Do I get my haircut for ME or for my wife?

Cut it. It will reduce the nagging.

I don’t know how you and your wife work, but for me, my wife lets a lot of “me” go without comment. Goofy outfits and shoes, crazy ideas, uncombed/cut hair are usually not a problem.

Occasionally she’ll speak up and let me know something isn’t quite how I’m seeing it. Usually looking back, she’s dead on. Maybe your hair doesn’t give quite the vibe you think it does and she’s just being kind.

If you have a booger hanging, who better than your wife to let you know gently.

Maybe what you think is Sam Elliott really only looks that way for about a day, and the rest of the time it really looks like something else. Sam Elliott only works if the rest of the package looks like Sam Elliott. Sorta Sam Elliott doesn’t quite do it.

Perhaps the answer is “C,” which is neither Sam Elliott nor ultraconservative, but is comfortable for you, and attractive to her. Or it may mean Sam Elliott, but you head to the barber shop every other week to keep it trimmed.

Get a damn haircut, hippie!

Cut it.
Hair isn’t worth the nagging.
She better be paying for it

Start bitching about her favorite outfits. Begin with the shoes.

Keep it, if she can’t respect how you want to dress and look she’s way too nitpicky. Tell her you like it like that and “that’s how it’s going to be woman”.

Get a trim and a hair style. If you’re just letting it grow long, then it’s probably not shaped.

My very wise grandmother used to say you are the only person who doesn’t have to look at your hair. Cut it, make the wife happy. Besides, maybe your wife wants to be with the man she opted to spend her life with, not Sam Elliott.

Seriously? Don’t cut your hair if you dont want too. If your wife is going to nag you over and over about your hair then I would seek marriage counseling. It’s just hair, sure….... But it’s on YOUR head. Wear it how you want. If it helps your confidence and it helps you feel more at home with yourself then don’t change anything.

You need an independent third party to comment on the hair. I rarely see long gray hair that looks good, and I like long hair on men. Even on Sam Elliot, the look sometimes has a “scruffy street person” look – it’s a fine line. Make sure you don’t actually look like Sean Connery in“The Rock”.

I dunno. Sam Elliot looks pretty awesome in person. He’s a character. He would be, whether or not he was an actor. He has a really cool vibe about him and he’s a very genuine person. (He frequently shops for his mom at one of my old places of employment, which is how I know this.)

Edit: I say keep your hair how you want it.But, I do like @Facade‘s suggestion. Meeting her in the middle might make both of you happy.

@Facade has the perfect answer, if you hair is neat and styled, and might I add, clean, your wife will probably like it even if it is longish.

GA facade!

@DrasticDreamer Oh, i think Sam Elliot is yummy (mostly the voice), but the hair is not always good. Of course, there’s also the unfortunate Kris Kristofferson In “Blade”.

Richard Gere seems to hold the middle ground pretty well. Or maybe this Sam Elliott look will work for both of you.

I thin we need a pic so we can judge for our selves what hair style you suit.

I want bleach blonde platinum look and a tattoo but I know I’ll be looking at a very annoyed hubby if I do so I don’t!

Don’t cut your hair if you really don’t want to. But if the nagging is annoying you enough, maybe just trim it? Don’t cut it super short, but clean it up a bit. Perhaps?

you

I don’t see why cleaning it up a little will be that much of a deal. I think you can find common ground in just keeping your hair looking taken care of. I can’t stand it when a guy with long hair doesn’t take care of it. I like the middle ground of Richard Gere that @PandoraBoxx showed!

How can there be any question here? Do you want to be harassed and hounded for the rest of your life? Then cut your hair.

My wife is always after me to get my eyebrows cut. She tells me to be sure to tell the barber to do that. Well, my eyebrows remind me of my grandfather, who had wild and jaggedly bushy eyebrows. It’s about the only thing about him I really remember. I wear them proudly.

But she kept nagging and nagging, and finally I let them be cut. It’s not worth the trouble. I even cut them myself last time, since my barber is for shit. Not to mention my ear hair. Plus she wants me to keep my beard longer than I was keeping it. I just got tired of the harassment.

Give in, man, or you’ll end up in the garage. ;-)

Wife

People let each other get away with a lot in a long relationship or a marriage. She probably let tons of other stuff slide, but maybe the haircut was looking really bad. It’s hard to look at yourself critically.

