What's the most important thing your parents don't understand about you?

That I don’t understand everything about my parents.

My parents just don’t understand that I will never be religious like they are. As a result, any conversations about life and death turn into more awkward scenarios than they should be. I have at least gotten used to pretending to say grace or pray at family get togethers. But why can’t they accept that I just don’t believe?

sometimes parents just dont understand!

That no matter how much my mom nags me, or how much my dad tries to “show me the right way”.... I will never be able to parallel park =/

That I’m not going to be producing them a grandson anytime soon.

(lolgay)

My parents always assume that I don’t know anything about life because I’m only 17.
They’ve never once weighed what I’ve been through in the last 10 years or understood why I am the way I am… but I’m still not old enough to understand life.
Annoying.

that I don’t agree with them about healthcare (I think MD’s are perfectly fine, but they think chiropractors are the way to go). This is really important cuz I need to get an inhaler for my asthma!

I’m not sure they knew that they were physically and emotionally abusive, although before he died, but after he suffered from Alheimer’s my dad apologized to me. And even though he had forgotten what the apology was for, I have been able to forgive him, I still miss him.

I was glad when my mom died, and I’m glad she’s still dead.

@pdworkin My parents still undermine the fact that what they say to me (the negative things) have an effect on who I am…. Hmph.

The music I listen to.

My mom doesn’t understand that I am not a clone of her, and we have far less in common than she’d like to believe. Thank you Jesus.

My dad doesn’t understand that we don’t visit as often as he’d like because traveling across the country with three small children is hell. He is retired, in good health,and only has to worry about himself. If he’d taken us on vacation when we were kids, he’d know that he visits us more than we visit him because we value our sanity. And because buying five plane tickets, renting a full-size car, and booking a hotel room big enough for a family of five is very expensive. If I’m going to shell out that kind of moolah, I want to go somewhere a bit more enticing than Alabama. Sorry, Dad, but a yearly visit isn’t going to happen unless we win the lottery or inherit some big bucks. Whew, it felt good to get that off my chest.

My mom doesn’t understand why I prefer to wear my pants (shorts, swimsuits, or whatever) lower on my hips, as opposed to way up above my belly button, like she does. It totally bugs her, so much sometimes that she will be openly critical about it. It just feels more comfortable for me to wear them that way.

that i´m not trying to be anyone else. Just myself

@chicadelplaya Maybe they annoy her because once a woman has had kids, those pants become a glaring reminder of what her midsection used to look like.

Pretty much everything. They don’t understand me. They don’t know me. They know “me” as a child, like 5 or 6 years old. That’s all they talk about. They won’t recognize that I’m an adult, and I hate it. For those reasons. I can’t wait to leave here.

I think we can all agree that it upsets us that our parents don’t understand that they don’t understand everything about us.

I’m sure the parents among the collective can understand that they feel as if they know everything about their child, particularly if they are still young. Danger is that not many people realize that there is a point in time where there is a massive shift, a schism where the child becomes independent from creator and becomes… wait for it… a separate person with their own thoughts and ideas.

That’s all. I think that’s amorphic enough to be true for all of us, forever.

That I’ll never be religious, and that doesn’t make me hopeless or damaged. That I don’t want to hear about their conservative backward views. That I don’t believe in their brand of femininity. That they did do quite a bit wrong in raising me even though I “turned out alright”. That they don’t understand any of my passions or interests. That now I just want things to be polite between us because I don’t think they’ll ever get any of these things.

Me and my parents are basically on the same page for once. We were always in a battle of some sort when I was younger and still living at home. But the sooner I realized they only wanted the best for me, the sooner our relationship improved.

That parenting is more about the parents being there for the kids than the kids being there for the parents.

They don’t really understand the way that has to usually be done.Like if they would make a dicison,they wouldnt lets us have a say and they just don’t get how I don’t like it.=[

That I am a vegetarian. Seriously, it’s been over 20 years, and my Mom still thinks it’s a phase.

I’ve learned to diplomatically sidestep conversations on the whole meat-is-oh-so-necessary-and-nutritious-soapbox and have offered her a cigarette before when she offers to cook some sort of meat-based recipe for me… she hates cigarettes :)
Of course, I don’t smoke anymore, so I guess I need to find another convenient stab at humor…

Father: that college degrees and marrying money wouldn’t have made me much happier, just him, his ego fed to say his kid did this & that.

