What do you need to happen to deal with your childhood traumas?

My personal ones? Hm…
I think I’m pretty much over them, really.

Edit: Hang on, there’s one thing that might count as a trauma that still gets in the way. I still sometimes feel intimidated by strangers for good no reason. (It’s one of those wrong and bothersome gut feelings I mentioned elsewhere. Not sure whether it’s really a trauma, quite possibly I was always that way.)
In order to resolve that I would probably need to develop a better understanding what most people are like.

One of the first steps is forgiving whoever caused the trauma [To yourself, not to them in person]. By forgiving them, it gets rid of a lot of pain and anger so that you can move forward.

In my opinion your childhood traumas are irrelevant except as a matter of personal interest when you are seeking reasons for certain behaviors.

They can no longer be the proximate cause of things you do, or refuse to do, as they are distal, not proximal.

Far better to work on the behavior itself, and change it, and then ruminate about the past as a matter of interest.

My childhood traumas made me who I am. They are now sort of like old scars. They are a part of me, and often quite visible, but they are no longer a source of pain and shame. They remind me of lessons learned, and they now enrich me, add character, and depth to my being that I wouldn’t otherwise have.
Nothing had to “happen” for me to get to this point, in an external way. I chose acceptance (Might as well, you can’t change the past anyway) and things began to make sense from there.

I don’t know if I project trauma onto others, but it would be really, really, really awesome for me if I could hear my mother apologize for her mistakes. She didn’t make many big mistakes, but there were a few doozies.

“I’m sorry” goes a whole lot further than “I didn’t take my perfect pill.”

I have no solution to that, but there is one thing that keeps me going -

—- that there is no such thing as the past or future, only the present.

(=

@Likeradar: I understand your issue about your mother, but you don’t want to dwell too much on something that may never happen. If you are using too much energy and introspection waiting for the apology, you are putting your own life on hold (in some ways) and granting her far too much power.

Assume she will never apologize. Then feel pleasure when you are able to say to someone, “I’m sorry.” “You have a good point.” “I made a mistake.”

@higherground By the way, welcome to Fluther! It’s great to have you here.

@janbb Thank you ! (=

I agree with @pdworkin. I try to focus on my behavior and how to improve that. I have started to explore my childhood out of personal interest, but I’m ultimately responsible for my own actions here in the present.

of course, if the person who caused my childhood “traumas” were to be swallowed by a sink-hole…well that’s just gravy.

I don’t know what I need to happen to deal with them, but I try to not let them affect my day-to-day life, and they usually don’t.

I’m still dealing with mine. I thought I had gotten past most of the trauma, then I had a child. Wow! Nope, there are still open wounds I need to heal and work through. I have the unfortunate/fortunate situation of owning my home with my mom. it’s great & awful all at the same time In her relationship with our son, she has stirred some memories I still need ot work through.

I wouldn’t change a thing about my childhood. As @Judi stated above, they’ve made me who I am, how I think, and have served as a reminder for me to remain present for my husband and child.

I’m still dealing with mine. I thought, like others, that I had gotten over most of them. Lately I have noticed that sometimes I will have a hard time trusting the people that are close to me, and that goes back to issues with my family.
I’ve realized that first I need to accept that I can’t change the past and that my family, at the time, believed that what they were doing was a way of protecting me, not hurting me. And after that I need to just forgive them and let it go (quite hard to do :) But like I said I’m working on it

Lots and lots of therapy. Admitting what the trauma was, and how it truly affected me and how it almost destroyed me. I don’t know how I overcame it. I thought I was truly a crazy person for a long time, probably am..but not because of what I was doing lol. That all worked for me, it may not work for others.
it was nothing done by relatives

@cinddmel Welcome to Fluther!

For me, lots and lots of therapy, eventually followed by breaking from the people who caused the harm (and continued to do so).

@augustlan Getting out of toxic relationships? That’s what I’m working on now.

@SpatzieLover Good luck! It’s extremely difficult when they are members of your immediate family.

@augustlan Yep. That’s my husband’s & my problem. We wish we could move far away & start over. Maybe some day…

I’ve recovered from my childhood traumas. I am now working on my adult traumas.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to “deal” with them. Instead, I ignore them and, coincidentally, push those who have caused me mental harm out of my life.

There’s too much knowledge and mystery and the universe to be preoccupied with other, less relevant things.

just keep going to the counselling sessions and keep questioning my beliefs

All I needed was time. Counseling didn’t give me any information I didn’t already know. I once projected onto others, but not anymore. It simply just took me the time to deal.