How do I keep my expectations low, so I am more happy ?

my head hurts

Get out of your own head. Look for happiness elsewhere. Volunteer. =)

Instead of concerning yourself with what “could happen” or what “could be”, put your mind on the present. If you are having trouble living in the present you could learn to meditate, and/or keep a gratitude journal.

I always play out the worst case scenarios in my head so I can anticipate them, and they never seem to happen. Plus whatever does happen is less terrible than I was expecting so I’m pleasantly surprised.

Be prepared for the worst- they be happy when it does not happen.

It’s called, in the modern pop-culture, “catastrophizing,” and only succeeds in sapping your energy.

@gailcalled is right- to always focus on the negative will in fact sap your energy. It will also bring down your outlook and could fuel depression.

Perhaps the real key is to always appreciate the good in life and always look for it.

@Dog I used to think like your statement above (prepare for the worst) then I realized it just wasn’t as effective as being present.

If you don’t let your mind wander to the “what ifs” you can enjoy the present happenings.

Avoid expectation.

@SpatzieLover I do not live by the motto “expect the worst” unless we are talking about Christmas or Thanksgiving with the extended family- which usually ends up a great deal like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

@Dog I understand…I have the same issue/situation. My husband’s good at pointing me back to the present in those cases.

It sounds like what you’re trying to do is build an emotional wall.

I’ve been there… done that.

it’s not worth it… life’s too short
Today, I would much rather live, love, and yes sometimes have loss.

It is in the sad moments that we learn most about ourselves, and learn how important it is to cherish those we love, and what is truly important in life.

Settling for an emotionally detached existence is like going through the motion of living, and never reaching your full potential or happiness.

The fear of reaching that full potential and happiness is what keeps most people from truly soaring.

I wish you much brightness in your travels… never let go of hope. It floats, you know. You just have to reach up and grab onto it.

I think it’s ok to expect things. You just don’t want to link your happiness to how well your expectations match what happens. I expect wonderful things to happen when I put in real effort toward something. I find that increasing my effort or changing the focus of my effort works better than lowering expectations. If I just lowered my expectations I wouldn’t be working toward much and I wouldn’t be accomplishing much either. It’s not magic. It’s just taking a realistic view of your situation or your goal and keeping your eyes opened.

If you’re talking about expecting things from other people, I think it’s best to take a realistic view there, too. Just expect people to be themselves. Sometimes they’re great and sometimes they’re jerks, and that’s nothing to do with you.

Work toward the best, but prepare for the worst. Do all you can to achieve what you hope for, but don’t be caught off guard if things don’t work out.

@ChazMaz is right on this one.

I don’t really expect. I just take things as they come. I focus on how things are in the present, and I don’t believe I’ve ever been totally disappointed by much of anything.

don’t…. @ChazMaz

edit: but i know that won’t help… I’ll write tomorrow as I’m not at my best right now xxx

It’s not a matter of lowering expectations, it is more like finding the best in every thing that does happen.

I just saw one guy who was nearly crushed in a car, when a church steeple fell on top of it. Instead of dwelling on how he almost got killed, he was so happy that the rescuers were able to get him out. He said he was the luckiest man on earth, because the rescue company had such well trained people.

The book Handbook to Higher Consciousness suggests you upgrade your expectations to preferences.

In other words, you prefer a particular action, but you’ll accept what “comes down the chute”. You’ve accepted the possibility that something other than what you expect may occur, and you’re ok with it.

see link

The Twelve Pathways to Higher Consciousness
Handbook to Higher Consciousness by Ken Keyes

http://www.highvibrations.org/archive1/pathways.htm