Mother: that as much as it hurts when it doesn’t work out, I believe in love, I believe in trying, I’m not ashamed to say I thrive with loving companionship and prefer it to being single.

Well, my parents don’t know every little tiny thing there is to know about me, but that’s because I don’t reveal every little tiny thing there is to know about me.

From what I have revealed, I don’t think there is anything they don’t understand. The last thing I had to reveal was that I was gay and they understand that fine. No, my parents and I don’t agree on every issue there is, but I don’t think that’s an issue of understanding.

that i’m not really a slacker…. i just pretend like i’m one

That I am a robot.
They only think the conceived me

@benjaminlevi LOL!!!!

My mom will never understand that I didn’t want kids because of how she treated me as a kid.

More than one thing actually. My mother it seems fails to realize that I have autonomy at all. In her mind it’s just an assumption that every family member agrees with her. That kind of indifference has been maddening but I have finally come to the realization that I will be who I am.

If a child speaks and is not heard does he exist?
Now I know the answer and it has nothing to do with acknowledgment. I exist regardless of recognition and/or acceptance..

That I’m alive.

@rangerr
I wish I had your parents. It would have been easier.. ~_~

My parents don’t understand that I’m not like them.

My poor mother doesn’t understand why I don’t believe in God or a higher power. I’ve tried to explain it to her, but she ends up getting mad and telling me she doesn’t know what she’s going to do when she gets to heaven and I’m not there. It’s really hard not to laugh, but I told her, I doubt she’ll worry to much about it since she’ll be in heaven and have no worries anyhow.

Hahahahaha!!!! ::wipes eyes:: I can’t. Where would I even begin?

They dont understand that theyre my parents? haha

Two things actually:

1) That my will to discover the cosmos is my greatest inspiration for getting up in the morning. I get laughed at whenever I tell my family members I want to be an astrophysicist

2) That I’m not religious at all and I care very little about heritage. I just want to live my life and form my own traditions and beliefs.

That I need some emotional support about things, instead if I am crying or something all I get is “what the hell is your problem”? Or “whats wrong with you”, just comments that hurt my feelings even worse and dont help me one bit

My mother has never understood how her actions and inaction hurt me throughout my childhood, and continue to affect my adulthood. Now she doesn’t understand why I can’t have a relationship with her anymore.

If she’d understood the first part, maybe there wouldn’t have been a second part.

My mom doesn’t understand why I procrastinate so profusely. I want to enjoy myself before it’s too late.

Also, although I’ve told her, I don’t think she understands that I’m atheist. Either she pretends not to know, or she simply doesn’t understand.

I wish they understood how much of a relief to my body and mind my medicinal weed use has been.. All they see is the drug.. Just because a person smokes it dosent mean they are a “druggie”! I’m one of the most responsible and mature people I know and I’m only 21. I’m well on my path to make a name for myself.. But all they see is the drug.. – LB

My dislike of religion and my sprituality…and they’re scared to even go there.

Dad: That his political views are not everyine’s political views and just because you don’t think/believe as he does, you’re not wrong! He is why I don’t like to discuss politics. Also, asking why I didn’t get a 100% on a test instead of the 99% that I did get was very discouraging. (That’s one example. There are others.) He meant to give me an “I’ll show you and I’ll get a 100%” attitude. All it did was tell me that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t be good enough. He didn’t understand that encouragement would go much farther with me than poking and annoying.

Mom: Not all boys/men are “out for just one thing.” She really believed that men and women couldn’t be friends. I have some good male friends that I have no interest in sexually, and I’m pretty sure that they’re not interested in me. Not being a mind reader I can’t be completely sure. Also, knowing about some of the trauma that happened to her when she was in her late teens would have gone a long way to understanding her better. Not knowing until after she had died didn’t do either of us any good. I wish she had understood that, and that, in my early 20’s, I was old enough to hear it.

@janbb amen to that!
My father passed away without knowing that I am not straight or that I dont apply the term woman to myself or how much activism I’m involved in on behalf of the LGBT and intersex communities…these were all things deemed by my mother to be ‘damaging’ to his ‘view of his daughter’ and so I never told him…I’ve told these things to my mother but she chooses to invalidate them and ignore me…she also doesn’t understand that what she thinks is best for me and my kids simply isn’t. and when it is I let her know…she also can’t understand why my husband and I have an open marriage…but many of these things are not specific to my mother

they don’t understand that I am agnostic. They probably never will understand and I am ok with that.

