What do you think about opening gifts at a party?

Opening the presents, rolling round in the wrapping paper, and forgetting who they were from is all part of the fun. But then I agree that I hate it when people watch you, it is kinda trying to have to go ‘Ooooh an electronic can opener that is lavender scented… awesome!’ so as not to offend anyone. Plus theres always that innapropriate gift from a HILARIOUS friend that you open in front of your mum….

I hate opening gifts in front of others. When someone gives me a gift I thank them sincerely but wait to open it till I’m on my own. The only time I make an exception is when they ask me to go ahead and open it. Then I am quite honest that I would be happy to but didn’t know if it were appropriate. Of course at that point it puts me on the spot to be “extra” happy with the gift.

I think your point of avoiding embarrassment on the part of gift givers is also very salient.

Having said all of that I still love seeing the faces of children on Christmas morning as they open their presents. Or even other family members who rarely receive gifts. I prefer not to open mine in front of others even then but I do so anyhow.

Presents are the best part. I love to see the reaction from the fivers and receivers. They’re presents. Presents. They are supposed to make people feel good.

I’m a gift-giver by nature. I have no idea how or why opening gifts at parties began to happen in front of others. Some people are very pushy about it, too. At my son’s last b-day one relative and one friend wanted to see him open their gifts asap. He prefers to take his time with each item and look it over.

When I give a gift I usually say “I got you a little something. You can open it later on.” Because, that’s what I prefer to do, open gifts in private.

I hated opening the gifts for my wedding and baby shower in front of everyone. One, because there were duplicates, two, because we had a lot of invitees I’d wish I could’ve spent more time visiting and chatting with and three, because I had to have someone else write everything down for the thank you’s. When I open things on my own, I rarely have to write down who’s given what because i have time to mentally process it all.

@tinyfaery Presents are supposed to make people feel good. However, some people aren’t great at buying thoughtful gifts and then opening the gifts in front of them can be awkward every gift my son has rec’d from my sister comes to mind!

It’s not about the giver. Sometimes my gifts suck when compared to others but it’s still a gift and I went out of my way to get it. If the receiver is gracious, which they should be, then what’s the problem?

@tinyfaery My son is four. He’s working on being gracious. It is a process. He is honest. I’m not talking about the amount spent on the gift, BTW, but the lack of thought about who the gift is for.

my son doesn’t like footballs or “boy stuff” as he calls it. My sister insists on buying him only sport related items

@SpatzieLover You opened gifts at your wedding? I have never seen that.

@all I agree Chistmas for the children is different, I am all in favor of letting them open their gifts. Mostly I was thinking about adult parties where gifts can range from $20 to $200. I don;t like th epeer pressure associated with it, especially for those who may not have a lot of money to spend.

I think it’s great – up to a certain age. And the kid will tell you what that age is. The other day a talk show host asked what is the age limit for trick or treating. He answered this: when you get a razor in the apple, and you can shave with it – you are too old to be trick or treating. Same with presents-opening at parties, imho.

@JLeslie It was after my reception…we eloped.

@SpatzieLover I see. Makes sense now.

@SpatzieLover I love that honesty in kids, except when it’s my own kid. ;) It doesn’t matter how many times you say, “Just say thank you no matter what,” they don’t get it until they’re older.

I feel very self-conscious opening gifts in front of people, except at Christmas when we are all opening presents. That part of my wedding shower was torture for me, and I felt so awkward the entire time. Later my mother-in-law told me people commented on how gracious I was, and I was surprised. I felt like a dork. To this day, I don’t like being watched when I open a gift unless it’s from someone very close to me, like my husband or kids. They already know what a big dork I actually am, so it’s OK.

On the other hand, and this doesn’t really make sense, I like to watch people open gifts I give them! I’ll usually say, “You don’t have to open it right now” though, to give them an out if they’d rather open it later.

So it isn’t the thought that counts?

@tinyfaery Not sure if you are being sarcastic? Still GA. I do think for most people receiving gifts it is the thought. But for the giver, he/she may feel inadequate as their gift is opened compared to many others that are of much greater $$ value. What do you think?

@tinyfaery Of course the thought counts. If the giver insists upon watching you open it, and they know the person they’re giving it to is honest they need to be prepared. ;)

@JLeslie When finances have been an issue, I usually make the gift.

At my daughters parties, she always has a little time built in to open her presies… quite oftern her friends pester her to open them because they really enjoy watching her open them and I know my daughter loves watching people open their presents!

Not sure if I saw this link on another thread… I know it’s about Chrismas but it is hilarious!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMWTs0YT928

I hate opening gifts in front of the gifters. If I had it my way, gifts that I receive and give would be opened in secret and not a word would be spoken about it. No thank-you’s, no nothin’. But I never obey my own wishes and send a lengthy, heart-felt thank you.

I think it’s akward if you are the opener and if you are the audience. I have a hard time acting excited about someone else’s new can opener.

Maybe naughty gift parties are different because at least that stuff is fun.

I’ve had this discussion before, and people usually say they like seeing the person open the present they gave but it’s boring watching them open other presents.

