Do women in general go for older men?

#3 and #4.
I think age matters when you’re below 40. After that, the age difference isn’t all that bad.

My theory is that young women don’t want to be seen with younger men but men want to be seen with a younger woman. I could always be wrong though.

#2— Only I’m married. My husband is only 1 year younger than I am, but unintentionally, my more involved dating adventures were usually with men who were 1 or 2 years younger than I. I was attracted to older men, too, though. There is an appeal of the mature man. I don’t have daddy issues, so I’m not sure why the appeal for me. It’s just sexy to be wanted by an older man, I think.

@ubersiren – “Daddy issues”. LOL too funny girl. lol

You indicated: “I am 32, however I get a lot of attention from women who are 10 years or more younger than me but not so many around my own age. Is this common and is there a reason for it?”

I’m not a woman, and make no pretense at speaking for women. However, based on what you wrote (above), there are two points that I feel are appropriate explanations:
1. You are not likely to get as much attention by women your age (32) because they are already “spoken for” or “tired of the game” (going out of their way to be attentive to men), or are “set in their ways” (not interested in changing the patterns set in their life that have been established by 32).
2. Many (not all) men in their 20’s are emotionally shallow, indecisive, stuck on themselves, self-absorbed climbers, not financially stable, players, lack sufficient empathy, agenda-less, cocky rather than confident (there is a difference and women sense it), uninterested in children, etc.
3. Women in their 20’s are looking for stability and character in men, while many men in their 20’s don’t make character building a priority in their lives.

It’s definately #5 for me.

So far I have only been attracted to and been in relationships with men that are twice or more my age.

For me, I belong to #3 and #4. (currently dating a guy same age as me, just a couple of months younger)

But this question made me think of a friend of mine, she is 20 this year but she has a thing for men above 28 years old . I asked her why and she just said – ‘there are guys above that age that have job stability . I expect him to give me SECURITY through his income . He has to have a monthly income of 3k .’

I think it is about security and stability . But IMO , age does not define stability or maturity for that matter .

Sigh .

My husband is a several months older than me, but I wish he was 3–5 years older. It’s totally for vanity reasons, he looks younger than me. I am generally attracted to men who are my age or older. Hard for me to imagine dating someone younger, I guess as I get older, I am 41, I can see maybe as young as 36?

I’m gay, not sure if any of these answers apply. :)

science states that girls emotionaly and physicaly grow up much faster than boys. it’s only natural that girls are interested in older man if they show maturity that boys don’t own.
However I recently liked boy 5 years younger than me (I am 23) but the truth is that i liked him because he was more manful and focused than some older man that i knew.

Wow, there are some great answers on here. It’s definitely painting a picture. Keep them coming but it looks to be a clear winner. Older men get more attention. Clearly. Kind of makes me happy :-)

#3 and #4 for me as well. I’m 21 and in college. A lot of the guys I meet that are my own age are… idiots. They typically fall into the “jock/frat boy” group and I’m not interested in that. Now, show me a nice, geeky, cute engineering grad student and I’m smitten.
My last boyfriend was a nice, geeky, cute engineering grad student. He is 3 years older than me. Having said that, just like the girls you mention in your question, I don’t have a problem with dating guys 10 years older than me.

When it comes to women dating much older men, I do believe that there are “Daddy Issues”. They want someone to take care of them.

@jmah I agree. Much older is odd, and so is much younger, with either sex either way.

3 and 4 for me too. My most serious boyfriend was only a year older than me, so I’d consider that the same age, but in general the 23~24 year old group tends to appeal to me most :)

Ok, but what would you consider as too much. For example, in my case I get most attention from 18–24 year olds. Given that im 32, that makes a range of 8–14 years difference. Is this odd? and what age range is socially acceptable?

I know that from my friends point of views, if I dated an 18 year old, my male friends would probably say, jammy bugger and pat me on the back etc,.... Female friends would probably have a different view. In terms of family, I guess they would be surprised but not overly bothered.

Now on her side, I guess her family (and this is completely hypothetical as I don’t have a gf) would be very shocked at the older man but I have no idea of what her friends, (both male and female) opinions would be.

Any take on this?

Thanks.

A 32 year old dating an 18 year old…I suppose anything is possible but that seems really odd to me, it would take 2 special people to make that work I think and not have it be terribly awkward in social situations especially.

18 is too young. Makes me think you will always want 18 year olds even when you’re 50. I would have no problem with 24 if she is already working and on her own. Each situation is different depending on the people though, difficult to have a hard fast rule. Mostly I would want you to be intellectual equals, with similar goals and ideas about marriage and life.

