Is there such thing as being too dedicated?

Yes, it’s called co-dependency.

Of course it’s possible.

The line is different for everyone. When you are unhappy because you’re giving too much, you’re over the line. There’s no other test.

I think it’s a great thought-provoking question, and will be answered differently based on both culture and gender.

Sometimes I wonder if my future wife should be a modern, independant and strong willed woman – and leave me again just like the first one; or maybe I should just get me a different type this time around – more co-dependant and (insert your adjective here).

I like to think of myself as a type of feminist to a point – but maybe it’s what’s caused all of these divorces to a certain extent – what is it – like one in two nowadays?

@NewZen Nah, that’s not what caused divorce. If anything, men not being okay with strong women is what caused the divorces. :P

The dynamics of a relationship entirely depend on the couple. Some people can feel smothered if they’re given too much love or attention, other people crave it all the time. What you have to do is find someone who’s compatible with you and your ideal kind of relationship.

Yes. Dedication can turn into obsession. A good example are passionate employees maintaining a good work-life balance turning into workaholics and eventually into burnout victims.

Yes, and I’m with @Buttonstc on this one… I struggle to find the line though tbh. Every relationship I have had so far I’ve ended up compromising myself too much and when I’ve decided to stop, the relationship has ended. I guess good, fruitful, relationships that stand the test of time are the ones where you can both maintain you state of independence and self-worth whilst being able to love the other. However, most relationships that I am exposed to show some level of one coming off worse than the other.

In my opinion, over-dedication often is linked with low self-esteem on the part of one member of the relationship. They don’t feel they’re strong enough on their own, so they dedicate themselves entirely to their partner. The mentality behind that is generally “I can’t be happy unless my partner is happy.” Fear of losing that person for not being dedicated enough to their relationship also relates to this.

Dedication is important, it shows you take the relationship seriously. But putting one’s relationship (and their partner) higher in importance than one’s own health is dangerous and often leads to unhealthy relationships.

I find the best way to avoid this is to spend enough time being single to learn about yourself and what makes you happy. That way, you don’t feel that you have to devote yourself to your partner in order to be fulfilled.

Dedicated- reciprocal
Obsessed- non reciprocal leads to this