How does one fight materialistic urges?

If you work hard for your money, then enjoy it a little.

Understand that material items have no lasting value because they are impermanent.

Why not just buy what you want?

watch fight club, read nietzsche.

EDIT: listening to george carlin helps too.

Why do you want to fight the urges, specifically? As long its within reasonable amount, I don’t see anything wrong with it. There’s a difference between outright indulgence and treating yourself every now and then. The problem that most people have is that once they start, they can’t stop. They want more and more and become increasingly greedy. But this does not happen to everyone.

I understand that I have a completely different view on material goods than you and many people have, but I’m just curious.

a little bit of luxury never hurt anyone! I spent more money on a bed than i would have paid for a car a few years ago. soooo worth it. and the wine may taste the same out of a jelly jar but i love my crystal wine glasses.

buy the absolute best of whatever it is . You will soon find that your urges are controlled. example: a really good espresso maker is $600.00

If you have a little saved away there’s nothing wron g with treating yourself once in a while. You work hard and provide for your family.. why not indulge a little bit every once in a while?
oooooooh maybe you can get that shinny new microscope you’ve had your eye on!

I find penury quite assistive in this regard. Advancing age also helps curb these urges.

Being frugal helps. You can find plenty of excellent deals if you look around, so you don’t have to completely stop buying goods, just be more aware of what you are spending unnecessarily. Plus, seeing your savings compared to what you could have spent is an excellent feeling.

Your a doctor. You went to school for 50 years. You sacrificed a lot. You deserve your money and you should buy nice stuff with it. Money is for enjoying if you have more than you need. You might die tomorrow. Spend it and have fun. Just set your kids up with college funds. You are blessed to have what you have. Travel and show your kids the world.

In my opinion, even as a po’ person, that if you have the means to purchase what you want..and it doesn’t disturb you paying your bills and having a little nest egg, then go for it! You shouldn’t feel bad for having urges to buy things. It’s fun to get new gadgets and new clothes (okay I like new clothes lol) You are a successful doctor, as is your wife…you guys earned what you have.
oh and feel free to donate the used belongings to me. I like new things too, and used is as good as anything for me :)

When you get older you worry if you will outlive your resourses, hehehehe. But I don’t see it that way. I acquire what I want if I can afford it and occasionally my credit card supplements if I can’t afford it right that moment.

I gave up believing a long time ago that I could save the starving children of (insert current country, it was China when the nuns taught me) by eating my broccoli or by not having something I want.

But remember the environment, hummers and the big mercedes are not energy efficient even if you can afford the petrol!

I also aid others when I can just not to the extent that I starve so someone else may eat. I’m not that good.

I’d definitely like to know – My latest craze is collecting Tupperware! (Oh, I love it so).

Lose your money and lose a job that affords you much extra, that’ll teach ya!

It helps if you can keep in mind the distinction between wants and needs. If you realize that you are treating yourself to some luxuries and not getting them because you absolutely need them or are entitled to them, that’s fine. If you are seeing luxuries as necessities, it’s probably time to take your head out of your ass.

“Head out of your ass”? What are you, a potty mouth?

I found this song for @shilolo .
Hope you like it!

If you can afford it and you want it, why not? They are only things, but I would enjoy life while I can. It is terribly short.

After a long fight with my puritan conscience, I bought a $400 Italian black leather jacket over 8 years ago. Not a minute’s regret, I might add.

However, that said, I am slowly getting rid of all my possessions that need to be #1 dusted, #2 repaired or #3 replaced. It is interesting how freeing that is.

@shilolo: Shop selectively. Enjoy whatever. We’ll all be dust in 100 years.

