Love triangle, what should I do?

The last part changed the whole way I was imagining it. Hmm, I say go for it, don’t hold back, and good luck.

Whoah. There’s a lot to digest there.

If she wants to be with you bad enough, she will leave him. And yes, you should probably ‘demand’ that if she really doesn’t like him anyway- or, you two should not hook up until she gets around to dumping him.

Edit: Hypocritical advice- If she’s cheating on him now, be aware she might do that to you one day if she decides you two are all but over.

Have the poor boy marry the rich girl, and the poor girl be sad and depresse.

wait, archie comics did that already

I’d say just wait, try spending some time apart.

Wow the Lesbian part at the end totally changed what I was thinking during reading, lol. Um, I’d say you are in a position to demand her love. I was in a very similar almost exact situation before. I was in love with her, we had sex a couple times, she was with someone else, I felt as though she loved me, she wouldn’t admit it, but she wouldn’t deny it. I demanded she do something and she followed logic instead of her heart, which left me broken. This was 2 years ago and I still can’t stop thinking about her. :(

I don’t think you are in a position to ‘demand’ anything. That said, I would not become involved and/or repeat what has already happened unless she breaks it off with the boyfriend. Don’t go around issuing ultimatums or anything, just tell her you aren’t comfortable with being with her behind the boyfriend’s back. The next move will be up to her.

The part at the end also threw me! Haha. I would say, don’t demand anything. She’s been committed to someone for three years. Thats a significant amount of time. If she truly wants to be with you and not him, she’ll leave him. You can’t stick around in a relationship forever if you don’t truly wanna be in it AND if there is someone else you want more.

@augustlan seconded.

Cheaters cheat. Know that before you think about anything else.

Just to reiterate, she must make the decision of course, but it does not confirm nor deny the fact that you two both feel it. Logically the 3 year commitment is a hard thing to destroy, but a structure can’t be built on top of it either. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t follow her heart.

Unless she does break up with the boyfriend you are much better moving on to someone else. Don’t demand anything, simply tell her that you don’t feel comfortable being the third wheel, but if she ever does find herself free of other relationships you would be interested.

So, you’re willing to put up with her drama and most likely her insecurity over her very real relationship over your maybe long term lesbian feelings? This chick is not worth it, she’s cheating on her boyfriend of three years with you, she’s too chicken shit to end it, and you think this has a future? You’re a plaything. It sucks, but I honestly don’t think you’re anything but some extra spice.

Walk the hell away.
That’s what you should do.

No matter how you end this if you’re still in the picture when all of it comes out, it’s gonna suck in the worst way for you.

You are roommates? Is that like college roommates? Or do you share an apartment or something? How old are you?

In my experience, it doesn’t really make sense to take relationships as seriously when you are in your twenties. That’s just my experience. I hung with a crowd where just about everybody slept with everybody else at one point or another. We didn’t know who we were or where we wanted to be, so we were just trying things out. Some of the women had lesbian relationships, and even called themselves lesbians, and later on they married guys.

You, yourself, say you don’t consider yourself a lesbian. So what is this affair, then? Are you just trying something out? Or is this something you want to be serious and forever, maybe? If you’re not really into girls, then this doesn’t seem like a long term relationship.

You say that she’s kind of trapped. She doesn’t love him, but she feels marriage is somehow inevitable. Why can’t she break up with him? Since when did women become slaves to men? I thought women were emancipated long ago.

Well, for whatever reason, she can’t handle her own life. So maybe she’s using you as a way to get the strength to break up with him. Maybe she hopes he’ll catch you some time. Or maybe she’s recruiting you for a threesome.

Whatever. I think the best thing you can do is to help her sort herself out. I don’t think you have any business “demanding” anything from her. That’s pretty selfish. If you love her, then you should want to put her interests before yours.

Let her break it off. Then you guys can do what you want. If she can’t break it off, you should ask yourself if this is really a person you want to be with?

The other thing to ask yourself is whether this is more about the drama than about love. Nothing seems very permanent here, and so maybe you are making too much of it. I’d be really careful, though. You stick your nose in there in any way besides being a friend, and it might get nipped off.

I’m going with @asmonet on this one.

If she is really serious about a relationship with you, she’ll end it with the boyfriend. Otherwise, she’s using you.

This would be fine if you were only interested in some NSA fun (and don’t mind being a mistress) – but it sounds like you’d like a real relationship.

I wouldn’t demand anything – simply state what you want and let her go. If it’s meant to be…

In the meantime, start hunting for a new roomate. just in case

I’d get really really silent listen to what your gut feeling is telling you x Hope it works out well for you xx

Love triangle, what should I do?

If it is an equilateral triangle, nothing will change. You need to work toward an Isosceles triangle with the other guy on the short side. Not sure how you can do that – it is up to you.

There seems to be a lot of this going on in life. “Sh*t or get off the pot” is my advice but not for you, for her. Pick. Love is a very hard thing to muck with and a very difficult thing to really understand. Is it a lust-love? Is it a cant live without you love? is it a you’re here now so i will love you until something better comes along love? Just some questions to consider before bringing it up with her. I would talk to her about how you feel. The easiest way to avoid a mess is to be open and honest with every party involved and come to a conclusion in as peaceful a way as possible.

I don’t know how people walk into this much drama!! You must be a glutton for punishment. The unique twist is that it’s the girl with the sob story and the lines., but this is an old, old story. My question really is, if she eventually dumps him and is openly with you, how can you ever fully trust that she won’t do the same thing to you when she gets bored? (What IS the male word for “mistress, anyway?)

@Judi I believe it is “mister” JK.

@bright_eyes00 – In this case it is more likely to be gigolo or paramour or lover.