What are some nice ways to distance myself from an obnoxious neighbor?

Come to the door one day with a dismembered human hand and carry the conversation on as usual.

By your side should be the Rottweiler that severed the hand in the first place.

Just be polite and tell him you are busy. Eventually he’ll get the hint. The newness of the situation will wear off after a while and hopefully he will find more friends.

burn his/her house down

Set up visiting hours/days. Politely tell the man that you enjoy his company but you are such a busy family that you have certain visiting days. If he wants to visit he should come by Th from 1–3 etc.. You’d have to put up with him during that time but at least it’ll be once a week vs. every day. And if he comes by or calls on a different day then repeat yourself.

Scenario:
Bob stops by or calls.
You: Hi Bob, thanks for stopping by. We are supy busy with family stuff right now. We have a visiting day on Thursdays, from 1–3 if you want to come over then.

(just repeat it until he gets it).

If that method doesn’t work you’ll probably have to be more “harsh” and simply tell him that you don’t enjoy his company (somehow).

Gah! I had the same problem a couple of years ago! I stand by what jonsblond said… be polite and eternally “busy” and he will probably leave you alone eventually. That’s what happened with my situation ;)

Tell him if he doesn’t stop you’re going to tell his mom. Gets em’ every time.

“I’m sorry but now just isn’t a good time”. Be firm but understanding.

How old is this person in question?

I had the same issue with an elderly neighbor. She called at all hours of the day. She would call the second she saw my bedroom light come on in the morning to just chat. She talked endlessly about all her ailments and got quite explicit. She had a husband and 3 daughters lived within minutes of her, so I was just basically someone new to chew my ear off. It got so bad that I eventually stopped answering my phone and after about a year, she stopped calling.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic We’re talking about a 70 year old man… that’s why I feel so bad about avoiding him =/

@shockrocks Treat him with respect, but if your family indulges him in this, these events will only happen more frequently.

@The_Compassionate_Heretic You’re probably right. Very wise, indeed!

And thanks everyone for the answers… they’ve been super helpful ;)

70? Now I feel kinda bad. He’s probably looking for a friend; he feels to be alone in the world and is reaching out.

I say give him a hand as a token of friendship.

I’m with @Grisaille. It’s more difficult when there’s the possibility of loneliness with age as a factor.

How about you combat this by stopping over at his house instead. Maybe you could sit and have coffee with him once or twice a week (or someone in your household could).

@Grisaille That’s what I thought at first too! But then once he started bringing his friends and family over to my house (eating so much out of my fridge without permission and taking record dumps in my toilet), I started to feel kind of like he was mooching or something.

@SpatzieLover I tried going over to his house last week and the smell about knocked me over. He has like 7 cats and it smells horrible!

I hate to sound like I’m demonizing a “sweet old man”... but he’s driving me bananas!

Exept him or her, everones different

@shockrocks Well if he’s bringing over friends then he has definitely crossed the line. It’s time to put the kibosh on his visits then via some of the above advice.

If confrontation bothers you, then stop answering the door.

Start doing all the things he does to you but times two!

@shockrocks LOL!! he took a “record dump” in your toilet? Oh man!! That’s hilarious!!

@fiendxxxclub It’s funny now lol… but it was disgustingly irritating at the time! :p

flaming bag of poop through the window.

@eponymoushipster Good idea, but that would endanger the multitude of cats.

Maybe a large dog tied off the front porch would work best.

If he already has “friends and family” he is taking unfair advantage of you. Tell him you appreciate your privacy, and you will expect him to respect it in the future, and call before coming over. Give him your phone number, and screen your calls.

Answer the door in a robe (you can throw it on over your clothes, pull the neck up and just open the door a tad) with a towel on your head and tell him you’re busy. Come to the door with a spoon in your hand and tell him you’re busy. Eventually he’ll get the message if you’re always busy. In the meantime, don’t underestimate the effectiveness of props.

@avvooooooo Home Alone props are more my style…loud music with standups dancing behind the curtains/blinds

@avvooooooo Clever! I second the use of props!

I wouldn’t feel too sorry for him if he has friends and family. That is quite different from my original thought that he had no one to talk to. If this person is not someone you would want to be friends with, and he is pushing himself on you, just stop answering the door and phone. Remember, you get to choose your friends.

Wow. I had an answer for you until I learned he was 70. My mom is around the same age. She talks and talks and talks and talks. I can put the phone down and make dinner and she hasn’t stopped talking long enough to even know whether I am on the phone or not. I know that she drives other people batty, too. I love my mom, don’t get me wrong here.

I’m extremely protective of my space simply because I had my boundaries violated as a child so much (see above…lol!) I have been in situations with a lot of people who just “drop in” to see the “new neighbor”...me. And I just enjoy my solitude. I was a caretaker for so much of my life…I actually enjoy, enjoy, enjoy my own company!

I just put the phone on an answering machine to screen calls. I draw the curtains (in the front anyway) and leave a sign on the door that says, ” Please do not disturb. I am busy working on a project unless you have a package for me to sign for, then please knock.” Now, let me tell you that this has not always worked. I had one friend who thought, “Of course….SHE COULDN’T MEAN ME…” And she knocked and knocked and then came round the back yelling for me. And yes, I DID mean HER, too. But I still did not answer, and eventually she got the message. Get an answering machine, make a sign and put it on the door…seriously.

The other thing…is this….call the local Social Services for the Elderly or another organization that helps the elderly and ask them to please call him or check in on him. Tell them that he needs to get involved in activities since he is new to the neighborhood and that frankly, you don’t have the time to do that. Perhaps a local church has activities for the elderly. Although, to tell you the truth, my best girl friend (the sign is NEVER out for her) has her mom at home with her and her mom just is so young at heart that the idea of doing “elderly” things appalls her. But either way, this man needs to have some friends and activities.

Hope this helps….it’s okay to say, “No.”

@DarlingRhadamanthus Thanks for your help! I agree that I’m going to have to bite the bullet and take some (hopefully diplomatic) action.

Who knew I could get so many great suggestions on the internet?

I think you should take him over some baked goods, and say “we need to talk.” Tell him that you are working a lot/going through a lot of issues/having a tough time, and you really appreciate his overtures of friendship, but you are really strapped for time, and his dropping by unannounced is making you extremely anxious and putting a strain on your relationships. And it has to stop until “things get better.” (which is about the same time hell freezes over.)

My neighbor (who’s not that old) talks my ear off, the same stories over and over, and finally had to tell him that if I didn’t get in the house right that very minute, I was going to pee on his shoes. That pretty much put a stop to him chatting, unless I’m the one that stops him outside.

Try spending 4–5 hours at his house , being nice, for a week. He should be tired of you by then. I like the severed hand suggestion better, though.