How does one say sorry for breaking a promise to an 8 year old?

Start now, and lie about why you started late.

Time doesn’t feel the same to little kids. You don’t say how long it’s been, but it isn’t too late. Send the letter. Do not make excuses, and don’t lie. Just express your interest and affection, tell her some stories about your own life and remind her of some times you shared with her, and encourage her to write back.

And be a little cautious about what you promise next. Rather than saying what (you think) you will do, just do it.

Send whatever you can to your niece/nephews asap. Don’t say anything at all about the absence. Honestly, they don’t care. They just want to know you’re there. Explain the real reason for the delay to your brother if you feel you need to, and maybe that way in the future if the kids ask ”How come Aunt/Uncle Falkor hasn’t written?” your brother can tell them how busy you are, but that you’re thinking of them (i.e. cover for you) so they don’t feel rejected.

Kids may never forget major broken promises, but I’m sure they’ll let you slide on this one if you get on it immediately. They will remember if you continue not to write, but you can still follow through with your promise. That will mean more to them than any “lateness” ever could.

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From personal experience: There’s a distinctly different sense of (or lack of, in cases with no follow-through) closure between the following two incidents.

When I was 4 and my dad took the last red and white, egg-white glazed, candy-cane cookie, which I had lovingly crafted with the help of my mom, and broke it in half because he was concerned about letting me eat such a large cookie.

Another time, my mother gathered us (my dad, little brother, and myself) together to relate a humorous story involving a “Jersey Cow,” built up our expectations, and then got upset over something extremely small and stormed off like a spoiled child, forgetting the story in it’s entirety shortly thereafter.

In the first, my dad realized what he had done, and apologized profusely. He even tried to mend the cookie for me. I was upset, but understood he had good intentions, because he was honest. To this day, I can only remember the hurt and confusion my mom’s exit caused, and can’t help but wonder what’s so funny about “Jersey Cows.”

Just get involved. They only understand action and have short and quite selective memories so don’t beat yourself up. And they don’t have to be too personally involved with your issues and shouldn’t be. They’re just kids.

Just to reiterate: Write, right now. It will all be ok.

Wow, thanx you all, I feel a lot more confident to write them from the heart, You all have been incredibly helpful!!!... Here I go…..

Buy interesting post cards when you see them, and keep them at work. Mail one a week, in addition to answering his letters.

Ice cream.

@Falkor, please come back and tell us that you did it.

Alright, did it. Children are incredibly forgiving, plus her mother is an inspirational teacher of values and morals. Sent her the pen-pal journal I promised before I moved and she wrote me back! Thanks so much for all the help and support!!! I am actually home for thanxgivin,’ so we have discussed the “broken promise.” She definately never forgot what I had promised her. I could tell she lost some hope in me, but I will work to regain it back! Her name is Ashley, she is truely a beautiful and compassionate child. Hope everyone has had a warm thanxgivin!

Yay!