@JLeslie – Got to admit, I never thought 8 years would even be acceptable at age 24, so is that any different for example between:

16 & 24 – OUCH
18 & 26
30 & 38
or 60 & 68

It seems that the age gap is more socially acceptable the higher up the scale you go even thought the gap is equal?

@mowens – Perhaps not, but it would still be interesting to find out age gaps in the gay arena too.

@Mushy99 I think that’s it exactly. When I was 18 I dated a 22 year old. Even the four year difference then seemed a bit odd, but when I talked about it with my friends they’d say, “Well, when you’re 30, he’ll only be 34.” The age difference didn’t seem like such a big deal when those ages were considered. Not surprisingly, we broke up, but my point is the same as yours – age differences, even though still the same amount of years, don’t seem to matter at older ages.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that 4 years to an 18 year old is a greater portion of their lifetime than it is to a 30 year old. I don’t really know.

@Allie – Also, it is a look thing too? I look younger than I am.

So I guess my question is if you are 20 and you see someone who looks 25 but is really 30? Does the age question still come into it or is it more socially acceptable?

@Mushy99 Yeah, I would say the age you look has to do with it. If a 30 year old man looked 20, I’d probably flirt a bit, because 1) I may find him attractive and 2) I think he’s younger than he really is. If that same man looked 40, the case would probably be different, because I would assume he is older than he actually is.

I should have a talk show and interview random people about random subjects. Lol

@mushy in my mind it has more to do with men who are attracted to very young women. Women look much different under the age of 22. Mostly people will say that you will have nothing in common with someone much younger than you, I would say that too, but the thing is men attracted to under 22, who are over 30 generally my mind goes right to the physical, for a few reasons, including a 19 year old girl is much more limited in her view of the world than a 30 year old for the most part, so I doubt you are in love with her mind, experience and accomplishments. So, if you are attracted to that girl for dating and realtionships, probably you will always be attracted to that type of girl, which means always seeking someone very young no matter how old you are. At older ages I am not thinking that way.

I date/am attracted to men slightly older than me. The reason is simple, college-age boys are hardly known for their maturity.No, I don’t think you drawing a penis on your notebook is funny, no I don’t want to get drunk and act like a moron (I’m aware college-age girls can be just as bad).

@JLeslie – Yes, totally agree. I think a man aged over 30 who seeks a woman of 18 is probably looking for something other than a serious relationship, however it may be that the woman has exactly the same feeling and is simply looking for a bit of fun? So it may actually work up to a point, however one without the other IMO won’t last very long (ie, sex without love).

Phisically, perhaps women also prefer someone with experience?

My answer is #6. I am 40, look mid-20s and have been approached by men on both sides of the age spectrum, but perhaps by younger ones a little more.

From what I understand, the ”rule” is half your current age plus seven is the youngest one should go for serious dating. I suppose at the older end, it’s as old as doesn’t creep you out! :D

#4.

In high school I had my fair share of dating younger men, and men my age. It never worked out. I couldn’t find anyone with the right maturity level. Now I dated this guy for years on and off, he was a year older than me. While it was a little better.. He was still not what I needed. After him, I starting hanging out with a guy who was 23 when I was almost 18. I liked the age difference there, but things didn’t work out. Now I’m 20 dating a 24 year old and the age difference to me is perfect. I know everyone is different but we just mesh so well. People tend to tell me I’m mature for my age since I was forced to grow up when I was about 10 so it just works out well for the both of us!

#4. My guy has to be older than me. I’m 20 and my man is 26 :)

@davidk and @Saaishen both make great points. @davidk seems to be especially knowledgeable in the ways that women think/feel. At least a lot of what he says applies to me. My husband is almost 14 years older than me. Yes, that’s fourteen. We started dating when I was 22 and got serious pretty quickly. To talk a little about the social aspect, @Mushy99 – Neither my family or friends seemed bothered by it at all, not even my Grandmother really blinked twice about it. I think people could see that we were happy and a great fit for each other and that’s what really matters. Presuming both parties are of a legal age when the relationship begins and you really care for one another, age is just a number, as they say. Before I met my husband I dated men (well, some were still boys) of a large age range. I definitely didn’t seek out guys that I knew were older than me, in fact I was sure my husband was much younger than he really was when we first met. I think the points that @davidk brought up are some of what has made our relationship more successful. My husband was just more the kind of man that I hoped to be with than many of the younger guys. We fell for each other regardless of our ages and we’re just as in love as ever!! Good luck @Mushy99!

I’ve dated almost 10 years older, and I’ve dated 19 year olds. (I am 26)

My hubby is a year younger than me. I could care less to be honest. I never thought that a couple years either way made much of a difference. It is the bigger age gaps that would stop me from proceeding.

