Do you feel bad for these people or do you think it's funny?

I think there’s some poignancy there. It’s easy to make fun of hyper-sincere strangers, especially in those 80s outfits, but besides the occasional cringe, I thought it was more sad than humorous.

I think I feel sorry for those people. It was funny seeing the style of the guys on the video. I couldn’t help but think that that was the style back then. I was born in the late 80’s, so that is my excuse.

I’m pretty sure the guy that was the body builder that was reading was my ex-husband.
I thought it was kinda sad.

Um. Yeah… I didn’t really think it was funny at all. Definitely more sad in my mind.

I guess I must be kind of mean. :(

At 3:34, it looks like it could be Seth Green’s Dad.

“i’m not looking for some big overgrown monster who’s always thinking about food”

“i like to wear bright socks”

those 2 quotes both made me laugh real loud. very funny. thank you for this.

I didn’t think it was sad at all! It was half hysterical, and half completely horrifying. To think, those men thought what they were saying would attract someone??

I got married in 1980. The video is a reminder as to why I said “yes” when my husband proposed.

I’m guessing Mike gave up on his ‘No smoking’ rule after a couple of years.
Ps. What are The dwarf from Lord of the Rings, Jon Bon Jovi and Hugh Heffner doing in that video?

And look how big Steven’s sleeves are! I bookmarked that video and am watching it again, still laughing.

“You’ve probably already noticed that my eyes are incredibly blue” HAHAHAL;KDSJKJF this is like a real life Napolean Dynamite.

Okay, so my friend poses some interesting questions:

1) How would I come across in a talking-to-the-camera self-promotion?

2) Is there any way to present a list of demands without sounding shallow (“no fatties”) or callow (“likes to have fun”) or generic (“smart and funny”)?

3) Am I incredibly shallow for finding all of these men repulsive? Surely they are human beings… just very off-putting human beings…

4) Do you think gays avoid the feelings of mystique and other-ness that contribute to the incredible awkwardness straights sometimes display? Or is there plenty of awkwardness to go around? (this was in response to my sympathy for the seemingly-gay dude sandwiched in there)

I wish they made a movie like this for every decade and time capsule it.

That guy in the viking costume got me

1) The thing that’s interesting is that I know I would come off looking exactly like those guys. Maybe that frees me to laugh because I know if it were me in front of the camera, I’d look like a huge dork, too.

2) With this type of approach, I think it’s possible, but difficult. Requires one of those uber-charming types to verbally finagle it.

3) I don’t know, I found them to be unattractive in various ways, and not necessarily due to looks.

4) Trust me, plenty of awkwardness to go around.

@MissAnthrope Actually, the only times my gay-dar is off, it’s just an incredibly awkward straight girl! Gay dudes don’t often have that intrinsic awkward vibe, but I think lesbians are pretty prone to being at least a tad awk. We’re not as bad as straight dudes though… they take the cake, on average!

Also I was totally wondering if the fact that I found this totally hilaristurbing was because I’m gay… Wouldn’t attribute it to shallowness though! :)

Ugh. And now I’m just thinking about how just last week I was telling someone about the types of socks I prefer to wear, which include bright socks and mismatched ones with wild patterns. I bet I sounded just like that guy. :(

@fireinthepriory – All I know is it made me a little gladder to be gay.

@deni – lol4rl. I pictured you looking solemnly at the camera, “I like to wear bright socks.”

I don’t get why I would feel bad for them.

@MissAnthrope hhahhahha. “I like to wear bright socks and I love to floss. I’m a keeper.”

@Facade – Because if you find it funny, it’s pretty much in the spirit of making fun of them, and most of them are just so earnest, you know? So I think some people see that they’re just lonely guys with poor social skills and/or expectations and they empathize with them.

@MissAnthrope Oh, I see. I can’t really empathize because I have no idea how it feels to be socially awkward. I hope they found someone to love :)

It’s hard for me to believe that someone could actually be a subscriber for 25 years to both Playboy and The New Yorker. I mean, come on! One or the other, but both seems far fetched.

To answer the question, though, I found the video rather sad. The younger guys seemed to me to have an air of desperation about them, as if someone had tried to talk them into doing this but just barely succeeded. The older guys seemed to act as if they’d just discovered the latest “hip scene” and were all damn pleased with themselves to be a part of the “action.”

That’s awesome. I like hearing the sorts of things they feel like sharing about themselves. One of the guys sounded like he was representing a local law firm. “Are you that woman? Please give me a call.”

@MissAnthrope Sure they’re not studs, but for the most part they aren’t that different from tons of people I’ve known. If I thought everyone that isn’t great at public speaking or likes cats or most phases of data processing were losers I’d be an insufferable snob. Actually the data processing line was kinda hot. I’ve got some data he can process.

@PretentiousArtist Yes! Why is the guy in the viking costume? He thought it would attract someone? Aww…
And the guy that didn’t want a smoker looks like he was wearing a smoking jacket from back in the 50’s.

I feel torn between sad and funny here. These guys are being earnest, but the stuff they’re saying is no different than what you’d see on a match.com profile. It’s just easier for people to make themselves look good now when they go online dating.

