Are thank-you notes for wedding gifts going out of style?

no it’s not out of style, and I too have spent lots of money on gifts that I never even found out if they got. And I am talking about some very weatlhy people here with time on their hands. I think it’s callous, crass, and I never felt the same about them after that.

Nope, not out of fashion. For awhile there, it was becoming a fad to have a “thank you for the gift, whatever it was” card at the reception, or to have the guest address their own envelope.

With money, it’s entirely possible that they separated the cash from the card and they forgot what you gave, and are too embarrassed to ask. I usually write what the gift was on the back of the card.

Saying thank you is never out of style. People are just getting so caught up in their lives that they don’t take the time. But they sure take the time to unwrap those presents! It’s rudeness to the max, I think.

It is not out of style… but it has been two years and I still haven’t sent mine. I am still planning on sending them soon!

@grntwlkr, Out of curiosity, why are you procrastinating?

Its only out of style for tacky people.

@avvooooooo got it right.

I had my thank you notes ready to go after my wedding. We had a small wedding, and did not receive many gifts. I still wrote personal thank you notes to everyone.
Now, after my baby shower..which I had at 36 weeks pregnant, that took some time to get done and I was later with them..but I had a baby so I knew people would understand. I still got all the notes out.

Well, partly it is embarrassing, also by now i have no idea who gave me what, or their addresses. It is also a two person job, and it is hard to find a time that we both want to do it. To fix this we have scheduled time to do like it or not.

They probably didnt say anything to you because they were embarrassed.

It’s not going out of style. As @jbfletcherfan said, it’s plain old rude to not send them within a year. Sorry @grntwlkr, but I can’t think of a single good exude for not sending thank you notes for wedding gifts. Why does it have to be a 2 person job?

It’s not out of style, but some people just don’t have a habit of it. I wasn’t raised with the idea that thank-you notes should be written. The first time I wrote a thank-you note was after my own wedding shower. Sad, huh? My parents never had me do it, so it was a harder habit to develop later in life.

Still, I am not good at it! If I see someone after they’ve sent me a gift and I haven’t written a thank-you yet, I will thank them in person and apologize for not writing a note. I would hate to have someone think I forgot or didn’t care when I could easily let them know I’m just scatterbrained and procrastinate too much! Most people are understanding, but to never acknowledge a gift in any way is just plain rude.

@grntwlkr, That’s probably the most common reason, which relates to lack of organization. I can remember my mom fussing at me for that. She made me keep an index card on each person I invited to the wedding. Address on one side, if they were invited to a shower, if they came, what they gave, if they RSVPed to the wedding, if they came, what they gave. It sounds anal, but it made it a lot easier.

She made me write the thank you for the gift before I opened the next gift.

I used TheKnot.com for planning my wedding, and there was a place in which you can track your guests and what you received from them. It was helpful for me to track who gave what, and I sent out the TY notes about 2 weeks after my wedding.

Whether or not you’re busy (everyone is) isn’t an excuse. Do a half dozen or so at a time. And whether or not your parents taught you to send them is immaterial. It’s just courtesy & common sense that they should be sent out in a timely manner.

If I spent my hard earned money on a wedding gift and didn’t get so much as a generic thank you card after a year, I would reconsider my friendship with the couple.

Even if its as tacky as a card with:

“Thank you for the _________________.

We appreciate your generosity as we start our new journey together as husband and wife.”

printed on it and the blank filled in, its still not as tacky as not sending thank you notes.

@right! Even “thank you for the gift” if you’ve forgotten who gave what.

I have always received hand-written thank-yous for all gifts. I also write them. I see nothing wrong with asking the giftee, after an appropriate amount of time, whether s/he/ received the gift. The secondary reason for writing a note is to let the gifter know that his/her gift arrived and is not stuck in some UPS storage bin or cyberspace limbo.

i think so. i went to 3 weddings this year and didn’t get a thank you card from any of them.

im still kinda pissed about it.

