around and says to me “did you have a baby”? I said “no, I’m going to have a baby”. Girl says “where is your baby”? I pointed to my stomach and the poor girl gets the most horrified look on her face and yells out “did you eat your baby”?!!!

My then 3 year old son asked, “mom, are you the boss of me?” when I Informed him that I was indeed the boss of him, he then asked, “then whos the boss of you?”. My reply, “no one”

From my seven-year-old, “Mom. What would happen if a bear had a chicken and a chicken had a bear?”
Me, fast on the uptake, “You’d have a dead chicken and a frustrated bear! Ha!” Then…well, it led to the same place @Megan64. However, her reaction was one of total disgust, ESPECIALLY when she put it all together and realized how her two month old sister came to be! Ha!

Well, this might be a bit off-topic, but here goes…

This is completely random, but I remember when I first realized just because one part of the object was gross, doesn’t mean I should throw the whole thing away. For example, bananas. I thought that because the top of the banana had a black spot on it, the whole thing was gross. And if my parents cut off the top part and made the good part into a peanut butter banana sandwhich, I wouldn’t eat it. I remember throwing away a whole banana or 2 because part of it had a black spot. But then after a couple weeks of banana wasting I finally figured it out. I threw away the black spotted part and kept the good part. I have no idea how I remember this because I was 7ish when it happened and I’m 14 now.

So yeah, not an actual question, but something funny that the young me did.

My daughter’s boyfriend has a 6 year old. Kid is a clutz! Totally! He was trying to get out of the camper one day and he…well, in the process he just FELL out. I said, ‘Hey, you know..there’s a step there!”
He says, “I know. But it doesn’t work.” WTH?? I laughed the rest of the day!