I can’t watch it. :(

@chyna Don’t worry about the guy in viking costume. The costume will attract someone, the sort of woman he wants. It will be beautiful.

Hate to tell you, but by 1980 standards, most of those people (except for the Viking) were pretty normal looking for the time period. What do you think tats, facial piercings, and unnaturally dyed hair is going to look like 30 years from now? Or the anorexic Paris Hilton clones? Some of the way people look now only seems attractive because it’s a cloned look, and you’re used to seeing it every day.

Lots of people on plentyoffish.com don’t sound too much different.

Beautiful!

I guess the video dating service did work for him
It’s things like this that make me want to cry….excuse me for a moment.

1980, Los Angeles area, average age about 26 years old….yes, it could have been me. I would have been the guy with the long curly hair, probably clean shaven, in blue jeans, a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and maybe Earth Shoes, who had practiced his speech and came across with a bit of confidence and a big smile. Wait, there wasn’t a single guy that looked or acted like that. I laughed and I cried and was thankful I was not one of those guys. Actually, it is not something I would have ever considered doing….I am so much more a Craigslist Personals guy.
See ya….Gary/wtf

“refined, valley dude”

Some of the guys simply sounded rather shy and earnest; a few gave the impression they considered themselves god’s gift to women although clearly no woman had noticed yet ; some just seemed like idiots they may have also been completely earnest of course. I think sitting in front of a camera trying to sell yourself must be bloody hard! The video didn’t make me laugh I did smile several times though nor did I feel particularly sad, I think I felt more embarrassment for the guys than anything else.

It made me wonder if guys today are as clueless as those guys were. I mean, have men learned anything about women in the time since then, or are they still as sexist and unselfaware?

Judging by some of the questions I’ve seen here, I’d say the desires of the other sex are just as opaque.

I don’t think we’d see the same cluelessness and discomfort today as we did back then. Today, so many more people are used to being a media producers in their own homes. In a time where anyone can put a video online, so many more people are used to talking to the camera.

I think that experience makes it less likely that people these days will put up an awkward account of themselves. Still, when you don’t know who you’re talking to, how do you know what to say?

Certainly there is much to laugh at in this video. Some of the guys seem so pathetic. The hair. The clothes. It’s old. It’s passe. It’s funny. But it’s also a sign of how things have changed.

@daloon, I would have to say, “Human nature remains constant.” Guys today are just as clueless. Women, too.

Times have not really changed, just fashions.

I’m just glad I will never have to date, ever again.

Damn! That video of my posse was intended for internal use only.

Here were my thoughts

1) just looking at this question means that the majority of these videos are between 25 and 30 years old. As such I don’t feel ‘bad’ for any of the people…I see each guy’s “look” and I think they look asinine, but everyone looked asinine in this timeframe. So, I can’t feel bad about it, and the only humor I can derive from it is in general, ha ha, what were WE collectively thinking back then to think this is how people should dress/appear?

2) A video dating service based in California at this time would probably have tens of thousands of clients, each recording probably ½ an hour of video. We have 5 minutes compiled from no more than 20 guys, we see a few seconds of what each one says (at most) here and there. This is the definition of taking something out of context. So it’s hard to pass judgement on any of these guys (with a few exceptions of those who said very specific things for which there is NO acceptable context), so I don’t feel sorry for any of them…they were looking for something out of life and they went out to find it in a way that worked for them.

3) I have to wonder if these people signed any sort of waiver that covers this use, or how someone got ahold of all these privately recorded videos and used them for something for which they clearly were never intended, so I feel a little bad for anyone if this comes back and embarasses them, that’s hardly fair. I also however think it’s probably unlikely that anyone is going to recognize someone from this AND pass judgement on them because of it, certainly not a concern that’s going to make me lose any sleep.

So in summary, I don’t really feel anyone is hurt by this, I think there was a degree of pathos, but since it’s not really at someone’s expense…it’s just too far removed by history and anonymity to be mean spirited…I don’t feel bad laughing at the parts which are funny (and there are definitely some very funny parts).

What makes me laugh is thinking how some of these guys who expressed a “no fatties’ condition are undoubtedly now married to a woman who isn’t exactly the tight young thang they married.

I’m in the embarrased for them and sad camp.

I didn’t feel especially sorry for these guys; they just didn’t feel comfortable in front of a camera, even the ones who came off as brash, and that means the director/producer messed up (IMPO as a producer).

The guy who emphatically put off smokers seemed to have that “Weird Al” thing going on; if you changed his clothes, took off those glasses and shaved off the ‘stache, he’d be good-looking. And I hope you all know that Al Yankovic is astoundingly good-looking, by the way. Mr. Anti-smoker and the brown-haired man in the light-colored suit jacket seemed the most naturally confident to me.

@aprilsimnel – Holy crap.. Al Yankovic is good looking!

@MissAnthrope – That’s a wig covering his natural curly hair, but, yeah, that face is his. I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating Cheez Whiz!

@aprilsimnel – I really had no idea.. that’s great. :P

I didn’t feel bad for these men either. This is their personality, take it or leave it. Some of the responses were comical (come on the guy in the viking suit, “hi mom”, etc..) but overall I wasn’t laughing out loud.