For my sons first birthday, we didn’t do any present opening..we knew our son wouldn’t be able to do it, so we left it for after the party. But for his second birthday, he opened the gifts in front of everyone and everyone got a kick out of his reaction.
I think some parties are meant to have the person open the gifts…for example, I can’t imagine going to a baby shower and the person NOT opening the gifts. I would find it incredibly rude.

I never thought of gift-opening that way… I’m still not giving it much though lol
To each his own.

At every gift giving event I’ve been to, the recipient always opens right there as part of the party. This is nearly always family gatherings, so I don’t know how non-family parties would do it.

@casheroo Ya I can’t imagine a babyshower without it either. I’m not sure I’d find it rude but it is part of the whole idea.

@RedPowerLady & @casheroo I had to open hundreds of gifts in front of an audience of about 90 that stayed to watch me open the mountainous pile. I’ve been to a few showers tht didn’t involve gifts…they were very pleasant!

@SpatzieLover hundreds of gifts… wait that’s all I got to… then audience of 90…. man you must be popular!

@RedPowerLady I am the youngest in my family. We hadn’t had a new babe in a looooong time. Not popular at all. I just love throwing celebrations when they are long over due! BTW-in my family MEN are invited too…always has been this way. They make it much more memorable.

I kind of agree it is probably odd not to open the gifts at a baby shower, but I would be fine if they didn’t. I’ve been to showers where the gifts took almost 2 hours to get through. Pretty much everything is from the registry so the mommy to be picked it all out anyway.

I was very nervous and uncomfortable opening gifts at my wedding and baby showers…maybe it was because I was right in the middle of everyone and felt I had to make sure I went ooh and ahh at each thing. Anyhow, at those types of things, hopefully a good friend or the host would keep track of who gives you what, to make writing the thank you notes easier! We have just started going to kids birthday parties, I have been to some where gifts were and were not opened…personally I don’t have a preference.

@JasonsMom08 again opening gifts at a wedding. Is that a common practice in your circles?

Fantastic if they’re for me, otherwise, someone get me a fresh drink.

@JLeslie Yes, it is done at many weddings. Here in Wis, it’s the norm to have a gift opening the day after the wedding. Usually brunch is served at the opening. It’s either at someone’s home or at a hall.

@SpatzieLover oh, the day after. That is kind of nice.

@JLeslie, sorry I meant opening gifts at my wedding shower, Not at my actual wedding, no!

@SpatzieLover That makes sense :). Also, I know hubby will be out our shower, there is no way I’m leaving him out :)

@JLeslie I remember going to a wedding as a kid when they opened presents in front of everyone. It was interesting to watch. Oh and just recently I went to a BIL’s wedding where they did the same. We got them a real gift and a gag gift. It was some moldy frybread and some thong underwear, lol. They opened it in front of everyone!

At bridal and baby showers I think gift opening is mandatory. Birthday parties for grown-ups can go either way. I prefer to see the gifts opened no matter the occasion, because I really like seeing all of the gifts and I love seeing them open the gift from me.

Kids parties took us a while to figure out. The consensus was that our kids liked watching the birthday child open whatever gift they gave. As parents it drove us nuts to see the birthday child (whether it was our child or someone else’s) tear through gifts and toss them aside without even looking at the card or acknowledging the giver. By our children’s third birthdays the group of moms I hung with had it figured out. We always let the birthday child open the gifts at the party. We sit the birthday child in a chair with an empty chair next to him/her. As the child opens gifts, the giver sits in the chair next to the child. This not only makes a fabulous photo opportunity (great for those thank you cards too), but it keeps the giver- who is usually incredibly excited about the gift they gave – in the loop, and forces the birthday child to acknowledge the giver. I still do it this way at all the boys’ parties. The only exception to this rule is gifts from family members such as grandparents who would spend much more on the child than friends. I always have the child open family presents in private so no one feels uncomfortable. My ex-MIL has been pissed off at me since my oldest son’s first birthday because I wouldn’t let her give him her crazy extravagant gift at his party.

@SpatzieLover I have a question about that tradition, so if you get gifts sent to you weeks in advance you save them at your house to open on the day of the brunch? 90% of my gifts were sent to me before the wedding.

And the money, people get to know how much money relatives gave you?

@JLeslie The Germans & Italians in my family only give money…so I did have to teach my husband how to open the cards/envelopes in front of others so no one could view what we’d received.

Yes, we saved the sent gifts for both our wedding and baby shower, since other relatives wanted to see what their brothers/sisters/aunts-etc had sent. In some cases it was hand-made so I can understand their wanting to view it.

In our case, for both openings we used my mom’s apartment community room to set up the party. (She’s an apartment manager)

I tried to keep it as organized as possible and kept a box to put the money gifts in so nothing would be lost. Any gift cards went in there too.

I think I had 120 thank you’s to write so I made my husband take good notes as we opened.

We still haven’t figured out our son’s b-day openings yet. @SuperMouse‘s idea for the kids to sit for a photo op is perfect! Thanks @SuperMouse! That way each child feels special, too. The adults…I’m just not certain yet. It really has been a dilemma for us. @SuperMouse we also have the issue of one side of the family giving very expensive gifts, and the other side spending significantly less…it’s an issue whenever we have gatherings that include both sides.