How would you help someone raise their self esteem?

If they’re that bad off, they’re probably depressed. I’d get them access to help, in the meantime I’ve always had a policy of constantly complimenting people in my life. Nice shirt, nice shoes, you’ve got a great laugh, I wish I had your hair, you look great and I’m glad you’re my friend. Get used to those phrases and they just start pouring out of you without you having to think it.

It makes the world of difference on a bad day.

Acknowledge their depression. Ignoring signs of depression, which include withdrawal from activities, irritability and fatigue, doesn’t help your friend. Stay positive when confronted with negativity. Realizing that they may not readily accept your help can prepare you for the long haul. Do not react to insults or feed into her negativity. Stand firm in your resolve to assist your friend without resorting to bickering or other petty behavior.

Although offering solutions can be helpful, the power of just listening can work wonders to relieve stress. Helping her to understand the seriousness of this condition can help her to see that she needs to get professional help.

She doesn’t withdraw herself from activities, she hangs out with us and does everything! Just when it comes to herself, she’s really self conscious and has a low self esteem. I don’t believe it to be too serious. She has friends of both sexes, but just believes that the guys aren’t attracted to her in any way, but merely friends. It isn’t a topic that is conversed about regularly, but it was just recently brought up.

Oh wow i have a friend who thinks she’s depressed and she acts like no one cares about her, yet she’s constantly surrounded by friends. when i try to help, she asks my why i care. i hate it so much. i’d love to no how i could help her raise her self esteem so we could have a normal conversation agian…

@iRemy, oh, that’s tough…. sounds pretty irritating.

@curiouscat That sounds like you are describing a “drama queen” rather than a truly depressed person.

@YARNLADY, how would you define a ‘drama queen’??

@curiouscat yeah it really is. and on top of that now I’m starting to talk with other girls and i don’t think she likes it… she wont admit it but i think she “knows” shes gunna lose a friend. Her esteem is so low, she wont even let me buy her a Christmas gift because (again she wont admit this) she thinks she doesn’t deserve gifts.

@curiouscat In this case, a person who tries to get you to react to “poor little me” without showing any of the other signs associated with a truly depressed person.

@YARNLADY: That sounds like a dangerous statement. You don’t know the situation, the person or the facts involved. I wouldn’t casually define someone who identifies themselves as depressed as simply dramatic. You may unintentionally nudge someone into disregarding their warning signs. Which is stupid as hell.

@asmonet As usual, you choose to interpret my comment in the worst possible light. The clue is in the comments above _She doesn’t withdraw herself from activities, she hangs out with us and does everything! _ This comment doesn’t sound like a person who is depressed.

Be a friend, a pal, a support tell them how good they look take them out and just be there for them. If they say something downing to their self tell them their crazy to think so.

This might fall into the realm of tough love but I think that you have to love yourself and be happy with who you are before you can love someone else. Gently nudge your friend to list all of the people who they care about and who care about them- all of these individuals see how wonderful your friend is and its now up to your friend to recognize all of the good qualities they have that others do see.

Learn a musical instrument. Sing in a choir. Get into a niche sports like table tennis. Read unusual scientific books and build up non-mainstream knowledge. Get interested in other people. Learn how to communicate.

@YARNLADY: Depression is not a cookie cutter illness. As usual, you oversimplify. I was depressed, and no one in my life knew – I hung out with others, was in clubs, did everything. Depression can manifest in a hundred different ways and I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss it based on one outsiders single observation.

You can’t help. Only they can do it for themselves.

@asmonet Offering an alternative explaination is a far cry from dismissing it. There are a lot more “drama queens” out there than people who are truly depressed.

@YARNLADY: You’ve missed my point entirely. If someone exhibits any sign that would cause you to think they’re depressed – you err on the side of caution rather than dismiss it and suffer potentially disastrous consequences. I am not saying it’s not possible, only that I think it’s dangerous to have assumptions in these situations. And this sounds pretty dismissive, no matter how you spin it in my opinion.

@dooj: That’s ridiculous, read the thread again.

@asmonet I believe that “acting out” (drama queen behavior) is becoming all too common with people who are trying to attract attention or avoid consequences for their own behavior.