Yes I admit my fault, but you have no right to judge me, maybe the people who didn’t get their cards do, but that’s about it. And we did give our thanks to everyone, just not in the form of a card. And as to @likeradar saying there is no reason why we didn’t do it, I can think of many, you don’t know me, or what situation I am in.

@grntwlkr, this isn’t about you. It’s a general rant.

You’re not alone in this.

Your right I am getting defensive. Sorry, just a touchy subject!

My gosh, I’m having anxiety over one thank you that I am two months late in sending. I can’t imagine not writing thank yous for my wedding. At least @grntwlkr has the intention of doing so. People who just don’t care puzzle me.

@grntwlkr Yeah, I don’t know you. All I know of you and pretty much everyone else on here is what you share here. So now my mental image of you is dude/ette who didn’t thank people for at least two years because he/she and partner couldn’t bother. It’s what you shared with us. It is what it is. It’s not annoyance directed solely at you, since as you said, I don’t know you.

@grntwlkr I can see WHY this is a touchy subject for you. You should have known that this was going to be looked at unfavorably. There really is NO excuse for them being 2 YEARS late. Ridiculous. If you sent ME a thank you 2 years after the fact, I’d be going ‘what the hell?’ It would also remind me AGAIN that I wasn’t thanked in a timely manner, & I’d get pissed all over again.

@grntwlkr: I can only speak for myself, but I always put time and valued cash into picking out an appropriate gift, particularly for very important events. One can write two thank-you notes on a clip board while sitting on the toilet. There is always a few minutes/day no matter what situation you are in (unless, possibly on death row or suffering from a really debilitating disease).

Perhaps spend a little less time on video games and reinforce your personhood by writing, with an apology, those notes.

Thank You notes are never out of style. I encourage my sons (16 & 20) to write them even for birthday gifts to the family.

If you don’t receive one from a wedding gift, then, imo, they didn’t care enough about you or the time taken to purchase something for them “they wanted” they really wern’t worth the bother.

I finally said something to a person just last week that I sent a weddig gift to LAST November how the product worked. Their comment, fine, why are you looking to buy one for yourself? We’ve never even used it….Pissed me off, it was on their registry and cost over a hundred bucks….........They are off my Christmas card list…......

The grandmother of one of my step-sons sent him a nice check one year for Xmas. After months, she said to him, ” No thank-you note, no more checks.” He was in his early teens and got with the program. Nothing like a direct statement or query.

@Skippy OMG! How incredibly rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@gailcalled We used to send cute Christmas ornaments and books to my cousin’s
children. Eventually, we stopped sending gifts to those whose parents didn’t write thank you notes.

We got a SUPER COOL dragon drawing last year from the 4 year old for his. He could have written “thank you,” but he thought a dragon said it better! :D

@avvooooooo That’s adorable! The kids I take care of didn’t like writing thank you notes when they were younger (now that they’re 6, it’s just too damn bad if they don’t like it), but sending a thank you is non-negotiable. So, I would write the words on the top of a big piece of paper, and they would draw awesome, colorful, crazy pictures of themselves, the giver, and the gift, usually surrounded by all sorts of hearts and flowers and stuff.

@avvooooooo – great idea, and a way to get kids into the habit of doing TY notes at an early age!

@JasonsMom08 The older one wrote a note and that was perfectly nice and all… but the dragon was COOL! :D

@avvooooooo – agreed! Love the creativity!

I just got a thank-you note; written by the mother and illustrated and signed by 2½ yr old Grace.

@JasonsMom08 OH! Forgot the flying unicorn! That one was SUPER COOL too. Just found it when I moved some stuff on the fridge.

In the last five years I have given gifts to the sons, and wives, niece of my significant other. At no time did I ever receive a thank you note, thank you email, or even a personal phone call. I selected lovely silver jewelry, expensive camping gear, and this year, antique stick pins. I get it. THese adult ( almost 40’years old) children are discourteous, and ungrateful. The entitlement attitude has hit me in the wrong place. Not even a Christmas card, mind you from them. I am a slow learner. Next year, no gifts whatsoever, lovely card. I’m done being unappreciated.