Usually I’d say, yes, a partner should definitely accept and like whatever their loved one prefers, hence if you like your hair long she should accept it. But in this case however… Yeah maybe she is right. It looks kinda cool on Sam Elliot, but not many people can pull that off.

Maybe you should take a picture and fluther can decide if you should cut your hair. It’s kinda impossible to say if your wife’s identified a hair-tastrophe or just wants you to conform to her taste without getting a look at what’s going on.

have her cut your hair. that way you both get what you want. I dont know what sam elliot looks like but if you can put it in a ponytail, it’s too long. don’t do the grey ponytail thing.

If you get your hair cut for her, aren’t you essentially doing it for you? She’ll stop nagging, you’ll have a greater chance at action, you’ll enjoy the fact that it washes and dries quicker…

I agree that Sam Elliot looks hot but, I’d think that w/out the hair. ;)

A photo would help me figure out what would be a happy medium, if there is one available.

In general, I say keep your hair the way you like it. When we are comfortable in our own skins (and hair), it really does make a difference in our daily experiences. However, I’d have to see your specific hair to know for sure. Sometimes, people cling to hairstyles (and clothing, and ideas, etc…) that is terribly outdated, and need a little nudge into the present time period. I actually got my husband to change his decades-old hairstyle (not by nagging, just by telling him the truth – that he’d look a lot better with a different style) and he ended up loving his new look. If he hadn’t given it a shot, I would have let it go… I love him after all, not his hair. :)

Get your hair cut the way your wife wants.
You just pissed me off when you said ME or for my wife.
Why capitalize ME? Makes me think you are far too self absorbed.

@filmfann I think he was just showing how the question should be read, with emphasis on “me.”

Yes, @filmfann, I probably AM too self-absorbed. I have pills for that so it’s getting better. I’m still a pretty good dad and husband. Anyway, thanks to the overwhelming responses, I’ve decided to post some comparison photos: http://gallery.me.com/rhodes54#100078
As was suggested earlier, I’m getting a “trim” and style tomorrow without getting too much cut off.
Keep in mind that I live in Austin, TX where “semi-formal” means “wear shoes”. ;
Thanks,
St

You definitely need “C”, something in the middle. Short hair makes you look really euro, and no offense, but long hair makes your face look fat. You definitely need a little more length than the really short cropped look.

@rhodes54 Since your hair isn’t extremely thick, having it long is dragging you down. Besides, the short cut looks nice on you =)

I just looked at your pic and you should get it cut. you look way better with the short, trimmed look. old guys look way hotter with neat , trimmid hair.

@trailsillustrated , what, like the “old guy” in your avatar? :-)

Either way looks good to me. So I think this one should be up to you. You might want to find out if there’s a particular reason your wife wants it shorter. Is she the outside spoon? Maybe it’s tickling her nose at night.

Now that I’ve seen the pics, I like short better, but I can see how the Richard Gere in Between style posted above would probably work well for you.

I think you would be really HOT with something in the middle!

why are so many of marriages all about nagging or avoiding harassment? this is not how it should be…this shouldn’t even be a question…if you don’t want to cut your hair, then don’t…you wife should understand and it shouldn’t be so difficult

Because most everyone is a control freak!

If you look like Sam Elliott with the long hair keep it, anyone who looks that good can wear it any way. But if you look like Meat Loaf, get it trimmed-neater is better for a mature man

Yep, something in the middle would be best. Rock a new look altogether. :)

Ooh! And post a new pic of whatever you end up with!

Something in the middle it should be, your short hair does make you loook alittle more youthful, but I think longer gives you a little bit of an edge and less conventional, and that can be attractive in a man!
Let us know what you decide :)

@rhodes54- no, he’s supposed to be rocking to the music he hears, but it doesn’t move on this one. it’s really funny though.

as a guy with long hair, it really doesn’t matter. Personally, I like it better long, I think I look better, but I’ve had girlfriends who like it short, so I cut it, in the long run, the better they think I look, the happier I am with it.

I will weigh in and say I personally prefer the shorter look.
Also, a haircut isn’t worth nagging. Hair is a little thing to modify.
There’s a saying a very wise ex brother-in-law has for women that goes like this, “whatever you say, you’re right” and he’s VERY popular with women.

I like the short look better, but I think an “In between, Richard Gere” haircut would also look great!

