I have an intense fear of talking to people I do not know on the phone.. How do I get over this?

Try some liquid courage.

Don’t do that. ^^

@LKidKyle1985 You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for that damned train.

I don’t even answer my phone, at all.
Pretend youre talking to one of your family members.

@Tink1113 I can’t do the pretending thing.

Also, I have to ask. If you were injured in a car accident, like say you hit a tree in the middle of nowhere. Would you have trouble calling 911?

@LKidKyle1985 Probably not. Hm.

Well its not much different from that, you are calling for a purpose, not just a friendly chat. Try to think of it as business and that the person on the other end talks to thousands of people a day and won’t remember who you were 5 minutes after you called.

I’ll Let you all know when I finally call the bank.

good luck

Caller ID

If I was a telemarketer, I would remember everything anyone said most likely.
Talking to people on the phone more often should help you though, but I wouldn’t know because I also have a fear of using phones.

@Samurai Glad to know that I’m not alone.

Imagine them as cartoon characters.

I know how you feel. I do not like to answer the phone.

Still havent called.

@Samurai I’ve worked on the phones at a pizza place before and believe me after so many people you really don’t remember anything specific. Its just another voice on the other end of the phone.

Perhaps you should just practise with a close friend or sibling. Just as public speaking is frightening, but can be overcome with practise; so too can speaking on the phone. Do some simulations, and then slowly progress to the real thing. Bon chance.

Paging @pdworkin

My husband calls it ‘phonophobia’. It might help if you not only run through how the conversation will likely go, but even write down what you want to say. That way you have a script to follow if you find yourself getting flustered. Sometimes I even practice saying everything a time or two before the call.

A. Google img search a name (e.g. Bob or Sarah) and look at the img when you call. You can pretend that’s the person you’re talking to. Make up fun facts about Bob (e.g. he loves eggplants and nautical knots).
B. Introduce yourself as someone you aren’t. “Hello, Pizza Man? Yes, this is Cornelius Vanderbilt here, and I’d like a large mushroom and olive.” You don’t know them- now they won’t know you!
C. Use a voicechanger to disguise the features of your voice. Add ransom demands to the end of every call to gain the upper hand in the situation.

Seriously though, I like @NewZen‘s and @Dog‘s ideas.

This is a common phobia, and like all phobias it is very amenable to treatment. A brief (6–8 week) course of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy will cure it for good. If you want to find a good practitioner, look on line for an LCSW, or contact your local Mental Health division. It is not expensive, it is not demanding, it works, and you needn’t continue to suffer.

@pdworkin the pager system works!

So when are you going to take care of your arachnophobia?

Write it down and read it.

I hate talking on the phone. I’ve decided it’s a byproduct of ADD. In need the visual cues from people’s faces to maintain a conversation. Otherwise, I lose my place in the conversation. My relationship with the phone is totally functional. If I need to talk with someone, I call them up and ask to get together.

I’d get a telemarketing job and expose myself to having to do it as much as possible if it were me. Then again, I’m one who works to get over a lot of things… other than needles. Still can’t deal with needles, but there are too many traumatic experiences with that one.

@pdworkin LCSWs are not the only ones who do, or who are qualified to do, CBT. I realize that your own division of the counseling profession is the one you’re going to recommend people to, but sometimes that’s not always best.

I recommend LCSWs for financial reasons, and because a PhD is not necessary to deal with common phobias. What do you mean by best? What is better? What you you recommend and why? How could an LCSW be harmful in this situation? Don’t just drop your little poison bombs, explain yourself.

@pdworkin Never! What arachnophobia?

@pdworkin Equally good are other licensed counselors and therapists from other degree programs. MFTs, LPCs, and a couple of others. Those are just two off the top of my head that are equally qualified to deal with this kind of issue.

I understand that you’re interested in the Social Work field and see that as the be-all, end-all of mental health care. Its not. Its not always the best, though it can be, and many LCSWs are not, in fact, as trained or as well-supervised in training as people with other degrees. This I know for a fact. What really matters is the individual counselor, not the degree.

Take a chill pill. I didn’t drop a “poison bomb,” I told you there are other options. That’s not a crime or a personal attack. I would appreciate it if you don’t choose to send another obscene PM just because I told you something you don’t care to hear.

An obscene PM? Are you hallucinating, or just being libelous?

@pdworkin Go look at my profile. Its still there from 2 months ago, it might still be visible to you.

I wouldn’t sit here and lie about something that was so stupid to begin with. You disagreed with me and then went and sent that, which I prefer not to quote.

@naivete I’m sorry your question got shoved so far off the track by a trivial personal dispute. The main thing I want to emphasize is that you needn’t continue to suffer. CBT can help you, no matter who the practitioner is, and I hope you will seek help.

@pdworkin My point, that there are many qualified practitioners and not just ones that hold a particular degree, is valid. The “dispute” started when you chose to attack me instead of simply asking for clarification.

There are many people with many different degrees that can help with phobias. The important thing is to talk to someone who specializes in phobias, not to find someone with a particular degree.

Nor is CBT the only way to deal with phobias, but that’s an entirely different subject with alternatives that I know you won’t acknowledge since you’ve found your “magic solution.”

.. You guys are intense.

Sorry. There is a history of anger there. It shouldn’t have gotten into your Question.

[Mod Says:] Flame off folks. Stick to the topic. All personal or off-topic quips will be removed.

Mucho Gracias, @Dog

I would do what PandoraBoxx said – write it down. My kids were always scared to call someone on the phone. Sometimes they still are (17 and 19) but I always had them write down what they wanted to say. It definitely helped.

I am not a huge fan of the phone, worrying about those huge gaps of silence. But we all need to do it. Sometimes the pizza guy doesn’t want to be talking on the phone either, so I make a joke and catch him off guard.

Good luck! I know you can do it!

@autumn43 I’m 17 and I was trying to get my mom to call the Bank for me today. She told me she wasn’t going to. Now I’m stuck without knowing what my balances are.

When the person says

‘This is ______. how can I help you?’
Tell them: Hi. I need to know what my balances are and I need some help with resetting my password.’

That most likely is going to be the hardest thing you will have to say in the conversation. The person will ask some questions and then tell you what you need to do next and they will be happy to help you!

Don’t be afraid! Your Mom is doing this for you so that you will be able to handle things like this in the future and you will be more confident. Trust me – after you do it a few times, you will get better at it. My kids always wanted me to sit near them when they were making the call, or they put the phone on speaker so I could hear. Maybe your Mom will help you do that! Good luck!

@naivete I did this sort of thing to/for my kids so they wouldn’t end up like me!! Something that helps me sometimes is to say to myself, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” In a case like this, it’s pretty much that you get nervous, maybe mix up your words, & worry that the bank person thinks you’re a weirdo. Just think about how many people they talk to every day; someone who is nervous doesn’t stand out as much as you might think. After you make the call, give yourself a reward, whether it’s a candy bar, time on the computer, or whatever. You will feel so good once you get this out of the way!!