It’s ok I can get you more of whatever you need.
of course you’ll never have enough and the game will go on forever trapping you in a cycle of misery of wanting and craving, but hey don’t listen to the haters ~_~

After years of dealing with failing computers, clunky old things, my children convinced me to get a lovely little Apple portable. I tend not to get things like this, because frankly, the clunky things work too, just take a bit longer, or cause a bit (!) more frustration. Well, they were right. This is better. A bit more expensive, but worth it. It makes me wonder how many other things I put up with that could be just that much nicer for a bit more. On the other hand, the truth is, none of this is that important. It is nice to be able to spend money on yourself every once in awhile though.

@skfinkel:I remember the computer you had in your sunroom (this would have been in Sept. 1999). I was writing something very important on it; I hit one key by mistake and the entire text vanished, forever. Even your inestimable youngest couldn’t retrieve it.

Which little Apple portable?

I was raised in a frugal family, and have practiced it all my life. My favorite trick is to say, I want that; after I check the other prices, I might come back and get it.

I find it helpful to dispassionately and carefully observe the full process: you see an object that you admire and you imagine the pleasure of owning it, how it will enhance your life and feelings of well-being, so you buy it. Then there’s a honeymoon period when you’re completely infatuated with your new acquisition and you use it as much as possible because you’re anxious to sample all the ways this thing is going to make your life better.

But—and here’s where attention is called for—observe how quickly that honeymoon period fades. Having danced for awhile with your new crush, the infatuation begins to wane. The little dopamine rush that accompanied its arrival in your life goes away, leaving a hollow dissatisfaction in its wake.

You impulse is then to chase that dreary sense of dissatisfaction by starting the process over again with another acquisition.

The key is to clearly see the full cycle in action, how the mechanism plays out. Once you’ve observed the process enough to understand where it inevitably leads, then when you hear the siren’s call of the new treasures, you’re less likely to fall under the spell. Walking away from the acquisition may cause a momentary pang of longing, but then observe how very quickly that pang subsides, and then observe the feeling of equanimity that follows.

^Exactly^

@Harp – sounds as if you are describing a shopaholic. But can’t an ordinary person simply purchase a non-essential item because you like it and want it? Is it only acceptable when it is something you will use continually until it dies?

Seems as if there must be a happy medium somewhere between what you describe and never buying anything for fun?

@rooeytoo
Yes of course but I think the nature of the question pointed to a more serious underlying issue maybe bordering shopaholic, but again maybe he is being too hard on himself. Maybe shilolo can clarify.
And I might add that there may be an element of self consciousness on his part in these difficult financial times.

I’m no shopaholic. I hardly have time to sleep, let alone shop. Mainly, it is the desire to have nice things (like a nicer car, for example) that I am trying to understand and come to terms with.

I’m about as far from a shopaholic as one can get, but I still see this process playing out in the few little indulgences I permit myself. It’s not a question of right and wrong. nor of becoming an ascetic. It’s simply a matter of cultivating a degree of self-awareness that permits one to objectively evaluate the outcomes of our own behaviors, then choosing.

@shilolo
Nothing wrong with that. I think it becomes a little obscene (and not to mention meaningless) when it’s at Jay Leno’s car obsession level but there’s nothing wrong with luxury. I think what is more seductive is the idea that material trappings are the measure of success and that can hamstring a person.

I read a fascinating article about Marc Dreier the NY attorney who was found guilty of an insane Ponzi scheme only overshadowed by Madoff whose own immense greed surfacing just months later exceeded his own. Yet while reading it I could not help but feel a strange thrill that this is an exciting lifestyle. Not to mention a strange hypocrisy with the article sandwiched between fine silk garments and expensive automobiles. But the trappings of wealth and the American Dream are just that at times…a trap. It’s a great little drama. Check it out. It’s truly unbelievable how much some people have but still don’t feel like they have enough or are a “success” Marc Dreier’s crime of Destiny

My eyes hurt and I want to go to sleep but I have to deal with my Fluther OCD and do one last check. So I haven’t read anybody else’s answers, but I wanted to say:

I think the fact that you’re aware of the fact that you want stuff and don’t need it is an indicator that you won’t get out of hand. If you can afford it, why not? I mean, who wants crappy stuff if it’s within their means to have better?

