Roommates are always home?
Asked by
Haleth (
18947
)
November 3rd, 2009
I’ve been happily living where I am for about a year. I have a busy work and school schedule and I visit family and friends a lot, so I’m usually only home about three nights a week and an occasional weekend day. Maybe their schedules changed or I’m just noticing this, but I’m starting to realize that every time I’m here, my roommates are always home and in the common areas. They’re doing perfectly innocent roommate-ey things, like cooking, watching tv, or playing video games, and they’re friendly when they see me. It’s still starting to drive me crazy. :(
I’m normally a pretty social person, but this reminds me of living in the freshmen dorms, and I’m turning into the creepy recluse who retreats to their room all the time. I hate being Mrs. Rochester! It’s so not me, I just feel tense with all these people around. It’s not like I can ask them to leave more, because we all pay rent and have a right to use the space. Plus it would be totally presumptuous. I know that my behavior lately is really off-putting/ giving them the heebie-jeebies. I like them and they have some great qualities- they’re all neat, fun, nice, great cooks, and reliable, so I’d rather keep living here. I just want some alone time to unwind sometimes. So what should I do/ how do I get over it?
Observing members:
0
Composing members:
0
10 Answers
get your own place so what if the bathroom is down the passage
I have earplugs and in-ear headphones and they usually work to help me forget other people are around. If those don’t work I may sometimes sleep for a night in the library on big comfy couches or I might take a walk.
Wear a blind fold and ear plugs.
Not much you can do, unfortunately. It’s part of having roomies. You’re right, it really wouldn’t be ok for you to ask them to be gone more often. Is there anywhere you can go, like a coffee shop or library, to be alone? I know it’s not the same as being home though.
I feel your pain- I moved in with the boy about 6 weeks ago after living alone for 5 years and although I love him dearly, he’s almost always home since he works from home. Luckily, I can talk to him about my need for “me time.”
You need to find somewhere to be to be alone that isn’t your apartment.
It sucks but that’s what happens when you have roommates. You can’t very well ask them to get out of their own living room so you can have the space for yourself. Luckily you still have your room. That gives you some privacy, right?
I know how you feel. This can get really claustrophobic. I think that once you have more than one or two people in the space, you have to just give up and realize there’s a 100% likelihood that the common spaces will always be occupied by at least one other person.
If you need to, establish rules that govern the space. You could propose some kind of weird calendar so that everyone writes down their schedules and then plan to spend time there when you know everyone won’t be home for awhile.
Take “nights” for the livingroom and ask if you can have (pick random) weeknight to host your guests alone – or say – “hey, I wanna have a date over – what’s the best night to be home alone for awhile?” Also, let them know when you won’t be around so they’re more inclined to return the favor.
Otherwise, start cobbling together a network of places outside of the house that you can hang out in.
When I had this sort of problem I would go hang out in the stacks at the University library. I think some of those study carrels had been deserted since 1945.
Otherwise, go with what @figbash said.
Go in the bathroom and run the shower. The white noise creates a sense of privacy and is a good way to keep focused while reading, writing, or to simply get deeper into your mind.
@WakeUp What a total waste of water. How about playing a CD or getting a white noise machine…
Answer this question 
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.
Composing members:
0
