How come it's so easy to give other people advice, but when you face the same problem, you don't know what to do?

Because its so much easier to tell others what they should do, than to actually do it yourself.

When we give advice to others, we have very little stake in the outcome so it’s easy. When it’s our own selves on the line, our perspective changes.

When I was in my late teens most of my friends were guys in their 40s and 50s. I accumulated so much “second-hand” experience that I thought I’d go through life without a hitch. And I had advice to spare. Except… when I found myself in situations for which I had ready made solutions, I found myself like a deer in headlights because this time it was about me and there was always the same question: what if things turn out different for me? I couldn’t afford to take the safe road so I went through trial and error just like everybody else.

I’ve been thinking this very same thing this evening.

I don’t know and and just throwing something around here but…maybe there are those people that can give themselves advice and take it and there are those (like me..and you) who can’t because we are (perhaps) intrinsically self-destructive when we are in a place of seeking advice… we could technically give ourselves advice but something subconscious prevents us from being able to do it….???

Plain & simple: I’m stubborn.

The third-person view is usually devoid of all the emotions the first-person view is party to. It’s way easier to give advice when you’re not the one feeling torn, or mired down, or unmotivated, or you name it.

Ever hear the expression it’s easier said than done? Bingo.

I don’t know why, but it seems like it works that way for almost everyone. It’s good to be able to ask other people.

@daloon I was just thinking about asking that question! My aunt gave me some advice a few days ago:
“I would also strongly suggest you organize your thoughts in your down time, just take a piece of paper and write down your objectives and outline how to get there, update it as things change, identify a goal, give yourself a reasonable time period to achieve it. I’m sure you have heard this before, but it will really clarify what you want to do and what you need to do to get there. It helps prevent you from wasting time in a job or with something else (people, activities, etc.). It helps you focus better. When I was working I did actually did this. I only did it for my job but I wished I had done it for some life objectives too. I think I would not have missed out on opportunities because my life was a bit disorganized. ”

It’s not a whole solution, but it’s good to have a first step. I am really demotivated right now.

It’s always easy to see for someone else what the logical thing for them to do is, but when it’s yourself you have all the irrational and emotional components that are blocking you from doing the “right” thing.

I don’t know the answer to this, but I do know that I’m suffering from the same exact problem as @daloon.

I freely give (what I think to be) sound advice here on Fluther and in real life. For the most part, my advice seems to work out great for those on the receiving end. I’ve recently helped a friend get out of a funk and set his life in motion again. And yet, I can’t seem to follow my own advice. I still procrastinate and waste time, disappointing those around me and myself. My life is slowly passing by and I’m doing little to steer it in a desirable direction.

As my brother told me on the phone today: I spend a lot of time helping others, but I don’t bother helping myself.

For me, the advice or experience I share on here is something I’ve lived through or dealt with first hand. In real life, I am really stubborn.

For example: I knew I wasn’t feeling well a couple of weeks ago. I decided to shrug it off, take some extra vitamins and not go to the doctor my doctor is a pain to make an appt with due to scheduling conflicts. So, I waited, and got worse. I couldn’t take it anymore and had to go to my nearest clinic on a Saturday AM. Turns out I not only had a sinus infection (which is what I suspected) but a double ear infection as well. Had I not been so damn stubborn I could’ve ended the sinus infection before it turned into an ear infection.

If someone posed a question wondering what they should do about a possible sinus infection, I’d recommend they get to a doctor. In this case, I did not heed my own advice or logic.

It is hard when you are in the situation yourself because emotion is attached to the decision probably. The example of a friend asking, “what would you tell me to do if I were in the situation,” did work for me once. I was dating an idiot. He was perfect on paper, and many things in common. But, he became controlling and had some violent tendencies which I won’t bore you with. My roommate at the time said to me, without me asking, “Jleslie, David is not treating you well and you seem unhappy. If it were me what would you think? Would you think I should stay with him?” I broke up several days later. She was right. She really helped me break up. I was afraid because I had had a horrible break up once before that left me miserable for a long time, I was afraid of going through that pain again, and I knew David was really into me, which felt good. Thank goodness she said what she did, and did not choose to just sit back and say nothing.

Physician advise thyself.

Or some such edict should apply, in most cases.

We don’t like to practice what we preach because it’s too hard. We are too often blinded by emotion… and laziness.

It’s far easier to be objective about somebody else’s situation.

Because knowing the right thing to do, and being able to do it are two entirely different things. It’s the same way with any activity.

I can tell and show my infant grandchild how to walk, but until he has the necessary experience and practice, he will not walk.

A computer programmer can tell me how to write a program, and explain it very carefully, but until I have experience programming, I will never learn.

I don’t know. I’ve never been unable to follow my own advice.

@YARNLADY wonderful illustrations

@Blondesjon are you pulling our collective leg?

@Adagio @Blondesjon is not the kind to kiss and tell. I think that’s another piece of his own advice that he is unable to not follow. The man has an impressive list of inabilities. He’s my role model!

Now that should muddy the waters a bit. ;-)

not bad

Summed up in the phrase “It’s easier said than done.”
Oops, somebody beat me to it.

@daloon Role model, you’re sure about that, you don’t mean hero do you?

@Adagio Both. I’ve just never told him about the role model part.

I think @Adagio hit the nail on the head by bringing up objectivity. It is far more objective to observe a situation from the outside when you are not fully effected by the situation. A careful analysis of a situation can be performed when observing the person and the situation at once. In the case of yourself, it is much harder to observe your behavior as it is simply something inherent and obvious to your observation. Any discrepancy from what you should be experiencing or doing can be glossed over by the subjective analysis.