#4 for me. Maybe I’ll add #3 to the list when I’m a little older, but as of right now… I’m only 24 and guys my age still act like young teens, for the most part. I haven’t been interested in anyone more than six years older than me, and I’ve never been interested in a guy the same age as me. Thinking about it, I’d say the age difference is generally 3+ years.

@Mushy99 they might be both out for fun, but I am saying if it becomes a long term relationship I think it is likely to fail. If it becomes long term, it probably means he likes less experienced (meaning less exprienced in life) women, and so she will most likely grow up, and grow away and bored with him, or as she grow he will get annoyed that she is changing the dynamic of the relationship, or again he is basically attracted to very young women physically. Again, I am talking very young like 18,19, 20, and men who are over 30.

Add on: I take that back. I guess I have been interested in a guy the same age as me. Once.

4 . I don’t like kids.. hehehehe well I’m 25 my boyfriend is 34, and we have a great relationship, I dont like guys my age because they are just so inmature!!! sorry but it’s true.. I used to have a boyfriend who was 1 year younger than me.. and I dont know I felt like I had to take care of him all the time..

@Lorenita – There’s hope for us oldies then ;-)

I find it creepy when an older man hits on a much younger woman (women who are legal, I’m talking about). Say, a guy in his 40’s hitting on a woman in her 20’s. Just how I feel, though.

@jmah Having enjoyed a long-term (5½ yrs) relationship with somebody 22 years my senior, I would definitely disagree with your statement:
When it comes to women dating much older men, I do believe that there are “Daddy Issues”. They want someone to take care of them.
I was certainly not looking for anyone to take care of me, in fact I struggled for some time with the age difference until I finally decided that it was the person I had fallen in love with, in view of that his age became irrelevant. There may be occasions when a woman is looking for someone to take care of her but I would argue that an older man is no more likely to do this than a younger man, regardless of his financial situation.

(In case you were wondering, I was 38 when we first met, hardly a child)

I don’t date men my age or younger. Some of them have been almost 10 years older. I think it has to do with my maturity and the fact that I love stability in relationships.

By the way. I DO have Daddy issues and don’t really care about that “label”.

@Adagio That’s wonderful. :)

I’m just going by what I’ve witnessed, though. From what I’ve seen, most of these woman either didn’t have a father figure in their lives, or they were sexually abused.

You’re right, though, I really shouldn’t generalize.

@jmah – Are you a psychologist?

@Mushy99 Nope, but, I did volunteer for an organization that dealt sexually abused/battered women.

Just going by what I have witnessed, folks.

I actually dated a woman who had been sexually abused as a child. It wasn’t pleasant and only lasted a year. I think it’s very difficult for them to have a normal relationship afterwards.

I know I never really had a father figure.. And while I wasn’t sexually abused, I was physically. I don’t like significantly older men, but I do like older (as in 4 years).

They say women look for stability and the ability to provide (financially) and men look for, well, looks. If you buy into that statement then it makes sense women would be attracted to older men, because they generally have more money and are more stable.

@JLeslie
Men are designed to want “younger” women because theyre more “fertile”. This is something they can’t really help. Also the reason why they prefer women that have a round face (because they look younger. ick)
This kind of stuff fascinates me. Maybe not accurate for everyone, but this is the way it usually is.

2.) I date younger men
3.) I date men the same age
4.) I date older men

My current SO is two years younger than me, and I’ve had a SO who was 4.5 years older than me- those are my largest age gaps in either direction.

@pinkparaluies I agree with all of that, the fertile and round face thing.

@davidk, You should get triple lurve for your answer. I think you nailed it.

#5 hands down! (11 year gap between me and my SO)

Sure they go for older men. But they fantasize about the younger ones.

@jmah and @JLeslie My boyfriend is a lot older than me and I don’t have “daddy issues”. I get on very well with my own father and if I want someone to “take care of me” then I have that in my dad. The reason I am with someone so much older than me? Because I love the person he is. It has nothing to do with his age. If he was a year younger than me (but still the same person) I would be with him (although I do think, for the most part, older men are much more attractive to look at and so I would probably be more attracted to his older self than his younger self if we are only focusing on the physical). Yes, he looks after me to a certain extent but I would expect any partner to do that (as I would expect to do the same for them) regardless of age.

@Leanne1986 of course it is not true for everyone, you might be one of those people. I don’t make that assumption about you specifically. I don’t know how old you are? Again, my focus is more specifically very young women age 18 and 19 with older men. Once you get up in your 30’s it is less of an issue (I use issue loosely) in my mind.