@chyna
My mom will never understand that I didn’t want kids because of how she treated me as a kid.
That’s quite poignant and I must say there’s some aspect of truth in that for me as well. At times I’ve wondered about the difficulty of bringing children int my family dynamic and if I was prepared to do that. Of course my parents are not the cause of all my problems but I feel like I barely survived with my identity and so am not yet sure how to proceed with the upbringing of another generation. That’s not to say I never will, and being a man there is always possibility, but I haven’t yet at 42.

My mom doesn’t understand that I want to be the complete opposite of her.

My parents will never understand that the reason we aren’t letting them see the kids as much is because of the way they are running the same head trip on my son as they did on me. I wonder if I should tell them?

If you want to do, but it probably won’t change things much. Sort out your priorities and decide what are the most important things for you to be dealing with right now. (In reference to previous posts.)

That I don’t believe I should give my father respect based solely on the fact that he’s my biological parent when he hasn’t earned it, and that i will be happy when he’s dead. Also music.

the yelling and put downs made my confidence 0%

Well, my parents don’t seem to understand that I am very in touch with my emotions and I can get hurt very easily. Things that they don’t seem to be important can really affect me in various ways. I cry, I hurt, I show those emotions and they don’t seem to understand how a guy can act in that manner. =\

@Resonantscythe It’s not right to be happy about anyones death…

@bean Some people just deserve to die for doing shitty things to other people.

@Resonantscythe D: it’s not ok to be happy about some one’s death… no mattar how bad they treated you… death isn’t something to speak of so lightly… but what ever he put you through I hope you can escape and be away from it all some day

@bean Its perfectly fine to wish someone dead as long as you don’t do anything about it. Please don’t try and shove your morals off on other people as far as what they should and should not feel.

@avvooooooo so…. you think it’s ok to hold strong grudges and wish for some one to die?
okay…... I hope you don’t regret what you can’t take back….. some times it’s best to not wish for anything, nasty people usualy get their up comance… I wasn’t shoving any morals anywhere… or telling any one how to feel… feel what you life, I dont care….

@bean Not everyone has the same opinions. Respect that, please. Don’t tell us that we are wrong for feeling one way about a certain subject.

@rangerr I never said you were wrong, it was my opinion to suggest that you shouldn’t :S
and when I said ‘nasty people’ I meant the people who treated you wrong… you should respect my opinion if you believe no one has the same perspective… I wasn’t been rude…
But as I said, it’s an opinion, respect that and move on…. no ones forcing you to feel anything.

@bean I understand that its hard for people to get where I’m coming from, but I meant it. Bad as it sounds, I know I won’t regret saying that. Is isn’t small things, he’d have to be a completely different person on a multitude of levels for things to have been different.

@Resonantscythe it’s not hard at all when you put it like that :)
don’t get me wrong, i don’t think i have been in a situation to feel that way about some one like that… and thats probably why I feel it is not a good thing to wish for some ones death… but you seem calm and relaxed explaining where your coming from and I understand that, so I hope things work out for you, best of luck <3

Thank you

@bean “so…. you think it’s ok to hold strong grudges and wish for some one to die?”

Yes. I think its perfectly fine for people to hold grudges as long as it accomplishes a purpose for them and does not impair them in life. If its truly unhealthy and impacts relationships elsewhere, its not that great. But if someone is able to wish someone dead as a somewhat healthy expression of anger, its perfectly fine. My extensive study of mental health does not tell me otherwise. I have no regrets and fully believe in karma. Wishing for people to get what they deserve is, for me, simply believing that karma exists, trusting it to prevail in the end, and that people will truly get their comeuppance, nasty or not.

@avvooooooo
Wishing for people to get what they deserve is, for me, simply believing that karma exists
It’s actually creating more karma.

That I am not 12 and the being out after it gets dark is not a problem. I know it’s a parental thing, but it’s hard getting them to understand that.

@py_sue
It’s way past your bed time young lady

@SeventhSense LOL
I’m actually 24 :)

Don’t you talk back to me young lady. :P