I wish I knew this answer! I’m almost a compulsive shopper. I’m considering keeping my credit card in my car (you know, gas, emergencies, etc)

@Harp I used to go through the process you describe. One of the things I learned to do was to not immediately pruchase the object that had enticed me. If I walked away from it and still was thinking about it a few days later, I might then go back and buy it. Still, the process of infatuation with the new thing then leading to indifference was often the same. Now there are very few new things I want, I tend to indulge myself more on experiences like travel.

@shilolo My last sentence on my last comment was crude and I apologize but I did mean the rest of it. As a doctor, you will probably be exposed to people who live very ostentatious lives, and it will be up to you to decide what you want to indulge in while instilling the values you want in your kids. Not always easy.

I guess I shop like @YARNLADY – drives my husband crazy. I’ll look at something, ponder for a bit, talk about how I like it, then put it back! He says, “If you like it, then get it!!” I often have trouble spending money on things I don’t actually need.

I too have reached a stage where I had a little bit more money to spend after years of scrimping and scraping. I started to buy wine, more essential oils and recently a gold pendant and had some gemstones set into a ring. All these would have been impossible for me to even think about several years back.

In buying wines, I actually got to talk to some colleagues whom I would normally not care to talk to. It gave us a common bond. I also found a shop that sells very good priced wines. I once bought out their entire stock of cooking white wine because it was actually a higher priced drinking wine but the labels fell off and was being sold below cost to get rid of stock.

When I bought my gold pendant (sunflower and at a pawn shop as it is cheaper), I thought it was an extravagance on my part. But that pendant really caught my eye. I have received quite a number of compliments. It makes me feel really good. I am very glad I bought it.

Less than 30 minutes after picking up my diamond emerald ring last night (wore it for less than 15 mins), I received a compliment. Sure made me feel really good! ; ) And I had the ring set at a jewellery factory instead of a jewellery shop. Cheaper.

I also bought lots of clothes at Salvo in Perth. Cost me less than half the price if not two thirds less. I don’t mind second hand stuff. They were still in very good shape!

I wanted to get the new iMac 27” but when I given the offer to buy a year old 24” iMac which would also meet my requirements but a lot cheaper, I accepted the offer.

I feel that I deserve some good things in life after working and struggling so hard. I’m not going to go overboard as I have set myself some goals in savings and investments.

Just be smart when you shop. Pamper yourself once in a while.

I spent two years researching a digital camera. Finally, a few months ago, I bought it. Having taken seven pictures and having forgotten how to #1) upload them and #2 delete from camera, I have to laugh.

I know that from time to time I will get out the manual and relearn everything…but so many complicated icons the size of Lyme ticks to learn. It does seem silly.

@gailcalled Keeping up with gadgetry is a whole ‘nother question that makes my brain ache!

@janbb: It is odd, learning something and then having to unlearn in in several months.

Going back to the question, on the occasional times when I needed or wanted a major purchase, I brooded, researched, mulled, revisited the product and eventually either rejected the product or bought it. It took months of waffling.

Shop in haste; repent at leisure.

It’s not how much you spend, but the amount of significance you place on owning this object. There are plenty of frugal people that I would consider materialistic.

If you have the means, buy what you’d like. To buy a lesser item to assuage these notions is still giving these objects more significance than they warrant.

@gailcalled
2 years…You reckless spendthrift. I think you should have mulled it over at least a decade. ~

@SeventhSense: It certainly felt like a decade.

@gailcalled
Come to think of it, there are purchases in the back of my mind which I mull over and over and just kind of slowly research for long periods of time until one day I’m in the store or online and I just buy it. I like to think it’s spontaneous but in all actuality it was long, thought out process. I hate to make a bad purchase and I everything I own I really do value for years.

Indulge in it until it sickens you, then you will be ready to follow the Way to True Happiness.
:-D