@hungryhungryhortence It’s worth the nagging if it’s important to him. If how he cuts his hair is a significant part of his self image coercing him to cut it differently is insensitive to who he is as a person. A spouse should care enough about how he feels to let him make the call when it matters than much to him.

@fundevogel completely agree

@fundevogel: I look at it like this, you manage your appearance (most of us do anyways) in order to be appropriate for work, right? Would you do any less for your partner? I’ve been in just a few but longterm and live-in relationships that brought to light your appearance in the eyes of your SO is kinda important and it’s so nice to give a little here and there, better than making a mountain out of every molehill just because you can.

@hungryhungryhortence Disney has (or had, I’m not up to date) rules about how to cut and groom mustaches. We all have personal limits to how far we are willing to change ourselves for other people. And most of us try to avoid jobs that demand more of us than we’re willing to give. It would appear that @rhodes54 isn’t bothered by his work dress code. You can’t criticize him for amicably following a dress code he finds acceptable and but resisting one he does, they aren’t equal.

And a husband and wife have a significantly different relationship than a employer and employee. You do what your boss says because you’re paid to and they have authority in the work place. Marriage should not be based on the authority of one person over the other or the favoring of one persons desires over the other. Money should never be used as leverage, but that’s a no brainer.

Since the beginning of time women have laced themselves into corsets, stuffed their feet into shoes too small, teetered on stiletto heels, worn lacy itchy bustiers, bras, had their hemorhroids irritated or induced by thongs, worn skin tight jeans, skirts, shirts, all designed by males to enhance their enjoyment of the female form or because their husbands liked it.

Getting a haircut cuz your wife likes it better a little shorter, does not seem like a big deal.

@rooeytoo You think like I do. Lurve!

@SpatzieLover – thank you.

@rooeytoo Yes, well we stopped doing all that crazy stuff once we got a right to vote and demanded we be treated as people not poppets or property. Why would it be any better to for a woman to dictate how and man appears than it was for a man to dicatate it to a woman?

It’s just reversing a double standard.

@rooeytoo Ladies in the 1500s wore bustiers therefore this man in 2009 must do what his wife says?
also let the record show that I’m not interested in stilettos, or skin-tight jeans, or any other uncomfortable form of clothing on women.

@fundevogel – The last time I was in a Victoria Secret, there was still a lot of uncomfortable looking stuff there! The telly here was just showing scenes around Melbourne Cup (aussie version of Kentucky Derby) the women were wearing a lot of skin tight and uncomfortable looking, the guys were in slacks and sport shirts.

And just for the record I said that in a “sort of” tongue in cheek mode.

But I truly don’t think it is a big deal. Most husbands and wives do things for their partners without even thinking about it.

@Sarcasm – you sound like a good guy, but there are still a lot who drool over the skintight, lowcut, sexy designs for women and don’t hesitate to tell their partners about it.

@rooeytoo Well I’m not wearing a bra. It’s seems to me most women today get to choose what they wear. Maybe some women dress according to what they think people want to see but that’s hardly the same thing.

sorry I missed the tone, people seemed to be taking this question unusually seriously. There are no where near enough sexual innuendos for a fluther discussion.

If it is growing grey I would say cut it and keep it tidier. I’ve known a lot of men with longish hair and thought they were good looking but when they cut their hair they look a lot better. I think you should cut it; for your wife and for everyone else who might admire you!

My gut reaction was to say “short”, but after looking at the photos I’ve changed my mind. I think you pull off the long look better than most. It’s different, and you have some nice wave in your hair. I can understand how your wife might be unhappy about it though. It’s a more unconventional and unprofessional look.

Perhaps you can find a solution that both you and your wife are happy with? Someone else suggested keeping it trimmed and styling it. You might be able to keep the length you like, while being more “conventional”. Someone else had suggested meeting somewhere in the middle, literally. I think this is something you need to figure out with your wife, since it seems to be a big deal to both of you. Otherwise it’s going to keep coming up.

@Sarcasm – sadly, one of my jobs is playing piano for dance classes, so I’m FORCED to look at women in skin-tight attire. I try to look away, but…..

Tyrian Red – thank you for the compliment, I DO think it looks better long or at least long-ish.

@rooeytoo – if I thought that keeping it short would translate into more sex, I’d go all Jason Statham on my dome and smile while all the while, but personal history suggests no correlation twixt the two.

@rhodes54 So where’s a pic of your new ‘do?