How do I move this relationship forward?

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss and the subsequent difficulties you have faced.

Based on what you’ve written, it seems highly doubtful that he wants your relationship to be ‘just friends’... but rather that he has been very respectful of your vulnerability. I can not imagine that he would have been so patient if he were intending to take advantage of you.

But there are two sides to every story… take some time to consider this from his perspective, and imagine how he would describe you and your relationship to someone… I only say that because sometimes we can over-romanticize things in our minds and overlook important cues about how the other person really is.

With just the information you’ve given, I suggest going with the flow for a little while longer. You don’t need to get yourself stressed about what to say… just see how you feel the next time the two of you get together, and when you have an intimate moment, express your feelings and concerns then.

Please post back and let us know how it goes. I’m rooting for you!

Because of what you are saying, it seems like he’s a bit serious about this. You could always be upfront and ask – the worst he could say is no. I don’t think he will, though.

Do you pray? That might help with a decision. I’ll put you in it prayers. (:

I agree with what the others have written, that the man seems to be interested and respectful. You might be up front by thanking him in person for being able to be so comfortable in his company and tell the truth that even though you’ve been careful awhile during your vulnerable emotional healing, you really do like him enough to where you’d like to take the relationship further than casual dating.

I say: Why define it? Why rush it? It seems like both of you are making progress. The best relationships come from respect of boundaries and ‘baby-steps’ towards relationship. This sounds like a stage where you have to be very watchful of him and ask the hard questions: Will he provide for me emotionally, physically, sexually?

You have an awesome opportunity at this moment when you are teetering to keep a hard look on him. Is he your soul mate? Does he have the qualities that will sustain your (pl) relationship for the rest of your (pl.) life together or are these feelings amplified because you haven’t felt them in a while?

People say that the deepest love is wild and untamed, that it takes you over and guides you to the right person. I contend that the deepest love is the continual stepping closer to the other person even once inside their boundaries still pursuing still knowing deeper and better. You pass certain boundaries and you know without a word that both sides are deeply committed.

The pace that it seems like you are moving seems to fit a careful, cautious hard look at the other person to be sure that neither side will get hurt, that is normal and healthy. We struggle so hard to wrap our hands around a relationship, to squeeze it and not let it get away that we kill it before it starts.

I would say keep following his lead, that brings about a deeper attraction in a man than anything he sees with his eyes.

I hope this helps!

thanks so much for all the thoughtful answers…i certainly will consider all…it’s great to have a place to ask these important life-changing questions without all the “wise-cracks”...if you know what i mean…lol…soulfulms